Author starla33 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 And how much contact in between those dates is acceptable to you? i can't say. it depends on if its witty banter texts or something interesting you have to say. Every few days is good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author starla33 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 What are the texts he sent to you exactly and what were you replies? here you go i've shortened them, but you get the drift him: had a great night can't wait to do it again me: for sure him: goodnight, sweet dreams! him: (morning of next day) him: goodmorning him: how is your day going? me: busy with homework etc...you? him: just working. him: hey you. how was your day?(this one was in the eve...because I didn't just tell him how my day was 2 hours ago?!) Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 When I really like a guy, I welcome lots of contact. In fact, lack of contact makes me lose interest. But when my interest is low...I am like what OP describes. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 here you go i've shortened them, but you get the drift him: had a great night can't wait to do it again me: for sure him: goodnight, sweet dreams! him: (morning of next day) him: goodmorning him: how is your day going? me: busy with homework etc...you? him: just working. him: hey you. how was your day?(this one was in the eve...because I didn't just tell him how my day was 2 hours ago?!) I don't find it clingy actually. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Author starla33 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 I wouldn't say that's clingy, but I definitely wouldn't be messaging you that much since you don't seem interested at all. I do think you're getting off on the attention though. actually i'm not. it makes me depressed that I can't meet a guy that will act normal and not send me running for the hills. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 actually i'm not. it makes me depressed that I can't meet a guy that will act normal and not send me running for the hills. This is your problem and not his. It should make you said that you run to the hills when you find a normal guy. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author starla33 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 This is your problem and not his. It should make you said that you run to the hills when you find a normal guy. truth. he did mention that a lot of girls say he is "too nice". I didn't see it in person....but ah now I know why. Guess I should tell him it's not the too nice thing... Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Two texts after the date, a good morning and two how's your day? texts the day after. COME ON YALL! This was a first date for cryin outs! If I was her I'd be expecting a "What's your ring size?" text next. Guy jumped in head first, end of story. About a year ago had a simar situation. We hadn't even set up a second date and she was really stsrting to text a lot. "At the DMV..." a couple hours later "Ugh, stil here". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
neveragain34 Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 I can relate; going through the same thing! The fact is, you don't like him and anything he does will only irritate you more. If you did like him, you'd be excited to get the next text. It's that simple. Just be honest and tell him you're not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Men, please don't take this thread as any kind of guideline for how to behave with a girl you like. OP, you obviously aren't into this guy at all. If a few friendly texts send you "running for the hills"... that's just... kinda messed up and sad. But a quick search on your threads reveals that you seem to prefer players and FWBs, so it makes sense. Also, I notice a pattern in your posts of blaming and shaming men for stupid things. You might want to focus a bit more on your own behavior, as it's the only thing you have any control over. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
callingyouuu Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Two texts after the date, a good morning and two how's your day? texts the day after. COME ON YALL! This was a first date for cryin outs! If I was her I'd be expecting a "What's your ring size?" text next. Guy jumped in head first, end of story. ......what?! When I propose to my future wife, I'll make sure to start off the conversation this way so she knows it's coming. I honestly feel like these sorts of opinions are actively keeping the PUA scene alive and kicking. Neg-ing... pretending you have somewhere to be when you actually don't... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 ......what?! When I propose to my future wife, I'll make sure to start off the conversation this way so she knows it's coming. I honestly feel like these sorts of opinions are actively keeping the PUA scene alive and kicking. Neg-ing... pretending you have somewhere to be when you actually don't... This is one of the saddest threads I've read here in a while. Here's a guy being genuine and kind to a girl he likes, and not only does the girl not even appreciate the attention of this guy, she's actually made a thread to insult him about it. What about at least being appreciative that someone likes you and cares enough to ask how your day was? They're TEXT MESSAGES. If you don't like them, don't reply. OP throws out "clingy", "biggest fail ever", "psycho" !!!, "freaked out", "nonstop text" , "screams desperate". Your behavior here is the epitome of ungrateful and undeserving. You seriously need to check your ego. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 This forum never ceases to amaze me! OP that's way too much contact after a 1st date and everyone here knows it. They're just picking on you because of you choice in men. Hell I'm waiting for one of them to jump me and say "Oh you're just sticking up for a woman so we don't think you're bitter" lol. I'm gonna text the next woman I date just like this and I'll see if I get a second date! Link to post Share on other sites
callingyouuu Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 This forum never ceases to amaze me! OP that's way too much contact after a 1st date and everyone here knows it. Umm, there are like 7 pages of this thread that speak to the contrary. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Umm, there are like 7 pages of this thread that speak to the contrary. Yes and to the contrary because they don't like her because of her choice in men. There's absoloutely no need for that much contact after a first date. I'll say it till I'm blue in the face. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Yes and to the contrary because they don't like her because of her choice in men. There's absoloutely no need for that much contact after a first date. I'll say it till I'm blue in the face. Then you have never experienced high mutual chemistry. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr_Flay Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 There's absoloutely no need for that much contact after a first date. I'll say it till I'm blue in the face. There's no such thing as "too much contact" between people who genuinely like one another. If one person believes the other person is giving them too much attention, there simply isn't enough attraction in the first place, and it's a bad match. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Yes and to the contrary because they don't like her because of her choice in men. There's absoloutely no need for that much contact after a first date. I'll say it till I'm blue in the face. I'm the one who went back and checked her posting history because I remembered the "no sleeping over" story. To be completely honest I didn't find this guy to be "clingy" but even moreso after seeing the actual texts. He's just nice and she responded to him reciprocating his question too. If I were a guy I would register interest. Now if you look back at her posting history, the first available thread (and I think two subsequent one's after, I stopped poking around after that) is all about how she's dating this guy who takes 3-4 hours to respond to her texts and how much that upsets her. Pot, meet kettle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AlexDP Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 so is it the fact that i like jerks kicking in or is this guy REALLY over doing it? I went on a date and was totally going to see this guy again, but he will not stop texting me the day after our first date (today). He texted me goodmorning......then something else and asked how my day is going. I ignored a text in between there and he kept going. This is too much for me after a first date and is more relationship like. Biggest fail ever. I got a lot of texts from my girlfriend in the beginning of our relationship. And I mean A LOT. But what's wrong with that? I'm not much of a text person to begin with so I don't send much. She obviously liked me, because she wanted to talk to me. I took it as a huge compliment and we had nice and fun conversations. Your problem is that you just don't like this guy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RachR Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 (edited) I'm going to also say I think you just don't have much interest in this man very much in the first place. There is a man that has been sending me random nice texts recently, saying he hopes I have a good weekend, etc. I don't like it because I can tell he's interested and I don't have interest. (However, unlike your situation, we haven't gone on one date and I haven't shown romantic interest at all.) Myself, I just simply reply, "Thanks, you too!" keeping things neutral and go on with my day. But if the person I'm currently adoring did that? I would be over the moon. Edited February 9, 2013 by RachR 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 This can only be seen as clingy if at the end of the date you told him not to contact you and you are not interested. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Casablanca Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 The only thing that worries me is that she didn't respond to one of them, but he kept sending them Early in the game, that is a no no in my opinion. Also as a guy I tend to follow the girl's lead for communication, if she wants small conversations each day, I can manage that, if not I'll send a text or two about something random that relates to her or a conversation we had, until more dates have happened. The more dates, the more communication. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Casablanca Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 It does. There's that unsure time between the first few dates and actually being a couple that is very difficult to navigate. Contact her too much and boom, you're out of there because you're too clingy. Contact too little? You obviously don't want to see her again and aren't interested (in her mind). It's too difficult. It isn't difficult, you just have to know how to play the "game". Follow her lead. If she doesnt seem to want long text conversations, don't worry about them, but I'd suggest a text or two day to something relating to. A call once in a while to say hey and set up date plans, etc. Just let it go natural, that is how you play the "game". When you force a fart, you can end up ****ting yourself...same thing here. A text a day won't be too much for anyone, and if you're asking her out on another date, she knows you're interested. Yes after the first couple dates is when the scariest part in dating happens because there is so much unknown, but just go with the flow and it will more than likely be fine if both parties are mutually interested Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 It's called common sense that you do not overwhelm people you just met. Or am I wrong here? I think you are wrong. Since you never answered my question from the first page, DID YOU EVER TELL HIM it was too much? It is not "common sense" and there is no way to know he is overwhelming you if you do not communicate that to him. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 so is it the fact that i like jerks kicking in or is this guy REALLY over doing it? I went on a date and was totally going to see this guy again, but he will not stop texting me the day after our first date (today). He texted me goodmorning......then something else and asked how my day is going. I ignored a text in between there and he kept going. This is too much for me after a first date and is more relationship like. Biggest fail ever. Your reaction to two text messages screams 'nutjob'. I think you have a serious emotional problem that you need to deal with. This isn't clingy behavior at all. His display of interest turns you off. You are literally looking for a guy who doesn't like you much. Why? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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