artchick88 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 At the gym today some trainer was a jerk to me saying to his client something about "as soon as this girl gets out of the way" after he directed me to grab the equipment I needed. Anyway I don't need to go into it.. he gave me attitude for no reason and hurt my feelings. So unfortunately I got a little upset and got watery eyes and my boyfriend noticed and was like where is he?? And when over to him and made the guy "****ing apologize to my girlfriend right now." The guy came over looking like he was about to poo his pants and gave a nice apology to me. Do you think my boyfriend over reacted? I am so glad he will stick up for me and can intimidate people when need be, but was that appropriate of him? I only worry because conflict makes me uneasy.
Treasa Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Ok, that was epic. Give your boyfriend a nice reward. 7
todreaminblue Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 At the gym today some trainer was a jerk to me saying to his client something about "as soon as this girl gets out of the way" after he directed me to grab the equipment I needed. Anyway I don't need to go into it.. he gave me attitude for no reason and hurt my feelings. So unfortunately I got a little upset and got watery eyes and my boyfriend noticed and was like where is he?? And when over to him and made the guy "****ing apologize to my girlfriend right now." The guy came over looking like he was about to poo his pants and gave a nice apology to me. Do you think my boyfriend over reacted? I am so glad he will stick up for me and can intimidate people when need be, but was that appropriate of him? I only worry because conflict makes me uneasy. It is admirable he is protective and concerned about you...he did however overreact if all was said until that girl gets out of the way....not really appropriate for him to scare someone crapless......deb
coffeeaddict Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I think it's admirable, but the problem with going through life that way is eventually he'll bump into someone who wont apologize or back down. That is unless your boyfriend is one of the Klitschko brothers. 4
AH1990 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 At the gym today some trainer was a jerk to me saying to his client something about "as soon as this girl gets out of the way" after he directed me to grab the equipment I needed. Anyway I don't need to go into it.. he gave me attitude for no reason and hurt my feelings. So unfortunately I got a little upset and got watery eyes and my boyfriend noticed and was like where is he?? And when over to him and made the guy "****ing apologize to my girlfriend right now." The guy came over looking like he was about to poo his pants and gave a nice apology to me. Do you think my boyfriend over reacted? I am so glad he will stick up for me and can intimidate people when need be, but was that appropriate of him? I only worry because conflict makes me uneasy. Fatherly instinct kicked in. First he found out what was wrong, then set the record straight. Props to your boyfriend for sticking up for you. Not all men are like that. I'm sure if this happened again and your boyfriend was challenged, he would have other guys in the gym standing behind him and what he said. Me personally, I think it's better to put up a fight than to back down without even trying. 2
ltjg45 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Got to give your BF props, even though that can come back to haunt him. I know that I can't do that. I value my life too much to let an insult bother me. 1
KraftDinner Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I like it. The trainer was really rude. He needed to be taken down a peg or two. 2
Author artchick88 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 thanks for the responses! It makes me feel a lot better about the next time I have to see this guy at the gym... I think I should just not even worry about that dumb kid. To set the record straight, my boyfriend has never done this before except one time when a guy at a concert would NOT stop staring at me and following me around he told the guy to get lost. We have been together for 3 years, so obviously this is not a common thing. Again, thanks for the input and yes the guy WAS being RUDE. I'm a rational person so people asking me to wait a moment or being polite about asking me to move is one thing, acting like you own the gym and any person who gets in your way is worthless is another. I have never been with a guy who is willing to stick up for me like that, so I did not know how to react when the guy came over to apologize. 2
Author artchick88 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 that was going to be my next move, after I calmed down, but boyfriend beat me to it, which is part of me feeling uneasy.
Author artchick88 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 Next time just do it yourself. that was going to be my next move, after I calmed down, but boyfriend beat me to it, which is part of me feeling uneasy.
johan Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I think it's good he'll face up to people, but it's better not to try to dominate them. If that's what he did, then it shows he wasn't measuring his response very well. I think any guy should be able to speak up for his girl. But she isn't going to feel secure if every confrontation has the potential to turn violent. Because he isn't going to win every fight. A smart guy can speak his mind and demand respect without scaring people too much. 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I would love it if a man did that Unfortunately, most of my exs were weak and passive. 1
Author artchick88 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 I would love it if a man did that Unfortunately, most of my exs were weak and passive. so were mine... sigh... thanks for feedback
rocketman122 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 thats the same thing i would have done. no one talks that way to my girl. 1
Ladybugz Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 i think you are childish its great that he care about you. but you have to learn to stand up for yourself and have a backbone. and dont depend on others to do it for you. cause when your bf is not there those people may come back for you what are going to do then? go get your bf every time? cause you did not demand respect from them for yourself. if he wanted to fight you or touched you in wrong way then it would be different to call your bf .
Mr_Flay Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Good to see just how many big and ripped guys there are who can just stare somebody down and make them crap their pants!
Feelin Frisky Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I think it's admirable, but the problem with going through life that way is eventually he'll bump into someone who wont apologize or back down. That is unless your boyfriend is one of the Klitschko brothers. Dr. Iron Fists. Yeah OP, sounds romantic. Nice it turned out well. If the offender worked there he clearly took it as the smart thing to. 1
Treasa Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I would love it if a man did that Unfortunately, most of my exs were weak and passive. Same here. But some of them probably didn't even have a chance because I always confront people who treat me poorly. Learned it from my mom, who doesn't take crap from anyone either.
RachR Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 (edited) i think you are childish its great that he care about you. but you have to learn to stand up for yourself and have a backbone. and dont depend on others to do it for you. cause when your bf is not there those people may come back for you what are going to do then? go get your bf every time? cause you did not demand respect from them for yourself. if he wanted to fight you or touched you in wrong way then it would be different to call your bf . Nice way to make assumptions! I don't see anywhere in her post where she asked her boyfriend to make the guy apologize or depended on him to stand up for her. He happened to notice she was upset, and she didn't call him, she was there in front of him. Some people stand up for others without being asked to. Edited February 8, 2013 by RachR made less snarky lol
crude Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 You have to learn to be a little less sensitive in this world. Him feeling he needs to "protect" you could lead to negative consequences down the road, and it'll be unnecessary violence if and when it happens. 1
StanMusial Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I would protect my lady from danger but I wouldn't intervene in the case of every perceived slight. I wouldn't confront someone unless I was prepared to mash them and in that case I don't think a good mashing was deserved.
Bristolius Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 "****ing apologize to my girlfriend right now." Who or what was he protecting exactly?
Author artchick88 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 Nice way to make assumptions! I don't see anywhere in her post where she asked her boyfriend to make the guy apologize or depended on him to stand up for her. He happened to notice she was upset, and she didn't call him, she was there in front of him. Some people stand up for others without being asked to. Thanks, I appreciate this comment because I am not a weak or passive person. I typically would stand up for myself. I didn't mention that as I grabbed the equipment I said to the guy "you don't need to be a dick about it." I was having a ****ty week and this was the icing on the cake. My boyfriend just felt like he wanted to say something and so he did.
Author artchick88 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 I can see both sides in the responses here. On one hand, it seemed like a mild insult and probably should have been ignored. Plus, it was a trainer at the gym, so who really cares what he thinks. When somebody pulls a d*ck move, always first consider the source. Was it a loved one? A good friend? A peer at work? Or was it some dude who took a 6-week class on how to show people how to do core exercises using a rubber ball and makes $10/hr standing around being a quasi-authority? See where I'm going with this? Either ignore it, or if you're feeling feisty, crack back on him a little. The world is abrasive...best to be able to just let that crap roll off your back. Or learn to fight back a little. Look back and say, 'Unless you're going to pick up the tab on my membership, I'll move when I'm done'. Not real inflammatory, but it makes the point and does so succinctly. On the other hand, the gesture itself is to be commended. Too many people run around being bad completely unchecked. It's out of control, and i always appreciate seeing advocacy for people who might struggle to find their voice against these people. Was what the trainer said really that bad? Probably not. But it was probably consistent with his cocky, crappy attitude, and those people need to be reminded that they're just another person on this Earth, just like everybody else, so be cool. Thanks, I completely agree with you. I didn't feel like what happened was the biggest deal in the world, I just had a moment where it really bothered me. I've gotten through my life just fine without a man ever doing this for me and it was a bit strange to be honest. Typically (and including this time) I take the time to snap back or passively let it go. (I told the guy "he didn't have to be a d*ckk). Anyway now I feel strange about going to the gym. I appreciate my boyfriends gesture but I wouldve rather dealth with it myself.
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