billybob223 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I am very confused because i dont want to come off looking desperate but i like talking to alot of women to see what it can lead to and ask for there number but i heard talking to alot of women just makes you look desperate and seem needy is this true? because any women i find attractive or can see myself having sex with most likely i will try and start a conversation with them and build up to asking for there number and if i get rejected then i move on and try again with some else
StanMusial Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Look at it this way: There's a wrong way and a right way to go about it. Example 1, Wrong Way: In my clubbing days I had a buddy who was a total poonhound but he was also a total idiot. I saw him on more than one occasion go to a group of girl friends in a club and ask one to dance. As soon as she shot him down, he would turn to her closest friend and ask her. And so on, until the whole group was totally creeped out and ran away. Example 2, Right Way: In the same club, I would go to the friendliest-looking girl I could find and dance with her (regardless of how attractive I found her). I would chat up her and her friends and then go back to my friends or go to the bathroom or get a drink or whatever. I would then go talk to some other girls in another part of the club or outside or a the bar or whatever. I would just be social and if I came across one I liked more I would get back to her later. The point is, by doing this you had potential options without looking like a fool. I never scared the sh*t out of them by coming on too strong or lurking. And if some girl(s) didn't want to talk to me, I didn't care because I wanted someone fun anyway. Even if I didn't pull or get digits I had fun.
StanMusial Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Hahahaha Example 1 is awesome. If I ever saw anyone do that (and I have), I would give them mad props. That screams "I don't give a sh*t." Not saying it would work, but it would seem pretty boss to me. Trust me, it never worked. He would pull that sh*t quite often. He usually asked two or maybe three before the whole group would quickly relocate... he would be trailing after the fourth mumbling like a fool.
Author billybob223 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 Look at it this way: There's a wrong way and a right way to go about it. Example 1, Wrong Way: In my clubbing days I had a buddy who was a total poonhound but he was also a total idiot. I saw him on more than one occasion go to a group of girl friends in a club and ask one to dance. As soon as she shot him down, he would turn to her closest friend and ask her. And so on, until the whole group was totally creeped out and ran away. Example 2, Right Way: In the same club, I would go to the friendliest-looking girl I could find and dance with her (regardless of how attractive I found her). I would chat up her and her friends and then go back to my friends or go to the bathroom or get a drink or whatever. I would then go talk to some other girls in another part of the club or outside or a the bar or whatever. I would just be social and if I came across one I liked more I would get back to her later. The point is, by doing this you had potential options without looking like a fool. I never scared the sh*t out of them by coming on too strong or lurking. And if some girl(s) didn't want to talk to me, I didn't care because I wanted someone fun anyway. Even if I didn't pull or get digits I had fun. i always come across example 1 because women are usually in groups and i asked the one i like for her number and if they make up an excuse i ask the others girls in the group sometimes i get the girls number but not alyways so this is a sighn of desperation? Also you said you just have conversations with women and then leave without asking for the number how does that work why not just ask for it right thin and there because what if you dont see her again?
pteromom Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 In my clubbing days I had a buddy who was a total poonhound but he was also a total idiot. I saw him on more than one occasion go to a group of girl friends in a club and ask one to dance. As soon as she shot him down, he would turn to her closest friend and ask her. And so on, until the whole group was totally creeped out and ran away. This is line with what I was gonna say. It's not desperate at all to talk to a bunch of women. It's bettering your odds. But you want to make sure you aren't asking for numbers from multiple women from one group or who know each other, or yes, it comes across as desperate and like you have absolutely no standards - you just try to pick up everyone you see.
LovesHangover Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 There will always be people there to offer advice on how you should conduct your life. Believe in and trust yourself. You have everything you need to think and conduct your life in a manner that works for you. You can't live to please other people, and truly how you choose to get to know/date women is no one else's business. This is advice from someone who has lived the pain of listening to the opinion of others well-meaning or not. P They'll be gone living their lives as they choose and you'll be the one responsible for the result whether you like it or not. Now, I have one rule: As long as I align my actions with my principles/values and I'm not blatantly seeking to harm others, I will do what is in my heart/mind to do. Create your own rules. All the best to you.
StanMusial Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 i always come across example 1 because women are usually in groups and i asked the one i like for her number and if they make up an excuse i ask the others girls in the group sometimes i get the girls number but not alyways so this is a sighn of desperation? Also you said you just have conversations with women and then leave without asking for the number how does that work why not just ask for it right thin and there because what if you dont see her again? Dude, think about it... these girls have just watched you crash and burn... that is NOT a good look! You may or may not see the girl again. I have chatted up a girl at a bar and then left to go to another place to dance. An hour later, SHE found ME on the dance floor and we danced for hours and I got her number at the end of the night. She actually cut in on another girl I was dancing with - who later hooked up with my friend. It's called MINGLING. If you talk to a girl(s), then walk off, she has a chance to process you. You're not all up in her grill. And you CHOSE to walk off... take it or leave it sort of scenario. See how that comes off as non-desperate?
GravityMan Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Socializing with plenty of women (without any predefined expectations or agenda) is normal, natural human behavior. It would be a bit odd to purposely avoid doing that. There are better ways to tell if a guy is desperate, and it's usually easy for most others to intuitively sense the guy's desperation. StanMusial's friend in his first example was a good and amusing example of this.
JMCOSU838 Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 There will always be people there to offer advice on how you should conduct your life. Believe in and trust yourself. You have everything you need to think and conduct your life in a manner that works for you. You can't live to please other people, and truly how you choose to get to know/date women is no one else's business. This is advice from someone who has lived the pain of listening to the opinion of others well-meaning or not. P They'll be gone living their lives as they choose and you'll be the one responsible for the result whether you like it or not. Now, I have one rule: As long as I align my actions with my principles/values and I'm not blatantly seeking to harm others, I will do what is in my heart/mind to do. Create your own rules. All the best to you. Are you suggesting that a person cannot learn anything from another person?
StanMusial Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 (without any predefined expectations or agenda) Exactly. I get the impression some of these guys see a pretty girl and want to go from strangers to bf/gf immediately. It doesn't work that way. Damn I'd like to help but some of you fellas are stuck on 0. You gotta get it moving before you can get up to the speed limit.
Author billybob223 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 Dude, think about it... these girls have just watched you crash and burn... that is NOT a good look! You may or may not see the girl again. I have chatted up a girl at a bar and then left to go to another place to dance. An hour later, SHE found ME on the dance floor and we danced for hours and I got her number at the end of the night. She actually cut in on another girl I was dancing with - who later hooked up with my friend. It's called MINGLING. If you talk to a girl(s), then walk off, she has a chance to process you. You're not all up in her grill. And you CHOSE to walk off... take it or leave it sort of scenario. See how that comes off as non-desperate? I am not to sure but this idea makes no sense if you are chattin up a girl and she seems intrested why would you walk away without asking for a number she may be thinking you are not intrested and i doubt all girls are going to chase a guy if he walks away without asking for a number but i guess everyone is diffrent
StanMusial Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 I am not to sure but this idea makes no sense if you are chattin up a girl and she seems intrested why would you walk away without asking for a number she may be thinking you are not intrested and i doubt all girls are going to chase a guy if he walks away without asking for a number but i guess everyone is diffrent I was explaining how talking to multiple women could or could not be considered desperate. Isn't that the topic of the thread? I gave examples from my own experience to illustrate my points. That's not going to happen that way every single time. If you are chatting up a girl and feel a connection and want her number, by all means ask her for it.
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