nonrequired Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 (edited) Well how should i put this...( bit of a long post) Ever since i was little i have always been introverted yet very smart and aware. I look back at when i was 7 ( 11-12 years ago) and i can always remember that even then i was very mature, thats why i am hardly ever really bothered by anything, and my life is pretty peaceful... But as the years have gone by, i have gotten even more introverted it seems... I can look back at all of elementary school and realize that i had a fling of some sort whether i realized it or not in all those years, the girls came for me! Lol i even remember this one girl in 3rd grade hugging me, holding my hand, pleading me to sit next to her, and not once did i even consider her to be even a cute girlfriend back then, it never came to my mind.. Guess i just didnt care... But as the years have gone by, i have gotten more introverted, the the point where i have very little friends and they are mostly people ive known for a long time, and i have never really had a girlfriend..Ive always been the typical kid in the class who is above average in looks, is smart and nice but is quiet... I can always tell that people are nice to me because i send good vibes but that hasn't been enough... Now, senior year was last year and i can now tell this one girl liked me, ( she asked me out to prom and i said no because i didnt like that sort of stuff) and now we are not even friends ( the fact that i can be a bit of a conceded/intellectual/arrogant person in bits to show people to have some respect) probably had to do with that..and there was another girl who i asked out and she said yes, but it quickly got sour after the two first dates and she eventually came to conclusions about me saying that perhaps i wouldnt like her talking to ex boyfriends, or use the phone, and just saying stupid things.. So here i am, still without a girl in my life, and strangely enough, it has never been a problem for me, ive never said to my self, " o pityful me, so lonely!", no, ive dealed with it without even caring but sometimes i do create fantasies about me and some girl that i feel a bit of a connection to, but rarely do anything.. But now im starting to think to my self...( i see my self as a very aware, critically thinking, smart, healthy guy) am i really dating material? Why would i have doubts? Because im so introverted and care so little about human interaction to an extent, that i have no social circle, ( nor do i really aspire to have one), have not too many friends to hang out with ( dont aspire to have much) but i do have the desire of being in an adventure and dating someone at last ( im aware of what it takes, and i dont create delusions, nor is this a plea with my self, i just want to finally go out with a girl), but i have no way if i dont have friends, or people to talk to, and dont want to either! So now there is a girl ive seen in my class, and we are strangers and theres practically no way of me talking to her or getting to know her, ( reasons not in my control) and i question my self..if i were to ask her and she says yes... what if she has some type of social circle? I would feel uncomfortable right.. So if i am too introverted to even wish to have any type of social interaction, care so little about it, and dont wish to go against it..is there any way to go anywhere? The answer would be to open up a little, but i have no real problem with how it all is right now, only that in a date i see myself having to break some barriers, and i have no big problem with that but even then, i can see my self as being a bit awkward perhaps if i were to be with her friends.. So what is my answer to being able to fit in more to the context of someone who is appropriate to date...Seems to me like the way i am, id have to aim for someone like me...and thats hard in it self to find someone like that, regardless of perceptions one might create by just looking at a person.. I LOVE my life as it is, i have some very good friends, its not like a live in a cave lol! My life is great, and i love who i am, its just that im shy and i feel no reason to change who i am to be a bit more social, but if i dont do so that would perhaps cause problems with a girl because it would get compliacted i think if she realized that i dont like talking to her friends or going out with them, and stuff like this, she could feel its me vs her friends..so id have to change and like it but its not easy..as it takes some guts to face anxiety sometimes... I dont see my self as someone who dates lots of people either, i find that ridiculous, id rather fish for someone who i think is a good match and try then, if it doesnt work, then again, but the dating game also seems to me to be a bit too wild when i hear people say.. "i had 8 mini relationships last year", or something like that.. So either i be more social and fight against some of the barriers and try. Or look for people more like me... Edited February 9, 2013 by nonrequired
CptObvious Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 I'm not reading all that. If you're unattractive, then you're not dating material. That is all.
Nik1 Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Sounds like you're doing better than practically every other guy on this site. But yeah, if you're above average-looking, smart, and actually have girls approach YOU, then you're definitely dating material, don't worry about it. However, you might not be relationship material. A relationship takes sacrifices, hell, that's pretty much all it is. If you're one of those jerks who just refuses to socialize outside their comfort zone (like me, except I'm not smart or attractive and couldn't get a girl to approach me if I had a suit made of diamonds), you're gonna have a tough time keeping a woman.
bac Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 You cannot figure out that before you try. You should try to deal with different girls and figure out what works out well for you.
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