Ninjainpajamas Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I think he's being overzealous with his interest if he's sending all these texts to the point he's bombarding her and its not even being reciprocated. After just one date, unless they were intimate or experienced some high level of chemistry and connection I really don't see where you guys are coming off thinking he's just interested. This sounds a bit much. It also however seems like you don't have a high level of interest and being turned off by his behavior which is understandable to at least myself...I also believe this guy can insecure not just highly interested...some people panic or get anxiety when they dobt feel in control of a situation but once they have the girl and ego boost they can move right along. At any rate, you can try dropping him a hint about the over communication or say that you're busy but look forward to the next date then determine whether you want to continue seeing him...I'm sure if he was hot and all your dreams come true you'd feel flattered however its up to you if you want to give this a "chance" as I know a lot of women like to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Necris Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 You just don't like him. I'm pretty sure this is what it is, if she was into him like he is into her then this thread would have never been created. Now if he was sending hundreds of texts then I can see how that would get annoying, but simple things like good morning? That's not crazy, that's normal, if I went on a date with a girl and she actually said good morning the next day I'd love that. Now OP if you actually are interested and this is annoying you I recommend telling him. Link to post Share on other sites
AH1990 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Agreed. Hopefully, this doesn't happen to this guy too much. He might go into a tailspan and become a jerk himself. If that's the case in the future, he'd have a shot with the OP. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 some people panic or get anxiety when they dobt feel in control of a situation but once they have the girl and ego boost they can move right along. Yes, this is very possible. I had a similar experience in the past. Constant texting, that early on, may feel like someone is coming on very strong. But, people will tell you/convince you that he's just really interested, a good guy, etc. It's hard to tell. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AH1990 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Yes, this is very possible. I had a similar experience in the past. Constant texting, that early on, may feel like someone is coming on very strong. But, people will tell you/convince you that he's just really interested, a good guy, etc. It's hard to tell. Hard to see through the bull$hit and fake image that some people put on. If i'm interested in a girl, i'd give her the benefit of the doubt and continue with dating. Until she proves me wrong, I have no reason to think shes going over the top. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 so is it the fact that i like jerks kicking in or is this guy REALLY over doing it? I went on a date and was totally going to see this guy again, but he will not stop texting me the day after our first date (today). He texted me goodmorning......then something else and asked how my day is going. I ignored a text in between there and he kept going. This is too much for me after a first date and is more relationship like. Biggest fail ever. 3 texts gentlemen. 3! 2 she responded to, 1 she didn't. Bombarding? Holy Cripes, collections agents call me more frequently with no response! That's bombardment. "biggest fail ever!?" Starla - I don't call out posters very often on their histories but really? Ever? Click on your own name and see the threads you've started since 2011. Everything from: doesn't want a relationship, lots of early sexual remarks, one guy harassing you at work, to a guy you slept with the wouldn't let you stay over in his bed at 2 am and then guilt-tripped you about it! Come on! Really, just, come on! THIS is the "Psycho" you are scared of? WTF? Get some IC. Seriously. Work out your selection issues and just figure out why 3 texts from a guy you were going to go on date 2 with needs THAT MUCH "processing." and why you end up with these utter douchebags as a preference instead. :FACE: :PALM: 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 If i'm interested in a girl, i'd give her the benefit of the doubt and continue with dating. Until she proves me wrong, I have no reason to think shes going over the top. Oh, I agree. The constant texting didn't and wouldn't deter me if I was interested. It can still feel a bit buttery though, right after a first date. Link to post Share on other sites
Necris Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 3 texts gentlemen. 3! 2 she responded to, 1 she didn't. Bombarding? Yeah I go with she really isn't interested. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I dont see the problem OP. Usually when a girl and I really liked each other...we will text as normal convo dictates. You obviously dont like this guy. Dont shame him by calling him clingy though. Hes not clingy...youre just not interested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Drseussgrrl Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Oh please. I really HATE getting the "Are you ignoring me?" text. That IS needy. No, dude, maybe I'm just at work! Simma down! There is a delicate balance esp in the beginning of a relationship. A back and forth. I don't like to be in daily contact with the dude I'm dating until we're building a relationship exclusively. Just my style. OP I get where you're coming from and I agree that a dude bein' all up your butt that soon after a first date is somewhat of a turnoff also. I like to be left wanting just a bit more. The anticipation is quite an aphrodisiac. And no this does NOT mean that I like jerks! The guy I'm currently dating is SUPER sweet, asks me out on dates IN ADVANCE, and generous with the compliments. A real gentleman. And no he ain't blowing up my phone first thing in the morning. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 starla, it seems like you are drawn to drama. And when there is no drama, you create some. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 You just don't like him. Exactly. And again, I hope men don't take this as a signal to be cool with contact. Nothing makes me lose interest in a guy faster than him being aloof. If she really liked this guy, she'd be happy about the contact. She's clearly not that into him if she's calling him clingy for sending a handful of texts. "Biggest fair ever"??? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
camillalev Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 He asked you how you're day is going via a text message and you think the's being clingy? Sounds like a nice guy to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I'm going to guess this is the type of girl that will be completely cool with a guy to his face and then talk a bunch of smack and complain about him to her friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Light Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Isn't this the girl who was going to break up with her FWB because he didn't want to do it with her while she was on her period? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 He sounds sweet... send him my way! lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author starla33 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 This guy that is being so clingy deserves to get dumped. He has no game. I don't blame the OP. I get clingyness from this. Come on, who in their right mind after a first date would text so much? He just texted again...asking how my day is going for the 2nd time today. I'm sorry, but this has killed all interest I had in this person. I would love these types of things after I'm dating someone and we are sleeping together, but after a first date?! Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 I get clingyness from this. Come on, who in their right mind after a first date would text so much? He just texted again...asking how my day is going for the 2nd time today. I'm sorry, but this has killed all interest I had in this person. I would love these types of things after I'm dating someone and we are sleeping together, but after a first date?! You forfeit all right to complain about there not being any good men. Link to post Share on other sites
Author starla33 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 You forfeit all right to complain about there not being any good men. It's called common sense that you do not overwhelm people you just met. Or am I wrong here? Link to post Share on other sites
Archgirl Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Oh please. I really HATE getting the "Are you ignoring me?" text. That IS needy. No, dude, maybe I'm just at work! Simma down! There is a delicate balance esp in the beginning of a relationship. A back and forth. I don't like to be in daily contact with the dude I'm dating until we're building a relationship exclusively. Just my style. OP I get where you're coming from and I agree that a dude bein' all up your butt that soon after a first date is somewhat of a turnoff also. I like to be left wanting just a bit more. The anticipation is quite an aphrodisiac. And no this does NOT mean that I like jerks! The guy I'm currently dating is SUPER sweet, asks me out on dates IN ADVANCE, and generous with the compliments. A real gentleman. And no he ain't blowing up my phone first thing in the morning. Yeah I'm with you on this. I was with everyone else and thinking op was being waay too harsh...until I saw the "are you ignoring me?" text. Honestly peoples, how are you supposed respond to that?: "well I wasn't until you handed me your self esteem all warm and jiggly on a plate but i'm sure as hell going to now!" ? Thats a lot of pressure for validation after one date isn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 I agree with the OP! He's coming in too strong, especially after a first date. As much as I hate daing rules, some of them are good IMO. Ones like it's best not to call/text the next day after first date is the most universal rule in dating. Too much contact early on is a killer! I don't mind if a woman sends a text the same night of the date or next day but please don't start salvoing messages like we're already in a r and we haven't even SET UP a second date. OP I promise if I made a thread here "Didn't get 2nd date" and said I texted like your guy I would if been told I came on way too strong and came off as clingy/needy. Wait a day.... But you got tarred and feathered because you said you like jerks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author starla33 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 I agree with the OP! He's coming in too strong, especially after a first date. As much as I hate daing rules, some of them are good IMO. Ones like it's best not to call/text the next day after first date is the most universal rule in dating. Too much contact early on is a killer! I don't mind if a woman sends a text the same night of the date or next day but please don't start salvoing messages like we're already in a r and we haven't even SET UP a second date. OP I promise if I made a thread here "Didn't get 2nd date" and said I texted like your guy I would if been told I came on way too strong and came off as clingy/needy. Wait a day.... But you got tarred and feathered because you said you like jerks. I really don't like jerks, was just wondering if I was over reacting....honestly I really LOVE A text the next day saying the guy had a great time and wants to do it again, but that is ENOUGH. Asking about my day twice the day after our first date?! Wow I barely know you I don't think I want to tell you about my day! Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 (edited) I get clingyness from this. Come on, who in their right mind after a first date would text so much? He just texted again...asking how my day is going for the 2nd time today. I'm sorry, but this has killed all interest I had in this person. I would love these types of things after I'm dating someone and we are sleeping together, but after a first date?! People who like and click with each other do. Go ahead and let bad dudes use you for sex I dont normally lash out at people, but this thread is freaking stupid. Youre shaming a guy for daring to like you and daring to communicate with you? Next time you really like a guy, and he barely talks to you after your date, remember how you talked about this fellow in this thread. Im so glad I know how to spot women like you at my age. I know which girls to avoid when seeking a woman to treat well. Lord knows I wouldnt want to be nice to someone and have them crap talk me online for the littlest thing. Edited February 9, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author starla33 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 (edited) People who like and click with each other do. Go ahead and let bad dudes use you for sex I dont normally lash out at people, but this thread is freaking stupid. Youre shaming a guy for daring to like you and daring to communicate with you? Next time you really like a guy, and he barely talks to you after your date, remember how you talked about this fellow in this thread. Im so glad I know how to spot women like you at my age. I know which girls to avoid when seeking a woman to treat well. Lord knows I wouldnt want to be nice to someone and have them crap talk me online for the littlest thing. Haha wow rude much? I don't like clingy that freaks me out and brings me back to his ex he talked about on the date and how psycho she sounded(made him send pictures of where he was at because she didn't trust men). Yet he stayed with her for years....it all makes sense to me now. Tell me what NORMAL guy would stay with this? I mean I would have let that fact go if he didn't go clingy texting....but now it all makes sense to me. Edited February 9, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 PS - asking someone how their day is, is RUN OF THE MILL convo. Perfect strangers have asked someone that when getting to know them....even in *gasp* FIRST TIME CONVERSATIONS. And youre whining because he asked after a date? Just know, if you whine about any guys in the future, Im soooo not letting you live down this thread. This is the one time youll really see me stick up for the "nice guy". I never do that on LS...so people can really tell something is off with this thre 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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