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seems clingy after first date


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Posted (edited)

so is it the fact that i like jerks kicking in or is this guy REALLY over doing it? I went on a date and was totally going to see this guy again, but he will not stop texting me the day after our first date (today).

 

He texted me goodmorning......then something else and asked how my day is going. I ignored a text in between there and he kept going.

 

This is too much for me after a first date and is more relationship like. Biggest fail ever.

Edited by starla33
  • Author
Posted
You have your answer. Go date your jerks.

 

Oh come on there is also a fine line between nice and psycho...

  • Like 1
Posted
so is it the fact that i like jerks kicking in or is this guy REALLY over doing it? I went on a date and was totally going to see this guy again, but he will not stop texting me the day after our first date (today).

 

He texted me goodmorning......then something else and asked how my day is going. I ignored a text in between there and he kept going.

 

This is too much for me after a first date and is more relationship like. Biggest fail ever.

 

In my opinion he seems interested. At least he's contacting you and asking about your day. Didn't realize that there is a certain set of rules after the first date. Me personally, If I'm still interested in a girl after the first date, i'll shoot her a text here and there, maybe something witty or at least a text to spark an emotion in her.

 

You could maybe try responding to him and see where it goes. Unless you'd rather try dating a guy that only sends you texts at 2am and doesn't bother to ask about how you're doing.

  • Like 4
Posted

Did he boil your rabbit or invite you to meet his mother?

 

Jeez. Doesn't sound psycho to me.

  • Like 4
  • Author
Posted
In my opinion he seems interested. At least he's contacting you and asking about your day. Didn't realize that there is a certain set of rules after the first date. Me personally, If I'm still interested in a girl after the first date, i'll shoot her a text here and there, maybe something witty or at least a text to spark an emotion in her.

 

You could maybe try responding to him and see where it goes. Unless you'd rather try dating a guy that only sends you texts at 2am and doesn't bother to ask about how you're doing.

 

These are not witty banter texts. I just saw you for the first time last night give me time to process. Goodmorning and going on and on and asking about my day is a bit much after a first date to be honest. Especially if you were texting me goodnight....etc the night before and i barely said anything to it.

Posted

God forbid he actually likes you and wants to talk to you. HP fond some who will treat you like garbage of that's what you want.

  • Like 5
Posted

Sounds like he has high interest and you have low.

 

If I go on a date with a guy and really like him, I like a lot of texts and contact afterward.

 

I'm saying this so men will see that not all women like aloofness.

  • Like 9
Posted

Yeah, OP you just don't like him that much. It's fine, not a big deal. You're not a monster or anything. Just go find someone you like more.

  • Author
Posted
Yeah, OP you just don't like him that much. It's fine, not a big deal. You're not a monster or anything. Just go find someone you like more.

 

after one date all I can tell is if I would want to see someone again or not. Which I did....but now I'm a little freaked out

Posted
after one date all I can tell is if I would want to see someone again or not. Which I did....but now I'm a little freaked out

 

Would you be freaked out if your friends texted you with just as much frequency?

Posted
after one date all I can tell is if I would want to see someone again or not. Which I did....but now I'm a little freaked out

 

If you were wanting to see him again before a few text messages, then I don't know that you should write him off yet. I get what you are saying about the clinginess, but maybe he is just excited about meeting you. It isn't such a hardship to find a guy who really likes you. Texting has made dating so complicated. It's such an immediate gratification thing. I mean, without it you know he wouldn't have called you three times today.

  • Author
Posted
Would you be freaked out if your friends texted you with just as much frequency?

 

That is SO different. I actually KNOW my friends.

Posted

Here's the thing:

I ignored a text in between there and he kept going.

 

Because of this:

This is too much for me after a first date and is more relationship like.

 

For YOU, it is this:

Biggest fail ever.

 

 

But....

 

and here's the clincher

 

Have you - in any way - communicated to the guy that it is too much and a fail?

 

After one date, no one can read your mind. Why not TELL HIM it is too much? He might be the perfect one if he dials it back a bit but how can it be a fail on a person's part if they don't know?

  • Like 3
Posted
That is SO different. I actually KNOW my friends.

 

Well, perhaps he feels more comfortable with you than you do with him at this stage.

  • Author
Posted
Well, perhaps he feels more comfortable with you than you do with him at this stage.

 

At this stage?! LoL would you nonstop text someone you met for 3 hours? I mean really?

Posted
Sounds like he has high interest and you have low.

 

If I go on a date with a guy and really like him, I like a lot of texts and contact afterward.

 

I'm saying this so men will see that not all women like aloofness.

 

Agreed x 10003.

 

The last girl probably said "you didn't follow-up with me soon enough after our date so I thought you weren't interested and moved on."

 

Guys gotta get some better strikes against him than this, sheesh.

Posted
At this stage?! LoL would you nonstop text someone you met for 3 hours? I mean really?

 

I wouldn't. Only because I'm scared of reactions like yours.

 

I've learned to act aloof which often comes across as disinterested, because I'm scared of chasing women away. Consequentially, I haven't been on a date in 2 years. So maybe I'm atypical...

Posted
Oh come on there is also a fine line between nice and psycho...

Yes, a line that you don't get.

  • Like 3
Posted
These are not witty banter texts. I just saw you for the first time last night give me time to process. Goodmorning and going on and on and asking about my day is a bit much after a first date to be honest. Especially if you were texting me goodnight....etc the night before and i barely said anything to it.

 

The most recent girl I dated sent ME a text saying good night and that she had a fun time when we went out. Please keep in mind that this text came on my way home after I dropped her off (about 15min after I dropped her off). The next morning, she started work @ 5:30am and my phone went off because she sent me a text saying that she wanted to know when I'm free again to see her.

 

I didn't think she was mental in the least amount! It's refreshing to have met a girl that actually trys to pursue me and match my interest level. But had I gotten 9 texts that day instead of the 7 texts she sent, then she fails!!! Pff, give the guy a chance!

  • Like 2
Posted
Yes, a line that you don't get.

 

LOL. it ISN'T a " fine line" between nice and psycho.

 

There isn't a "thin border" between:

 

"Good Morning, I had a good time last night."

 

AND

 

"If I can't have you, NO ONE will which is why I am chasing you down a darkened alley with this knife!"

 

That's a pretty big gulf in fact, like Gulf of Mexico-sized gulf.

  • Like 1
Posted
LOL. it ISN'T a " fine line" between nice and psycho.

 

There isn't a "thin border" between:

 

"Good Morning, I had a good time last night."

 

AND

 

"If I can't have you, NO ONE will which is why I am chasing you down a darkened alley with this knife!"

 

That's a pretty big gulf in fact, like Gulf of Mexico-sized gulf.

 

 

"I had a nice time last night. You smelled amazing! When can I see you again?"

.....5 min later

"Hey! Are you there?"

....5 min later

"Are you ignoring me?"

Posted
"I had a nice time last night. You smelled amazing! When can I see you again?"

.....5 min later

"Hey! Are you there?"

....5 min later

"Are you ignoring me?"

 

Yeah.....

 

That would be crossing the bridge over the Gulf....

Posted
LOL. it ISN'T a " fine line" between nice and psycho.

 

There isn't a "thin border" between:

 

"Good Morning, I had a good time last night."

 

AND

 

"If I can't have you, NO ONE will which is why I am chasing you down a darkened alley with this knife!"

 

That's a pretty big gulf in fact, like Gulf of Mexico-sized gulf.

 

It is fine line since if she was interested in him his interest will have been wanted and not seem over the top. However the op said herself - she likes jerks... she probably doesn't think she is worth the contact and isn't use to it.

  • Like 4
Posted
It is fine line since if she was interested in him his interest will have been wanted and not seem over the top. However the op said herself - she likes jerks... she probably doesn't think she is worth the contact and isn't use to it.

 

Exactly. Sucks for guys like that though. Hard to get girls like the OP when the girls aren't used to someone actually being genuinely interested in them.

Posted
You just don't like him.

 

Yep.

 

If you were really into this guy, you wouldn't be complaining about this communication.

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