ChelleBelle00 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Hi all, posting in hopes of finding some insight on this confusing situation. I have been dating a man for about a month now, we've been on 6 dates. We were acquaintances before dating, we have known each other for about 6 months now. Following the 4th date, I spent the night with him and we had sex. The strange thing is that.... he did not once kiss me on the lips. And still has not! He will kiss my neck, my cheek, my chin, my shoulders, my hand, pretty much anywhere BUT my lips. Once when he went in to kiss me on the cheek I turned to catch his lips and he pulled back. I don't understand... I feel a bit odd that we have managed to have sex and have been on 6 dates but have not kissed. Guys, why would you not kiss a girl? Why would you pull away from her? Also, during sex he said he wanted to see me and turned on the lights, once they were on he turned them back off immediately... It makes me think he did not like what he saw. This combined with no kisses makes me wonder if he does not find me attractive... I don't know why he would continue to date me if this were so, but I can't think of other options. I'm feeling a little down about it, but do not want to bring this subject up with him ("HEY, why won't you kiss me??"), because that is a pretty awkward subject? Thoughts? Advice? Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Its even more awkward that you haven't brought thus up....what are you thinking? What do you even tell yourself that makes a lick of any sense? Let me guess "just seeing where it goes" or "hopefully things will just change and improve"...god some women can just drive me crazy, who teaches you to keep your mouth this shut or when not to speak up? The guy isn't into you....for many guys sticking their penis in you is a lot easier than kissing your face because kissing your face is "intimate"...yes we live in a world that puts sex first then everything else comes later....if at all..true intimacy and emotions...otherwise its just basically and indulgment of primal needs/pleasure...same reason you eat your favorite foods and almost that simple. But anyway you just keep that little pretty mouth of your shut and open those legs and lay there like a rape victim because bob forbid you actually have a real or meaningful conversation...that would just be way too crazy ::gasp:: what will say? How will he react?....I really like this guy and want to see where this goes. Please ladies, learn to speak up or have some standards....maybe you'll actually make these boys act like men. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Ummm. Gotta say, I don't love kissing myself. Just other spots I enjoy much more. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Why on earth did you sleep with him? I once went home with a guy (5th date) and he tried to make moves to have sex with me. The catch was, he has never even kissed me (on the lips). So I went to kiss him and he stopped me and said "Nah babe, let's just do it, no kissing" :confused: I got really pissed off and said "WTF is wrong with you? Do yo think I am a prostitute??!!!?!??" and left, slamming the door. He tried to call and apologize many times after, but I never spoke to him again. You should do the same 11 Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Why are you even questioning this? Where is your head? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChelleBelle00 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 I'll admit I'm not too experienced at dating, spent most of my adult life in one relationship, so I never got any practice at what is or isn't normal in the dating world... that's why I came here to get some unbiased opinions on whether this seemed odd or not. I felt off about it, wanted to confirm whether I was making something out of nothing or whether this is legitimately a problem. Now then, since it would appear that he likely just really isn't interested in me, do I just end it, or should I at least attempt to talk with him about this? If I do bring this up with him, how do I do it without seeming accusational? I don't want to cause an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I'll admit I'm not too experienced at dating, spent most of my adult life in one relationship, so I never got any practice at what is or isn't normal in the dating world... that's why I came here to get some unbiased opinions on whether this seemed odd or not. I felt off about it, wanted to confirm whether I was making something out of nothing or whether this is legitimately a problem. Now then, since it would appear that he likely just really isn't interested in me, do I just end it, or should I at least attempt to talk with him about this? If I do bring this up with him, how do I do it without seeming accusational? I don't want to cause an issue. You know what - just ask him. Then end it. Because his reasoning is either **** or health related. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Do you brush your teeth? What about the tongue, do you brush the tongue? See, some people don't know about the tongue situation. That's where most of the germs and bad smell collect. Scrub the back of your tongue until you gag. That's how you prevent bad breath. If it's not your breath, maybe he's just weird 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Do you brush your teeth? What about the tongue, do you brush the tongue? See, some people don't know about the tongue situation. That's where most of the germs and bad smell collect. Scrub the back of your tongue until you gag. That's how you prevent bad breath. If it's not your breath, maybe he's just weird Dude you will not hang around some chick for weeks and stick your dick in her and kiss around her mouth if it smelled like hot ass - I highly doubt this is a hygiene issue 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChelleBelle00 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 Do you brush your teeth? What about the tongue, do you brush the tongue? See, some people don't know about the tongue situation. That's where most of the germs and bad smell collect. Scrub the back of your tongue until you gag. That's how you prevent bad breath. If it's not your breath, maybe he's just weird I'm kinda obsessive about tooth and tongue brushing actually, I even carry a toothbrush in my purse to freshen up after meals! haha. I popped a mint into my mouth every now and then too... my lips are a little small, just naturally not big or juicy (sadly haha) but I keep them soft with chapstick and take care of my teeth. I'm guessing it really just is that kissing to him is far more intimate than sex, and that he's just not that into me enough to actually kiss me. Better to figure all this out a month in than several months down the line Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChelleBelle00 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 kiss around her mouth if it smelled like hot ass :lmao: this made me laugh! Link to post Share on other sites
MyPoutine Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 *sigh* there should be a public service announcement about dating and sex. Seriously, too many times women are spreading their legs before they even know the guy properly and then complain when they get hurt. Why would you have sex with a guy who avoids kissing you?? Why did you have sex before resolving this issues?? What is with this rushing to have sex?? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I'm feeling a little down about it, but do not want to bring this subject up with him ("HEY, why won't you kiss me??"), because that is a pretty awkward subject? :confused: Are you kidding me?! WTF?! You'll **** him - but are worried about bringing up kissing because you think it's awkward?! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChelleBelle00 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 *sigh* there should be a public service announcement about dating and sex. Seriously, too many times women are spreading their legs before they even know the guy properly and then complain when they get hurt. Why would you have sex with a guy who avoids kissing you?? Why did you have sex before resolving this issues?? What is with this rushing to have sex?? I wouldn't necessarily consider myself "hurt" over this... yeah i'm a bit bothered by this outcome and am kicking myself but I'm not exceptionally attached to this man, I won't be shedding tears over this or anything, I just feel a little silly. Rightfully so, I suppose. I don't necessarily "regret" the sex, it's not like I didn't want to have sex, I enjoy sex, but I do figure that whether I had sex or not.... the guy is not interested. Whether we did or did not won't change that. At least I have learned something from this. Dating is a whole new world for me. I will be sure to proceed more cautiously with future men Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Either your breath is bad, OR he is self conscious about his breath. Before.I got my wisdom teeth removed, one of them was impacted and made me afraid to open mouth kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I don't mind kissing but I will say this much: Considering I got no experience on the subject, I prefer not to until I get better at it. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Question: does he go down on you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
silvermercy Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Have you seen the Pretty Woman film with Julia Roberts? Her famous quote is that she doesn't kiss on the lips so as not to make an emotional connection with her client. And of course he continues to date you! It's a no-brainer. You already had sex with him early on. Why would he stop that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChelleBelle00 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 Question: does he go down on you? No, we only hooked up the one time. Neither of us gave oral. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChelleBelle00 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 Have you seen the Pretty Woman film with Julia Roberts? Her famous quote is that she doesn't kiss on the lips so as not to make an emotional connection with her client. And of course he continues to date you! It's a no-brainer. You already had sex with him early on. Why would he stop that? Nope, haven't seen that movie. The quote makes sense though. I didn't realize that sex on the 4th date was considered "early" - from some of the browsing I've done on this site I was under the impression that most consider the 3rd date to be "normal" for having sex, and have seen mention that most guys think 5th date is too long to wait. Maybe I have misinterpreted a lot of what I read. He did not attempt sex again on the 5th or 6th date. Just a lot of hand holding and cheek kissing. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Nope, haven't seen that movie. The quote makes sense though. I didn't realize that sex on the 4th date was considered "early" - from some of the browsing I've done on this site I was under the impression that most consider the 3rd date to be "normal" for having sex, and have seen mention that most guys think 5th date is too long to wait. Maybe I have misinterpreted a lot of what I read. He did not attempt sex again on the 5th or 6th date. Just a lot of hand holding and cheek kissing. This guy sounds bizarre... Definitely do not go out with him again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChelleBelle00 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 This guy sounds bizarre... Definitely do not go out with him again. Yeah, the more I think about it the more "off" the whole situation sounds. I suppose I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I didn't realize that sex on the 4th date was considered "early" - from some of the browsing I've done on this site I was under the impression that most consider the 3rd date to be "normal" for having sex, and have seen mention that most guys think 5th date is too long to wait. Maybe I have misinterpreted a lot of what I read. I hope you're not using LS as any kind of guideline for when to have sex. Do that when you feel ready. I get a strong people-pleasing / doormat vibe from your posts - fear of bringing up the kissing thing, uncertainly about when it's OK to have sex. I suggest you build up your sense of self, your strength, so you can get in better touch with what YOU want and stand up for it. You're thinking way too much about what everybody else wants and thinks. How about what YOU want? Get in touch with that, respect yourself, and make it clear to yourself and the men you date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I'm guessing it's your giant, festering cold sore! I'm surprised you can reach a sexual state without kissing. Obviously this is something you should be asking the guy you're having sex with! Link to post Share on other sites
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