Lillyfree Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 hi all. after more than 40 years together, many ups and downs (more downs), 4 months of in-home separation, my parents are divorcing. i've never witnessed a divorce in the family or amongst close friends - guess i've been lucky that way. however, i've been a sort of a mediator/counsellor to my parents in the last few months. 2 weeks ago my parents, brother and i had a sit-down and my father announced he wants a divorce. i have been urging them to see someone however there doesn't seem to be any desire on either side for R. some other issues were brought up by my father during that conversation, which made me take my mother's side (so far i've been trying to stay neutral). i have said a lot of things that evening, and the result is that my father and i aren't speaking to each other. yesterday he's taken a sizeable amount of money out of the account, and his bags are packed in his room. he's also packed up some of his paintings and other belongings that one doesn't usually take on a trip :/ i haven't spoken to him since that night a fortnight ago. him and i have never had the greatest relationship, but he's distanced himself from everyone. he was a good grandfather to my kids, (better than he was a father to his own.) yet, he hasn't seen them or spoken to them in weeks. i'm not sure what to do. there is a good chance that he will move overseas, and his recent actions all point to that. i don't want to leave things the way the are, not sure how much to be involved and to which extent to be present in their D process. thanks everyone
Mr. Lucky Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I don't think there's any upside (as you're finding out) to being involved in any capacity - mediator, counselor, listener, referee - in their divorce. You should be firm in your resolve and it should be calmly communicated to both parties. You said a lot already and my standard line going forward would be "that's a matter best discussed with your wife and/or attorney". Stay out of it... Mr. Lucky
Author Lillyfree Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 thanks for your reply mr lucky. i've been trying to distance myself and be neutral.. i will take your advice on board.
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