terranovababy Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Been dating a girl, nearly 10 years in age difference (she's younger) and we hit it off really, really well. We both were recently out of rough relationships, but this one seemed great. Due to circumstances, she lives around an hour away from me and had a lot going on in her life that restricted the amount of time we could spend together. We dated for about two months after talking for a month prior to that. I fell pretty hard as she's an amazing girl, and she seemed to feel the same for me albeit a bit more reserved. Met her family, they love me. She's a great mother to her own child. We talked every day. We had plans for moving in together, my kids and her loved one another, everything was going great up until a few days ago. She breaks it off saying it's not working anymore and she loves me, but isn't in love with me. Driving me nuts because I really feel like we never even got the chance for our relationship to mature due to the lack of time spent together and all of the obstacles in the way right now. She seems convinced it's over 'forever' but wants to stay friends...I'm just trying to figure out if I should even bother trying to make things work, or how! I'm worried she's making a snap decision without really thinking this through, especially with how young she is.
will1988 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Been dating a girl, nearly 10 years in age difference (she's younger) and we hit it off really, really well. We both were recently out of rough relationships, but this one seemed great. Due to circumstances, she lives around an hour away from me and had a lot going on in her life that restricted the amount of time we could spend together. We dated for about two months after talking for a month prior to that. I fell pretty hard as she's an amazing girl, and she seemed to feel the same for me albeit a bit more reserved. Met her family, they love me. She's a great mother to her own child. We talked every day. We had plans for moving in together, my kids and her loved one another, everything was going great up until a few days ago. She breaks it off saying it's not working anymore and she loves me, but isn't in love with me. Driving me nuts because I really feel like we never even got the chance for our relationship to mature due to the lack of time spent together and all of the obstacles in the way right now. She seems convinced it's over 'forever' but wants to stay friends...I'm just trying to figure out if I should even bother trying to make things work, or how! I'm worried she's making a snap decision without really thinking this through, especially with how young she is. Well terranova there in lies your problem. You said she is pretty young, so I'm guessing between 18 and 25ish? Most girls that age want to have fun. They may be attracted to someone who is much older, and they may date them for a time... but eventually when the see how different life is at that age they tend to back away and go for someone more in their age group. I'm not saying your not a catch, I'm saying your lifestyle and age did eventually probably scare her off. Think about it, she is young and probably really attractive, right? She started liking you, but once she realized she was too young to play future house wife and step mom to your kids she bailed. Maybe there is someone younger after her too, or with her, or maybe she just wants to be single to mingle. regardless, you should let it go, it was only 2 months. You will be over her soon. I'd go no contact for a while, meaning at least a month or two, and then eventually ease her back into your life if by that point you still want to be friends. good luck
Chi townD Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 She breaks it off saying it's not working anymore and she loves me, but isn't in love with me. Driving me nuts because I really feel like we never even got the chance for our relationship to mature due to the lack of time spent together and all of the obstacles in the way right now. She seems convinced it's over 'forever' but wants to stay friends...I'm just trying to figure out if I should even bother trying to make things work, or how! I'm worried she's making a snap decision without really thinking this through, especially with how young she is. Sorry dude, but this is a classic line that someone else is in the picture.
Author terranovababy Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 Sorry dude, but this is a classic line that someone else is in the picture. I'm usually pretty good at reading people and this was honestly my first and still is a pretty strong suspicion. I don't know how she expects to still be friends dating someone else when we had such a..passionate relationship. Especially when it seems like she's serious about actually maintaining a friendship. She's been treated like **** by a lot of the men in her life and I gave her the moon and stars and all that crap. Who knows, it's just bugging the hell out of me because not only did my kids get attached to her, I've kind of gotten attached to her daughter.
Chi townD Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Yeah, she gave you the I love you but I'm not IN love with you speech (ILYBINILWY). 99% of the time when people get that speech, it means she's cheating on you. Sorry to be blunt, but I've seen that line SO much that it's hard to deny it otherwise. And you'll find that you'll be hard pressed to find any LSer's that are going to disagree with me on this one.
Decisive Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Agreed. Trust your intuition. It will lead you to the truth...
Hopeful714 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 She breaks it off saying it's not working anymore and she loves me, but isn't in love with me Am I wrong to think that this is just an invalid comment? All relationships start out with the "honeymoon phase" where you feel so "in love" but then that ALWAYS dies down and if your lucky mature love takes it's place. So, If you "LOVE" someone...shouldn't that be enough to stay and work through the problems? For if you don't, then I would think you are not "in love" nor do you love them at all.I suppose I just don't buy this as a break up excuse.
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