Jump to content

Why Did He Send This Email. It Doesn't Mean Anything Does It? Thoughts Needed

Heartfail

By Heartfail
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Heartfail Member

Heartfail

Posted
Posted

This morning I wrote a very upbeat piece on here about how strong I've been this week keeping busy, re-engaging in my world and with stuff like work, re-connecting with old friends and trying to make new ones.

 

At 5.30pm this afternoon after a day spent struggling on a work assignment which I had just completed successfully, an email from him pops up in my inbox entitled Hi.

 

He is telling me he has handed in notice on his job (when we were together he found out his company was being sold and was really worried about a new job and his future) and has just been appointed a more senior position at a cooler company for more money. He ended his email with:

 

"Starting to tell work people and a few friends but thought you should know first.

Hope you have a lovely weekend planned!

Xxx"

 

Why did he have to tell me first??? He has made it quite clear he doesn't want me back he is seeing other women and I have asked him not to come to my house to see my housemates anymore as it upsets me too much.

 

So WHY is he telling me about his wonderful new job and that I should be first to know.

 

I know it doesn't mean anything does it????

 

p.s I am not having a huge melt down my positivity still stands it just ramped up the aching void a little bit....

  • Author
Heartfail Member

Heartfail

Posted
  • Author
Posted

it does feel a bit odd. He knows I am heart broken- he saw me in tears last Sunday because he had come to my house.

 

Why the need to tell me a. his life is going wonderfully and b. that it was important I should be first to hear!?

 

Will try not to dwell

 

thanks

williamshakespeare Member

williamshakespeare

Posted
Posted

Like T3H said, he's just being insensitive. Who knows whether this is deliberate or not.

 

Just keep doing No Contact.

  • Author
Heartfail Member

Heartfail

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I did respond- lots of congratulations and how wonderful's

 

He won't hear from me again though

 

I wonder if NC is making him miss me...

 

Thanks guys

meeji Established Member

meeji

Posted
Posted
it does feel a bit odd. He knows I am heart broken- he saw me in tears last Sunday because he had come to my house.

 

Why the need to tell me a. his life is going wonderfully and b. that it was important I should be first to hear!?

 

Will try not to dwell

 

thanks

Because he knew that it would drive you crazy. Looks like its working..

 

Ignore it. He's ****ing with you.

  • Like 1
mammasita Established Member

mammasita

Posted
Posted

I wouldn't have responded if it were me. He's just trying to keep his hooks in.

cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

Posted
Posted (edited)
I did respond- lots of congratulations and how wonderful's

 

He won't hear from me again though

 

I wonder if NC is making him miss me...

 

Thanks guys

 

Umm this isn't directed at you per se..others to. I keep on seeing a lot of dumpees here:

 

- post story " saying " they have started NC ...and get great advise

- Then get a email or a text.

- Wonder what it means and post.

-Then respond without even asking for advise?

- end up hurting and waiting for more reposes and start downward spiral or delay healing

- keep on doing this after stretches of NC only to ruin it again

- then wonder why they aren't getting better

 

This baffles me. I'm sure you'll be fine and will start NC again. However, with some time on this forum and experience (4 months NC) it is very clear to me now:

 

PEOPLE WHO STICK TO 100 PERCENT HARDCORE NC SEEM TO BE RECOVERING

 

PEOPLE WHO RESPOND TO COMMUNICATION OR BREAK NC SEEM TO GET SUCKED BACK IN AND END UP IN A WORLD OF HURT EVEN MONTHS LATER

 

Just my thought for today. Cav

 

I'm not saying this will be you. But i just don't think a lot of us take NC seriously enough and think they can wing it in their situation while even giving good advise to others. I guess some of need to learn the hard way.

Edited by cavalier99
  • Like 2
destroyed4sho Established Member

destroyed4sho

Posted
Posted

Heartfail- i have a similar story. During the months of LC my ex was first to contact only when something GREAT was happenig in her life. I wonder why they would want to rub it in our faces when they were the dumpees?? Do they want to hurt us more?

Or is it that they are used to us admiring them or congratulating them and they seek that positive feedback to feel good about themselves just one more time?

I think it is the latter and after they get the admiration, they just move along their merry life again.

Maybe its also just the residual of the relationship. They just are used to sharing big news and we come to mind when somethig big happens in their life because its still programmed in theite brain cells and havent fully deprogrammed it yet.

 

I feel like its a mixture of the above reasons. Dont take this as your ex wanting you back. I dont think it is that. But i would email him asking what made him want to tell me first?!

I know that would break NC but i think its worth it....?

destroyed4sho Established Member

destroyed4sho

Posted
Posted
Umm this isn't directed at you per se..others to. I keep on seeing a lot of dumpees here:

 

- post story " saying " they have started NC ...and get great advise

- Then get a email or a text.

- Wonder what it means and post.

-Then respond without even asking for advise?

- end up hurting and waiting for more reposes and start downward spiral or delay healing

- keep on doing this after stretches of NC only to ruin it again

- then wonder why they aren't getting better

 

This baffles me. I'm sure you'll be fine and will start NC again. However, with some time on this forum and experience (4 months NC) it is very clear to me now:

 

PEOPLE WHO STICK TO 100 PERCENT HARDCORE NC SEEM TO BE RECOVERING

 

 

PEOPLE WHO RESPOND TO COMMUNICATION OR BREAK NC SEEM TO GET SUCKED BACK IN AND END UP IN A WORLD OF HURT EVEN MONTHS LATER

 

Just my thought for today. Cav

 

I'm not saying this will be you. But i just don't think a lot of us take NC seriously enough and think they can wing it in their situation while even giving good advise to others. I guess some of need to learn the hard way.

 

This is sooooo true on these boards. But I personally dont know how it feels for the ex to get back to you after NC bc it hasnt happened to me yet.

In a way, i wish she would text me but on the other hand I dont want an empty text like "hi how are you?" i guess i want her to want me back and it was the BIGGEST mistake of her life...etc. Ummm yeah wont happen...! But its always a freaken hope.

 

Anyway, i am in the beginning stages of abandoning that hope and what helped me was a thread on here!! It was called "what dumpers go through". Some people wrote what they thought dumpers went thru and it made me realize that dumpers DO NOT WANT YOU BACK!! they know you want them back but reality is THEY STILL DONT WANT YOU BACK NOW AND NOT EVEN LATER. Period. They made a clear and well thought out decision to dumo you..it wasnt on a whim. So its done, pack up and go fight for yourself.

Anyway, i am not saying im totally over it and in the indifference stage but I think at least the wheels started turning a bit and I got over a hump in this grieving process. I just hope the thread will help others too.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...