tks0816 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Needing unbiased opinions here. About a year and half ago I met an amazing person and we had a whirlwind relationship. A connection I've never had with anyone else. Well, I screwed up majorly and I got dumped one month after my drunken "incident" and no it wasn't cheating. I should have been dumped. The timing was awful and I was scared to give it my all and I was not making him happy bc of my insecurities. The breakup broke my heart worse than anything I've ever experienced. Nine months later, I was in a new (horrible) rebound relationship. I realized what I lost and felt I had to apologize. So I sent a text 4 months ago and it was very well received. He complimented me on my character, etc. For the past 4 months, we have been texting (no phone). At all times of the day, night, weekends, when he is out of town on vacation, etc. Inside jokes, funny things, and lately it has turned very flirty/pet name'y. I was too chicken to go through with a meetup a couple months ago because I was still in my horrible relationship. But now, I've dumped the loser I was with and I have a date set up with "the guy that got away" At the very least, I want to be friends. He is an amazing person who makes me happy and I want him in my life bc he adds value. But I also feel like we have a lot of chemistry and we plan on drinking.... we all know where that leads. I kind of shut down/freeze up when I really really like someone communication wise. So I probably will NOT initiate any deep conversation. I want to just have fun, go with the flow and enjoy his company with no other expectations. But I'm kinda thinking he is on the same page as me and kind of scared to pull the trigger. He isn't a player, treated me like gold and is way too busy to play games. So for him to offer any Friday or Saturday to me after I've canceled on him once is a pretty big deal IMO. By the way he is taking me to a very very nice place. Are these all positive signs or could this just be a friend thing? It's hard not to fantasize about a reconciliation but I want to "get real" to lessen the butterflies. I got em bad!
Simon Phoenix Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Well, you can't afford to flake out or freeze up again. It seems like you have been given a second chance to right whatever drunken wrong you made. Just go with the flow and let the night take it's natural course. Keep it fun, flirt, do your thing. Personally, I'm rooting for you, because your situation sounds a hell of a lot like mine. Made a great connection with a person in a short relationship, had a non-cheating "incident" due to being drunk and overwhelmed which caused her to flee. I'm now at 4.5 months NC after a couple months of seeing her for a weekend, assorted breadcrumbs and her ignoring me along with a shorter NC thrown in. I'd love to be in the situation you are in. But I would relax and trust your feelings and not overthink/clam up/act weird. Don't repeat history, have fun!
Author tks0816 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 I will be rooting for you too. I was 9 months NC before I sent him my apology text so don't lose hope ! I have a guy friend who is sort of a player, but he gets any girl he wants. If a girl treats him like you ex treats you, he'd wait a while and text something about just thinking about you bc my new girl is amazing and i would have never learned the lessons i needed to without you so thank you so i hope we can be friends bla bla .... and it always works LOL just saying... but thats major game playing which i always try to avoid.
Simon Phoenix Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I will be rooting for you too. I was 9 months NC before I sent him my apology text so don't lose hope ! I have a guy friend who is sort of a player, but he gets any girl he wants. If a girl treats him like you ex treats you, he'd wait a while and text something about just thinking about you bc my new girl is amazing and i would have never learned the lessons i needed to without you so thank you so i hope we can be friends bla bla .... and it always works LOL just saying... but thats major game playing which i always try to avoid. Yeah, I probably wouldn't do that. I don't know what I'll do to be honest. Right now, I'm going to do nothing and just see where life leads me. I was going to try to contact her after a month NC but I got information from others (she's the sister-in-law of my best friend) that she "was looking to see if she could do better" and that caused me to extend the NC indefinitely. I've had conflicting thoughts since.
pinkie Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Just be confident and look your best (of course). Keep the convo light and go with the flow as you mentioned. Don't get drunk. Don't hang out all night either. Leave before things get too cozy. Give him something to think about. (i.e. if he misses you, wants you back, just friends, etc.) Don't let you're butterflies show... I know this is hard. Just pretend he's a friend, nothing more. Have fun and goodluck! Should you both decide to push the 'reset' button.... Go slooowwww!
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