nowwhatnow Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Backstory is I came to college with a bf and we broke up at the beginning of sophomore year and i went abroad and really learnt a lot about myself. junior year i knew i still needed to be by myself to figure out my life. but now im really for a relationship and i really want a bf but the only guy i met this year that i was really into - really really really into - doesnt want a relationship so we are just friends. sometimes it makes me sad that i dont have a bf because i dont understand why. im attractive, fun, nice, and i have a lot of friends. i also play intramurals, and i'm part of 2 clubs at school. i dont go out excessively, but i go out at least once a week to bars or a party. i meet guys, but none of them seem to be interested. often at parties ill go up and introduce myself to guys but nothing really materializes. how do i go about meeting someone? i try to be bold but im rather shy. any advice?
Yamcha Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Why did you and your last bf break up? Therein probably lies the problem.
Author nowwhatnow Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 Why did you and your last bf break up? Therein probably lies the problem. we broke up because we had outgrown the relationship. i still loved him, and i never would have broken up with him, but we dated in high school and we were growing apart at college. we just wanted and were into different things
Yamcha Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 First off, open and honest communication. When you break up with someone, that means you don't love them anymore. Nothing wrong with that. Being honest with your feelings is key to building a relationship. 2
Author nowwhatnow Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 I dont think that was what happened in our case. We both had a lot of growing up to do. And I believe that it was for the best. He also had some issues he needed to deal with and he coudn't do that while in a relationship. But my question is really how do I meet more guys at college?? I feel that I am ready for a relationship but the only guy I really liked didn't want a relationship. How can I show that I am available?
clia Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Honestly, it sounds like you are doing all the right things -- you are involved in clubs, intramurals, you go to bars and parties. In other words, you are putting yourself out there. That's all you can really do. Just be patient -- your time will come. That said -- maybe work on your flirting skills? As a woman, you shouldn't have to be the bold one, but maybe you are sending out the wrong vibe?Have you asked your friends if they see any blatant problems with how you are carrying yourself? Do you look your best, i.e. clothing choices, hairstyle, make up, etc.?
Yamcha Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 I dont think that was what happened in our case. We both had a lot of growing up to do. And I believe that it was for the best. He also had some issues he needed to deal with and he coudn't do that while in a relationship.I'm not sayin' that lack of communication was the main issue in the breakup. But let's face facts here. If you love someone, you wanna be with them. Being honest and upfront will help you meet other genuine and honest people. But my question is really how do I meet more guys at college?? I feel that I am ready for a relationship but the only guy I really liked didn't want a relationship. How can I show that I am available?You shouldn't be hanging out with a guy you have a huge crush on. It's gonna be tough to find someone when your feelings for him are in the way. Other than that, just put yourself out there and don't rush it. Talk to people you like.
Phoe Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 I don't think it's all that abnormal to not have a boyfriend in college... I spent all of college without a boyfriend, and know many female friends who did the same. Many people just aren't looking for a relationship at that time, and instead are focused on school and just experiencing life.
Author nowwhatnow Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 i know its not abnormal i just feel ready but im getting frustrated with putting myself out there and not meeting anyone :S
Easyguy14 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Backstory is I came to college with a bf and we broke up at the beginning of sophomore year and i went abroad and really learnt a lot about myself. junior year i knew i still needed to be by myself to figure out my life. but now im really for a relationship and i really want a bf but the only guy i met this year that i was really into - really really really into - doesnt want a relationship so we are just friends. sometimes it makes me sad that i dont have a bf because i dont understand why. im attractive, fun, nice, and i have a lot of friends. i also play intramurals, and i'm part of 2 clubs at school. i dont go out excessively, but i go out at least once a week to bars or a party. i meet guys, but none of them seem to be interested. often at parties ill go up and introduce myself to guys but nothing really materializes. how do i go about meeting someone? i try to be bold but im rather shy. any advice? no offense but maybe you're not as attractive as you might think. Its just something to think about although I'm not doubting your nice enough.
natwilliams Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Don't be sad. I'm 28 and feel the same way sometimes. But it's important to focus on what you're happy about in life rather than what you're missing and you will naturally attract love that way. Yes, you have to be proactive too, but try your best to be super patient with yourself at the same time. Try to connect with the right kinds of people through clubs or student groups or whatever. Also be open to flirting with new people even if not of sexual interest - you'd be surprised how new friendships can happen and other new encounters can happen as a result.
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