Zorax Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Hey guys, So my girlfriend and best friend just broke up with me. It's been 2 weeks and it's been so confusing. We've been best friends for 2 years before we actually started dating. I set her up with her then boyfriend and friend of mine and she helped me get through some problems with my then girlfriend. We were really close and our respective partners were always trying to get us away from each other. In fact everyone thought we were dating, it was a great friendship. Then last year we both broke up with our partners and just a few weeks later started dating. It was an amazing relationship, we could literally talk about anything all day long and we couldn't stay away from each other.* I had many problems with my family since they didn't agree on my choice of girlfriend since we were from 2 different cultures (i'm black she's Korean) and had to give up a lot for her. But I didn't care then so I just went along with it. However after she came back from Korea after 2 months in the summer she started having doubts about our relationship, she was going off to university and I was in a gap year. So she ended it. But two days later we got back together and she apologised for her mistake. After that I started being more loving and considerate and try to make her happy in any way I could. Not that I never did that of course, I just tried to go that extra mile.* Took her to expensive dates and took her to places she always wished she could go.* Comes January only a few weeks before our anniversary and she just tells me she doesn't love me anymore but that she still wants me to be there for her as her best friend. And in the end I ended up comforting her while she cried as she broke up with me...* Two weeks after the whole thing and we still act as if we were best friends and every time I try and mention the whole break up situation she just gets sad and sometimes cries...which puts me off pressing on the matter.* Weird thing is we still have sex..which *I know it's bad and we still go out together as friends...but I'm confused. I tried breaking off contact but after 2 days I couldn't take it anymore. She was the only friend I had and without her I feel lost. We talk constantly and the thought of not having that kind of depresses me sometimes.* What I'm asking is...what should I do? She still wants me to be there for her and I still want her to be there in my life but it's so hard to just let go of someone you've known for so long! And what shocked me is how quickly everything changed. Just on Christmas day she was telling me how much she loved me and couldn't see herself with anyone else and only 2 weeks later tells me the exact opposite...what's wrong with her? And to make it worse she still comes down from university every weekend to visit me and she ditches her friends for me. So what the hell is going on in her mind?
H3Drvr Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 IF (and BIG IF) you can handle her sleeping with other guys while you become her platonic friend, it could work. Otherwise, you might have to cut her loose for a little while to get rid of the romantic feelings. I myself wouldn't be able to do that with my ex...hence, I've been NC for the past month and half.
Decisive Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Depends on what you want the outcome to be. If you want her back in your life - you must walk and have zero contact. This does two things: 1 - it allows you the opportunity to start to get on with your life. 2 - it provides space, time for reflcection (both for what you want, and what she really wants) and time for doubt (meaning her - "did I make the right choice?") If you're always available to her, she has the best of both worlds. Care more for yourself and give her enough space to feel like she's on the shuttle.
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