butterfly1968 Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 I waited 3 years to seriously date after coming out of an emotionally abusing marriage. I met a guy who seemed wonderful. The first 3 months, he emailed me every morning, we went out, traveled and had fun. We discussed our previous marriages. Now, I feel I messed up by telling him too much about my past.... oh well. Fast forward 3.5 years later. He is a quiet person by nature I can deal with that but he jokes about ignoring me. He is comfortable going to dinner and never really conversing or taking long drives without saying hardly anything. I cope by reading many books. Whenever I try to converse, he says I talk all of the time. He only shows emotion when we are in bed actually having sex. There is no cuddling afterwards. No hand holding, hugs, or etc. He gives the best Hallmark cards for birthday, christmas, and valentines and will sign them with love......but, he has never told me that he loved me. I was sick for a couple of days and he did not bother to come over...but he did call a couple of times. We will laugh and joke about something and then all of a sudden, he becomes cold and distant. He has no problem pointing out my flaws and telling me what I should have done differently. When I try to tell him how I am feeling, he clams up, tells me he does not want to argue, and then leaves. Tonight, my girlfriend came over and he started pouting because he wanted to come over. He stated that I was putting her before him. So you ask..why are you still there? I do not want to be alone - even though I do alot of things by myself. I keep thinking back to the beginning when we met, hoping one day he will get it. What should I do?
denxnis Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 I am guilty of doing many of these things... He is not taking you seriously and will not until you stand your ground and do something to really show him he needs to change. I don't mean date someone else or do something you would regret but maybe taking a step back and giving him some much needed space to rethink what he may be losing.
gonefishin Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 I agree with the above comment.. He's just too comfortable You need to stand up for yourself and tell him relationships need both people trying and I'd say you could bet had he been sick you'd have been over doing everything you could to help .. You need to sit down and talk and you most of all need to realise your worth and you deserve love and proper companionship back.. Don't settle .. And this is a worse case scenario a life alone would be easier in the long un then how he will make you feel daily .... Take some time do some thinking..
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