xxoo Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 it is not difficult at all. you just ask her on dates. that is ALL you need to do really the first few dates. After sex yeah you need to step it up. Sex comes before normal bf/gf behavior? 6
Krieger Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 so will this be clingy? If I went on a date with a girl and it went great .the next day I send her a text saying I had a great time and look forward to seeing you again. then call her in 2 to 3 day to set up another date. is that clingy?
SJC2008 Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Then you have never experienced high mutual chemistry. Well I guess not:(
Keenly Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 I find this problem to be uncommon, yet common at the same time. Certain women get repulsed when men are actually interested in them. It's quite the phenomenon. 3
Author starla33 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 so will this be clingy? If I went on a date with a girl and it went great .the next day I send her a text saying I had a great time and look forward to seeing you again. then call her in 2 to 3 day to set up another date. is that clingy? NO that is not clingy. You are not getting that I didn't respond to most of his text yet he kept texting me 1
callingyouuu Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Just let it go natural, that is how you play the "game". This is an oxymoron, IMO. Games inherently imply a set of manufactured rules that turn dating into something that's not "natural." The guy in this scenario was interested in the OP, so he asked her good morning and how she was doing the following morning. To me, THAT'S natural. 1
Green Light Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 5 years from now the OP will be back here asking: "where are all the nice guys"? 4
Ruby Slippers Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Your reaction to two text messages screams 'nutjob'. I think you have a serious emotional problem that you need to deal with. This isn't clingy behavior at all. His display of interest turns you off. You are literally looking for a guy who doesn't like you much. Why? Absolutely. The OP's taste in men tells you everything about what wavelength she's on. All that cynical, sticky, icky goo is all over the place! Sex comes before normal bf/gf behavior? *sigh* More evidence of an empire in decline. Decadence, emotional detachment, coldness, a flame dying out. I find this problem to be uncommon, yet common at the same time. Certain women get repulsed when men are actually interested in them. It's quite the phenomenon. Evidence of a self-loathing, self-destructive cultural influence, IMO. 5 years from now the OP will be back here asking: "where are all the nice guys"? Exactly.
PhillyDude Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 I do believe that once u send a text you don't send another one until the person responds back Sending more than one text before the person responded back is a little.......................DESPERATE/NEEDY 2
Author starla33 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 I do believe that once u send a text you don't send another one until the person responds back Sending more than one text before the person responded back is a little.......................DESPERATE/NEEDY Exactly this. I don't get why people on here don't get that?
kaylan Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Exactly this. I don't get why people on here don't get that? Have fun whining about dudes taking hours to get back to you. God forbid you actually accept that the guy isnt the problem in this situation and that maybe its you. 1
Estate Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Look, it's already been said... But yeah... maybe he was a little too forward but it doesn't sound like he was psycho, just eager. If the OP was really attracted to the guy she'd probably get his texts and smile. As it is she's getting his texts, rolling her eyes and posting on here, so bottom line, she's just not interested. 3
Casablanca Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 This is an oxymoron, IMO. Games inherently imply a set of manufactured rules that turn dating into something that's not "natural." The guy in this scenario was interested in the OP, so he asked her good morning and how she was doing the following morning. To me, THAT'S natural. There is a reason I put "games" in quotation marks, it is a loose, very loose label of it The guy in the scenario continued to text her before she responded, to me that isn't natural. That comes off as a little desperate. If I send a text to initiate a conversation or something and they don't respond, they wont hear from me again unless it is someone I'm already in a relationship with. 1
xxoo Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 I do believe that once u send a text you don't send another one until the person responds back Sending more than one text before the person responded back is a little.......................DESPERATE/NEEDY You know, if I were giving advice to the sender, I agree. I'd say that probably isn't a great idea--especially if the text sender were having dating struggles. I'd advise the sender cool his/her heels and wait for returned interest. But the OP is the text receiver, not the sender. And she does have dating struggles. And so the advice is different. The advice is to think about it for a moment. Does the behavior truly indicate desperation? Or does it indicate interest? And haven't you been searching for interest? Well, here it is. How does it feel? Is it a turn off? If so, why? Why is your interest so high when their interest is low, and your interest so low when this guy's interest is high? And why would you expect high contact after sex, but not before? 1
PhillyDude Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Exactly this. I don't get why people on here don't get that? I fully understand that, same thing with a phone call. If you call today and the person hasn't responded by 10pm tonight you don't call again. lol No form of CMM should be used more than once in the same day
PhillyDude Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 You know, if I were giving advice to the sender, I agree. I'd say that probably isn't a great idea--especially if the text sender were having dating struggles. I'd advise the sender cool his/her heels and wait for returned interest. But the OP is the text receiver, not the sender. And she does have dating struggles. And so the advice is different. The advice is to think about it for a moment. Does the behavior truly indicate desperation? Or does it indicate interest? And haven't you been searching for interest? Well, here it is. How does it feel? Is it a turn off? If so, why? Why is your interest so high when their interest is low, and your interest so low when this guy's interest is high? And why would you expect high contact after sex, but not before? Sign of Interest..........one text Sign of Desperate..........more than one text before the person responds 2
callingyouuu Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 If I send a text to initiate a conversation or something and they don't respond, they wont hear from me again unless it is someone I'm already in a relationship with. Sure, and that's your privilege. I know many people in that guy's shoes who would probably do the same thing you described. That said, what he did was still a country mile away from being labeled desperate and a total failure as a few in this thread are trying to say.
kaylan Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 PhillyDude...personally I dont think youre in any position to judge what is or isnt normal behavior in dating. Everyone can see that from the threads you create and how you communicate with women. I think you and starla should go on a date. 1
callingyouuu Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Sign of Interest..........one text Sign of Desperate..........more than one text before the person responds The thing that still gets me is how, in this world you're describing, the difference between a future significant other and someone you kick to the curb after the first date is a single 5-cent text.
PhillyDude Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 PhillyDude...personally I dont think youre in any position to judge what is or isnt normal behavior in dating. Everyone can see that from the threads you create and how you communicate with women. I think you and starla should go on a date. How bout me and you date?
xxoo Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 The thing that still gets me is how, in this world you're describing, the difference between a future significant other and someone you kick to the curb after the first date is a single 5-cent text. And that fine if you have no problem finding interested suitors. But when you have a very hard time finding anyone interested in a relationship beyond sex, and now here is someone actually interested....assuming "desperate" instead "excited" is telling. Maybe this guy is desperate. But you'd have to know him better to know for sure.
Casablanca Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Hear hear! I too do not want the young males reading this to think that they should act like game playing aloof jerks to get a second date. I ONLY committed to my current partner BECAUSE he was very forthright with his feeling and wanting a relationships. A couple of relationships with emotionally unavailable men will get her to appreciate the open & honest ones. So you wouldnt be put off if a guy sent you three, four, five, etc texts before you responded to the first one?
SmileFace Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 I fully understand that, same thing with a phone call. If you call today and the person hasn't responded by 10pm tonight you don't call again. lol No form of CMM should be used more than once in the same day Match mad in hell as I see it
PhillyDude Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Match mad in hell as I see it I sent a girl I like a text message about 40 mins ago and she has not replied back yet. Now why would I send another one without giving her a chance to respond to the last one???
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