Why relationships were better before texting and facebook

[Woggle]

These days texting and Facebook are a part of life and I don't see that changing anytime soon but I think they have had some negative effects.

 

Back in the day when you were dating somebody you weren't in constant contact with them during the day. When you were at work or with your friends or doing your own thing you were focused on that and not whether or not your partner took to long to text you or what pictures they put on their Facebook or whatever. You were able to go about your day without stressing about these things and your me time did not feel invaded. As a result you really looked forward to seeing them and had a whole day to share with them.

 

These days you text somebody and if they don't respond minutes later you some people start freaking out and feeling ignored and they question the entire relationship sometimes. Other times you are obsessed with their Facebook status and you start accusing them of things if somebody they ate lunch with in Jr High likes their page. FB almost seems custom built for the jealous stalker types.

 

Does anybody else see my point? This is why I don't text or use Facebook. I keep a cell phone but I barely use it.

[2sure]

My daughter 17 and just starting to date. I had to ban her from texting in school and after 11pm. No problem. She doesn't have much time to actually see boys and no time alone with them really....just weekend activities , so I asked her, why not a phone call? She couldn't fathom it. Several hundred three word text messages, but no conversations. And besides with the constant contact and pictures...what to talk about? What to ask?

[Green Light]

These days texting and Facebook are a part of life and I don't see that changing anytime soon but I think they have had some negative effects.

 

Back in the day when you were dating somebody you weren't in constant contact with them during the day. When you were at work or with your friends or doing your own thing you were focused on that and not whether or not your partner took to long to text you or what pictures they put on their Facebook or whatever. You were able to go about your day without stressing about these things and your me time did not feel invaded. As a result you really looked forward to seeing them and had a whole day to share with them.

 

These days you text somebody and if they don't respond minutes later you some people start freaking out and feeling ignored and they question the entire relationship sometimes. Other times you are obsessed with their Facebook status and you start accusing them of things if somebody they ate lunch with in Jr High likes their page. FB almost seems custom built for the jealous stalker types.

 

Does anybody else see my point? This is why I don't text or use Facebook. I keep a cell phone but I barely use it.

 

 

I agree with this wholeheartedly. And I'll add that I can't even have one on one email conversations with people anymore. It's like trying to have a conversation with a sack of potatoes. All of this technology has left people with the inability to hold even a TEXT BASED conversation! They don't understand how a conversation flows. The give and take.

What could these people possibly be getting out of these hundreds of little text messages? I think that people just want the comfort of knowing that they aren't alone without actually having to have REAL conversations!

I'm convinced that Facebook is psychologically damaging. Human beings are not supposed to be THIS "connected"! Even if it is mostly fake.

[Green Light]

Being on Facebook is a choice. If you don't like it.. get off it.

 

Anyone who continues to use something they don't have to use.. which makes their life miserable has no common sense at all

 

Its like eating at a restaurant.. deciding you don't like it. Complaining about it. Then continuing to eat the crappy food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. This is the very definition of stupidity.

 

 

I don't use Facebook. I don't text. But I still have to talk to people who do and I'm finding that it's becoming more difficult to have ADULT conversations with these people. It's my opinion that these forms of "communication" are having profound negative effects on society. Just look at how many threads are started here about the confusion and hard feelings caused by both texting and Facebook!

But my argument is that it's making people dull, boring, and even more conformist than ever.

[ja123]

These days texting and Facebook are a part of life and I don't see that changing anytime soon but I think they have had some negative effects.

 

Back in the day when you were dating somebody you weren't in constant contact with them during the day. When you were at work or with your friends or doing your own thing you were focused on that and not whether or not your partner took to long to text you or what pictures they put on their Facebook or whatever. You were able to go about your day without stressing about these things and your me time did not feel invaded. As a result you really looked forward to seeing them and had a whole day to share with them.

 

These days you text somebody and if they don't respond minutes later you some people start freaking out and feeling ignored and they question the entire relationship sometimes. Other times you are obsessed with their Facebook status and you start accusing them of things if somebody they ate lunch with in Jr High likes their page. FB almost seems custom built for the jealous stalker types.

 

Does anybody else see my point? This is why I don't text or use Facebook. I keep a cell phone but I barely use it.

 

Like Greznog, I agree with you, too!

 

I'm not on FB, and don't have a cell! I tell people this number is for a real landline, if you want to communicate with me, then you'll have to call. End of story.

 

I think not having a cell has helped me in the sense that it doesn't prolong "fake" relationships. If the person doesn't pony up to call, then I move on very quickly.

 

People seem to "hide" behind technology. And seemingly being more in contact has the opposite effect of actually alienating people, IMO.

[pbjbear]

Its pretty saddening how many guys Ive dated that relied on text only and sometimes an email to communicate.

 

The guys that took the time to call always won brownie points with me.

 

Im just not into texting as much as a typical person in my generation is because the vast majority of what people say is done through voice and body language.I have an honest personality and I dont blame people on here for thinking certain things about me. Being blatant doesnt work well when you dont have the other things to add onto it... Texts and emails can also get misconstrued alot and Ive had arguments with people in general that have started over texting and wouldnt have been an issue if done in person.

 

Not only that, some people text waaaay too much. Id rather text here and there and save the convo for actual dates

[Pyro]

All of this technology has left people with the inability to hold even a TEXT BASED conversation! They don't understand how a conversation flows. The give and take.

What could these people possibly be getting out of these hundreds of little text messages? I think that people just want the comfort of knowing that they aren't alone without actually having to have REAL conversations!

 

I agree with this.

 

Technology all around has affected real communication negatively.

 

People have become lazy which has also affected the state of relationships.

[ls32ssibm]

Both a dead horse and a Catch 22.

 

 

90-95% (made it up, but is probably accurate) of American girls have Facebooks. If they are attractive in the least bit, guys will constantly be trying to hook up with them on it, single or not. If her boyfriend has no presence on her page, it will be much worse. This is why if I ever get in a serious relationship again I will probably force myself back on Facebook.

[Sugarkane]

What sent me here was getting dumped by text after a year. For no reason. This generation has become a generation of cowards.

[MrCastle]

I see it the other way. I look at it as helping you see people for who they really are. A lot faster than you would have without Facebook etc.

 

If a girl says she's a good girl. But she has 500 pics of herself barely wearing any clothing, and flirting with every guy who leaves a comment, you can better understand her character.

 

If you send a text to someone of relative importance (a question, a date setup, etc) and they don't answer back at all--you can rule them out as uninterested, etc.

 

With social media the way it is, peoples' lives are on full display. They can't hide behind falsehoods. At least not the way they used to.

 

If a girl is a slut you're going to know she is. If a guy is a player you're going to know he is.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I see it the other way. I look at it as helping you see people for who they really are. A lot faster than you would have without Facebook etc.

 

If a girl says she's a good girl. But she has 500 pics of herself barely wearing any clothing, and flirting with every guy who leaves a comment, you can better understand her character.

 

If you send a text to someone of relative importance (a question, a date setup, etc) and they don't answer back at all--you can rule them out as uninterested, etc.

 

With social media the way it is, peoples' lives are on full display. They can't hide behind falsehoods. At least not the way they used to.

 

If a girl is a slut you're going to know she is. If a guy is a player you're going to know he is.

 

I have definitely discovered things on FB that I would need about 6 months of dating to find out.

 

I add on FB since date 1, have nothing to hide and then monitor closely. FB shows shady behavior like nothng else.

 

As for texts, they can help gauge interest level in a low key manner.

 

I love both

[Sugarkane]

They can still lie with profiles. Two of my exes are very popular people despite lying and cheating. Of coarse all their exes "are crazy".

I see it the other way. I look at it as helping you see people for who they really are. A lot faster than you would have without Facebook etc.

 

If a girl says she's a good girl. But she has 500 pics of herself barely wearing any clothing, and flirting with every guy who leaves a comment, you can better understand her character.

 

If you send a text to someone of relative importance (a question, a date setup, etc) and they don't answer back at all--you can rule them out as uninterested, etc.

 

With social media the way it is, peoples' lives are on full display. They can't hide behind falsehoods. At least not the way they used to.

 

If a girl is a slut you're going to know she is. If a guy is a player you're going to know he is.

[Eternal Sunshine]

They can still lie with profiles. Two of my exes are very popular people despite lying and cheating. Of coarse all their exes "are crazy".

 

They can lie in profiles, but they lie even more without profiles to catch them out.

[Pyro]

I see it the other way. I look at it as helping you see people for who they really are. A lot faster than you would have without Facebook etc.

 

If a girl says she's a good girl. But she has 500 pics of herself barely wearing any clothing, and flirting with every guy who leaves a comment, you can better understand her character.

 

If you send a text to someone of relative importance (a question, a date setup, etc) and they don't answer back at all--you can rule them out as uninterested, etc.

 

With social media the way it is, peoples' lives are on full display. They can't hide behind falsehoods. At least not the way they used to.

 

If a girl is a slut you're going to know she is. If a guy is a player you're going to know he is.

 

You can't rely on what you see on the internet because just like here people are only going to share what they want to share and will make up whatever they want.

 

As far as what you said about texting can also have been accomplished over the phone before texting was invented.

 

Again, with social media the only part of their lives that is on display is what they choose to put on display.

 

Just curious as to why you don't have a Facebook account yourself.

[MrCastle]

They can still lie with profiles. Two of my exes are very popular people despite lying and cheating. Of coarse all their exes "are crazy".

 

It's tough because they have so many friends, you can't tie up all the loose ends. For example, a girl bails on you, says she can't make your date because she's sick. You log on and see her friend leave a comment on her wall like "the bar was fun tonight!", or something else making it known she actually went out.

 

That's how I've caught most women in lies. Their friends.

 

When you have 300+ people, it's hard to have all of them on the same page when you lie. Too many loose ends to tie up.

[Eternal Sunshine]

They can't choose 100% Pyro... People tag them, people post on walls.

 

A guy cancels a date because he is feeling sick?

 

2 hours later, he is tagged on a night out with friends.

 

Busted

[Eternal Sunshine]

OMG Castle we posted the same thing at the same time

[Pyro]

They can't choose 100% Pyro... People tag them, people post on walls.

 

A guy cancels a date because he is feeling sick?

 

2 hours later, he is tagged on a night out with friends.

 

Busted

 

Privacy options.

 

If I didn't want you to catch me in a lie then you would be blocked from seeing any wall posts or posts that I am tagged in.

[MrCastle]

You can't rely on what you see on the internet because just like here people are only going to share what they want to share and will make up whatever they want.

 

As far as what you said about texting can also have been accomplished over the phone before texting was invented.

 

Again, with social media the only part of their lives that is on display is what they choose to put on display.

 

Just curious as to why you don't have a Facebook account yourself.

 

I value my privacy. I used to have one but there was drama involved, as there often is on that site.

 

Plus, I've mentioned it before, mystery is my bread and butter when it comes to dating. You see and hear what I let you see and hear. Because that's so different from most men my age, it actually gives me an edge. A lot of girls dig the mystery thing. It's like a movie.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Privacy options.

 

If I didn't want you to catch me in a lie then you would be blocked from seeing any wall posts or posts that I am tagged in.

 

Actually, most people DON'T bother with it. I have seen them delete being tagged a few minutes after the they were.. Too late.

 

And no, they definitely didn't want me to see that.

[Pyro]

I value my privacy. I used to have one but there was drama involved, as there often is on that site.

 

Plus, I've mentioned it before, mystery is my bread and butter when it comes to dating. You see and hear what I let you see and hear. Because that's so different from most men my age, it actually gives me an edge. A lot of girls dig the mystery thing. It's like a movie.

 

But you said before that technology is better for relationships because peoples lives are exposed/put on display. Now you are saying that it is not better for the sake of mystery.

[SmileFace]

But you said before that technology is better for relationships because peoples lives are exposed/put on display. Now you are saying that it is not better for the sake of mystery.

He doesn't do relationships.

[Pyro]

Actually, most people DON'T bother with it. I have seen them delete being tagged a few minutes after the they were.. Too late.

 

And no, they definitely didn't want me to see that.

 

I'm not sure about most people. Regardless my point was that there are ways to hide things online so it is not correct to say that things such as Facebook will show you the truth.

[MrCastle]

But you said before that technology is better for relationships because peoples lives are exposed/put on display. Now you are saying that it is not better for the sake of mystery.

 

Better because I can keep track of them. Worse because they can keep track of me (but I diffuse that).

[Pyro]

He doesn't do relationships.

 

Isn't that what this thread is about? I was sticking to topic.