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Do you think feminism screwed up dating in todays world

Sun Devil

By Sun Devil
in General Relationship Discussion

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Sun Devil Established Member

Sun Devil

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Some people here think that feminisim is the reason that a lot of guys are struggling. I dont know if this is true or not, but alot of people told me that dating was simpler in the old days.

tman666 Established Member

tman666

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Man, I really miss how dating was back in ancient Mongolia. Back then, you could just ride through a neighboring village, cut a bunch of dudes' heads off, burn things down, and leave with a string of livestock and new females for your horde.

 

Sigh... Those were the days...

  • Like 16
serial muse Established Member

serial muse

Posted
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Man, I really miss how dating was back in ancient Mongolia. Back then, you could just ride through a neighboring village, cut a bunch of dudes' heads off, burn things down, and leave with a string of livestock and new females for your horde.

 

Sigh... Those were the days...

 

But those guys weren't shy, so.

  • Like 5
danny in van Established Member

danny in van

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Some people here think that feminisim is the reason that a lot of guys are struggling. I dont know if this is true or not, but alot of people told me that dating was simpler in the old days.

 

It's one of the reasons that a lot of women are struggling too. Think that to many it means 'I don't 'need' a man' and to many it seems to mean 'A man is a crutch' or whatever...

 

Feminism at its extreme fosters independence from men - which of course is a good thing- but is a very new thing in long view of history...

 

So the result is the number of romantic unions has changed.

 

Women feel a need to adhere to feminism as it seems to be a positive, but is goes against what a diff part of their brain is wanting= inner conflict!

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kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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The feminist revolution made dating better in my eyes. Who woudlnt want women who embrace independence and their sexuality?

 

Maybe feminism sucks for guys who dont know how to date...but sucks for them. Before feminism everyone got married before 25 and women stayed home all day. And guys were primarily chosen just because they could provide. Id want to be chosen for my personality and attractiveness to a girl too.

 

I guess in past days and ages where women absolutely needed guys to get by in life, that may seem better to guys who cry about dating. Cus in those times there really wasnt much dating and maybe they felt more garunteed to land a lady.

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El Brujo Established Member

El Brujo

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IMO dating is one of the last areas feminism hasn't touched. For reasons I don't pretend to understand, most people still don't think it's ok for women to cold-approach men.

Necris Established Member

Necris

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IMO dating is one of the last areas feminism hasn't touched. For reasons I don't pretend to understand, most people still don't think it's ok for women to cold-approach men.

 

Women don't think its okay to cold-approach, don't like that possibility of rejection.

 

Besides women do cold-approach if she's really, really attracted to the guy, I've seen guys who are attractive who never approach women, they just sit there and women come to them and they pick which girl they like.

 

Feminism to me has made things worse for guys who aren't into the whole hook up pleasure culture and just want a good relationship. For guys who want sex feminism has made things much easier.

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SmileFace Established Member

SmileFace

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But those guys weren't shy, so.

They probably were tall too.

Long limbs and all

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tbf Established Member

tbf

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They probably were tall too.

Long limbs and all

And rich from pillaging!
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CptObvious Established Member

CptObvious

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And rich from pillaging!

 

They lifted too bro

  • Like 1
Archgirl Established Member

Archgirl

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The feminist revolution made dating better in my eyes. Who woudlnt want women who embrace independence and their sexuality?

 

Maybe feminism sucks for guys who dont know how to date...but sucks for them. Before feminism everyone got married before 25 and women stayed home all day. And guys were primarily chosen just because they could provide. Id want to be chosen for my personality and attractiveness to a girl too.

 

I guess in past days and ages where women absolutely needed guys to get by in life, that may seem better to guys who cry about dating. Cus in those times there really wasnt much dating and maybe they felt more garunteed to land a lady.

 

Now I REALLY think you should move to Australia and date me, You're awesome :love:

RachR Established Member

RachR

Posted
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Man, I really miss how dating was back in ancient Mongolia. Back then, you could just ride through a neighboring village, cut a bunch of dudes' heads off, burn things down, and leave with a string of livestock and new females for your horde.

 

Sigh... Those were the days...

 

Lmao This made me laugh out loud.

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Sith Apprentice Established Member

Sith Apprentice

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Under feminism average looking males get discarded by average looking females.

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ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

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Under feminism average looking males get discarded by average looking females.

 

And average-looking females remain single for the duration of their lives.

 

That sounds perfectly fine with me if that is what they want.

 

While I do admire anyone who keeps going for the best they can find but I also come to terms that I will only be young for so long.

 

I rather settle with someone who came short of my ideal mate than to stay single and die alone.

 

As for the dating scene in question, I'm not affected because, frankly, I'm not like the majority. I don't chase most women. If I do chase one, it's because she happens to do something that I have never seen from another other female I encountered throughout my life.

PrinceAli94 Member

PrinceAli94

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To an extent I can relate with the frustration of dating for young guys nowadays. Girls have very high expectations going into relationships (And I stress, I don't want to appear to make a sweeping generalization, but for the benefit of doubt let's just say they're high.) so wanting a really attractive mate is a given. It's certainly the case for guys.

 

I guess that's why I find it kinda funny. This is very much a double standard for some dudes. We've enjoyed the benefits that Girls now seek out even more than they did in the late 20th century, problem is, the dating game has been hurt by it.

 

At the end of the day, it has screwed the old way. We've just gotta get with the times. And if you're an average looking guy who can't go out on the town and bring a lady home, well avoid making threads like this. If you dwell on it and get that

"woe is me" attitude you're gonna get that loser stench and hurt your chances even more

:/

  • Like 2
Radu Established Member

Radu

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The feminist revolution made dating better in my eyes. Who woudlnt want women who embrace independence and their sexuality?

It sure did, it's much easier to get laid now with no strings attached sex.

Funny how every old woman i've talked to [and i've talked to many] has answered something along the lines of 'this system won't work well for women long term because they will go overboard' when i explained feminism, and what it wanted.

 

Maybe feminism sucks for guys who dont know how to date...but sucks for them. Before feminism everyone got married before 25 and women stayed home all day. And guys were primarily chosen just because they could provide. Id want to be chosen for my personality and attractiveness to a girl too.
There are 200 countries represented here, not everything revolves around wetern ppl.

In fact, ppl living in the west are overtly represented on this forum, so this forms a skewed version of the world.

As for you, you won't be chosen for your personality and attractiveness to a girl.

Like it or not, weather or not you can provide for your family still counts if you are a guy, so that will factor in ... greatly.

 

I guess in past days and ages where women absolutely needed guys to get by in life, that may seem better to guys who cry about dating. Cus in those times there really wasnt much dating and maybe they felt more garunteed to land a lady.
Actually, in those times it wasn't that much easier either, but then again i'm not referring to the western world.

The bar was different in those times, attractiveness counted as less.

But then again, those were hard times.

War, famine, pestilence ... you think a girl would choose a good looking guy over a guy who can protect her and her kids ?

 

The desire of women to go for a soft/sensitive/good looking guy is overall both a new thing and an old thing in human dating.

A new thing because in the past 'provider' defined the selection, and an old thing in the sense that the hoops were and have always been there.

Edited by Radu
Frogwife Established Member

Frogwife

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From my perspective (a middle-aged woman) I don't think feminism has changed dating for me at all. I think the word "feminism" really gets a bad rap! People think it means "hating men", but I don't at all and I don't know any of my female friends that do.

 

I completely consider myself a feminist - I love being able to vote, being able to have a credit card without my husband's permission, enjoy sexual freedom, I can educate myself, buy a home, have a job and be financially independent. And...I love being "feminine", I love men, I loved being married, taking care of my husband and our home (sadly, my marriage didn't last ). I love having doors opened for me and help carrying something heavy - any attempt like that is always met with a sincere 'thank you', certainly not derision or "I can do it myself". I am happy I live in a time when I can choose my partner based on something other than needing to be financially supported.

 

I am just starting to date again and I find dates and men just the same as I would have expected 25 years ago... and that is a good thing. We go to dinner, doors are opened, coats are helped off, checks are paid (although I would never let a man pay for my dinner if I didn't want to see him again). But then, I'm older and dealing with older men (40s and 50s) - I'm not 20, so maybe it's different.

 

There is this notion that women somehow have it easier, but there are so many mixed messages - if a woman is independent (education/finances) then she's a "feminist b*tch" but she needs a man to financially support her (be a stay-at-home mom, for ex) and then she's a potential gold digger... Sometimes you can win for losin'...

  • Like 3
Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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Under feminism average looking males get discarded by average looking females.

 

Under feminism average looking males never have sex.

AlexDP Established Member

AlexDP

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Some people here think that feminisim is the reason that a lot of guys are struggling. I dont know if this is true or not, but alot of people told me that dating was simpler in the old days.

 

Dating has changed many times over the course of centuries. It is only fairly recently that people in Western Europe for example marry out of love. Sex on the other hand has never really changed. Women go for attractive men and vice versa.

 

In reality feminism has changed very little on that front and if anything, feminism was a much needed force at that point in time. Right now we are however bordering on becoming a very misandrist society. It doesn't really change the dating scene all that much though. It's just annoying.

louise_23 Established Member

louise_23

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well i think its good women can do things for themselves these days, have a career, an education, vote, support themselves etc etc. and id have thought while it evens the playing field in life generally it also takes the heat off men to be the ones making the first move, paying for dates, supporting a woman.which could only be nice, right? wrong. i think men struggle with views of what is masculine, what makes them feel like a man, being in control, being the leader and then sharing that feeling with women.

 

not all, of course. hell i took a feminist class in college and i hated it. but just from life experience, dating, work, that seems to be how things are. pursue a man, initiate contact, you're needy/ desperate, earnt more than my ex at one point - was he happy? big fat no. women in the workplace in high positions are career bitches with no life, blah blah.

 

if we're going to talk about things that screw up dating, the internet and a different f word - facebook - are #1 on my list. my god, what it must have been like before you broadcasted your life out to people you dont really know or never really cared about checking in on your business, proving yourself to them by posting a thousand pictures. before people could stalk your facebook before getting to know you. before you could find anyone at the click of the mouse. before exes could seek eachother out and **** up their marriages by chasing a rose tinted view of their 'first love'.

 

in fact, at the risk of sounding amish, add mobiles to the list as well - what was it like when people couldnt text eachother in dating???

 

dont get me wrong, i use the internet daily. such is life, most of us do. i even use internet forums for help and guidance. and i use my mobile phone daily too. but everyone does. if everyone didn't, i cant help but feel life would be a whole lot simpler. i dont think feminism has much to do with it.

  • Like 1
louise_23 Established Member

louise_23

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Dating has changed many times over the course of centuries. It is only fairly recently that people in Western Europe for example marry out of love. Sex on the other hand has never really changed. Women go for attractive men and vice versa.

 

In reality feminism has changed very little on that front and if anything, feminism was a much needed force at that point in time. Right now we are however bordering on becoming a very misandrist society. It doesn't really change the dating scene all that much though. It's just annoying.

 

reallyy good post but wanted to point out

 

"Sex on the other hand has never really changed."

 

it really, really has thanks to porn. namely expectations in the sack and the fantasy airbrushed body image crap thats forced down our throats by the media.

  • Like 1
soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

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Some people here think that feminisim is the reason that a lot of guys are struggling. I dont know if this is true or not, but alot of people told me that dating was simpler in the old days.

 

I don't know about the "old days," but I've met strong women and more traditional while dating. I don't see so-called feminism having any bearing on my dating experience.

 

Like a lot of things, I think "feminism" is used as an excuse. Also, I wonder if and when it is used as an excuse, whether it doesn't have more to do with preference. Some guys want it like the "old days" because they don't like to work harder, or have more difficulty dealing with women who are more independent, vocal, etc.

 

I love, strong, vocal, independent women with an equally affectionate, loyal side! :)

  • Like 1
Juicy Fruit Member

Juicy Fruit

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If you dwell on it and get that

"woe is me" attitude you're gonna get that loser stench and hurt your chances even more

:/

 

:laugh: very funny and so true.

TheGuard13 Established Member

TheGuard13

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I don't feminism screwed up dating...I think the biggest impact on changes in dating is probably somewhere along the lines that there are more people in the world than there used to be, and maybe that the economy sucks, so fewer people are considered successful/good long term prospects?

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