sunshine6 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Trying to get over him, then BAM, thanks to the internet and my obsession I see a WEDDING picture of him and his wife. He just got married a few years ago - in the midst of showing interest in my married self. Has said he's not in love with her. Well he sure looked in love in this photo. Please remind me of what a d*ck he is and how stupid it was to believe anything he said. This feels like a kick in the gut. I know..I know...
ComingInHot Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Sunshine! Something must be in the water today. Lots are checking their paramours via social media Stop that right now!** It is adding pain and no joy and it's doing nothing to help you move on. If you are having a hard time remembering he's a turd, read some others who are doing the same thing as you and think of what jackholes They are then how similar they are to him. You HAVE to smile, your username (sunshine) demands it* 1
ComingInHot Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Oh my gosh, I just re-read my post and want to clarify... It's the WH that are the turds the "they" is the WH... Sheesh it's been a long day* 1
Acheron Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I am confused. so he should not have the same wedded bliss that you have? did you lie and say you were not married, available? so you were an option for him? he knew that you were option to marry? fyi- I was unknowing OW...he lied to me about being married for 3 years. I know I sound like BS, but not.
Author sunshine6 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 I think this is a mini wake-up call for me. I know it sounds stupid. This is the first time I've them "together" in a loving way. It makes me feel so stupid to think he could have ever actually meant the words that came out of his mouth of crap. I know I'm married and guilty, too. I think this has forced my brain to look at it from a different perspective that I thought I saw before, but really didn't fully. Why would he have anything to do with me if he is so happy with her?
Author sunshine6 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 Probably. So she's the lucky one then, right? What a jerk. And what a bubble I've been keeping myself in.
stevie_23 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I think part of this is perceptions by us. I saw pictures of my ex-MM with his wife several times when he showed me his Facebook page and stuff. He always looked out of place and sort of…almost “haunted” in his eyes. It fit with what he’d told me about never feeling like he belonged in her family and with her kids and such. Even their civil ceremony wedding photo he looked…odd. Small. Tense. Smiling though, as he should have been. I also saw photos taken before he knew of my existence, with her, and he looked ok. Fairly normal. I only felt in the photos I saw that since we got together, any photos taken after that time, were the ones where he was looking through his current situation and right at ME. But of course, that’s perception, isn’t it, on my part? If I didn’t know who he was and saw those photos, I’d probably assume he looked happy and normal the whole time. And yes, they are married. In photos with my long term partner we look very happy, and I AM happy, but…I was still with my ex-MM for almost 2 years. So it IS possible to find SOME sort of happiness even if you’d still rather be with someone else. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them. And you’re not supposed to look miserable in photos anyway. Lol.
Journee Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Probably. So she's the lucky one then, right? What a jerk. And what a bubble I've been keeping myself in. Lucky? Hardly. No one wins in these situations. Born of lies and pain. Enough to go around the dynamic for years to come. I am sorry you are hurting. As the old saying goes...actions do infact speak louder than words. It's so difficult to know what is true in the midst of terrible hurt. I'm sorry for your pain. I haven't much advice aside from if you decide to give up on this situation please don't give up on yourself. 1
Acheron Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 mini wake up call? you seem so upset over this and that you did not have chance to marry him so why not divorce and have chance with another guy? you obviously could not care less about the guy you are married to free him from the cell of delusions you have him locked in. honestly- i am an ex-OW. I understand these feelings you have. but wtf. if you are so unhappy- then divorce and stop hurting everyone. why be so selfish? money? security? I am glad your x-OM married someone else if it gets you thinking beyond yourself.... hate me...i don't care. 1
Lillyfree Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Trying to get over him, then BAM, thanks to the internet and my obsession I see a WEDDING picture of him and his wife. He just got married a few years ago - in the midst of showing interest in my married self. Has said he's not in love with her. Well he sure looked in love in this photo. Please remind me of what a d*ck he is and how stupid it was to believe anything he said. This feels like a kick in the gut. I know..I know... hmmm.... must be something going around. checking social media, remembering things they said, feeling less than chirpy chin up sunshine. every time you feel this way, a little bit of him leaves your head and heart.
Catplates Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I had a similar experience with x MM and face book. Saw him and his wife snuggled up lovlingly nursing a grandchild. That's when I decided I didn't want to be in that position any longer. I wrote him and email immediately and blocked every possible avenue. I agree it give you a kick in the guts, especially when you have been fed a pile of bull**** about no affection or physical contact whatsoever. Live and learn!! Cat. 1
Catplates Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 hmmm.... must be something going around. checking social media, remembering things they said, feeling less than chirpy chin up sunshine. every time you feel this way, a little bit of him leaves your head and heart. Your'e right Lilly... everytime you see something on face book, you become a little less trusting of what he might have said and done. Is it full moon?? Maybe that's why people are feeling a bit out of sorts.
twinsmom Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 mini wake up call? you seem so upset over this and that you did not have chance to marry him so why not divorce and have chance with another guy? you obviously could not care less about the guy you are married to free him from the cell of delusions you have him locked in. honestly- i am an ex-OW. I understand these feelings you have. but wtf. if you are so unhappy- then divorce and stop hurting everyone. why be so selfish? money? security? I am glad your x-OM married someone else if it gets you thinking beyond yourself.... hate me...i don't care. Sounds to me like you are so distraught over your own lost relationship with your MM that you want to make sure that everyone else feels as miserable as you. It doesn't work that way. You are mourning your MM, but that doesn't give you the right to diminish the feelings of others. This particular post paints you as a petty woman who has LOST..You apparently hold yourself to a higher level than others who are hurting on here, but why? YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT. 2
whichwayisup Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Trying to get over him, then BAM, thanks to the internet and my obsession I see a WEDDING picture of him and his wife. He just got married a few years ago - in the midst of showing interest in my married self. Has said he's not in love with her. Well he sure looked in love in this photo. Please remind me of what a d*ck he is and how stupid it was to believe anything he said. This feels like a kick in the gut. I know..I know... Reality checks hurt but you NEED this reality check. Photo's can capture a lot, more than meets the eye. Why wouldn't he look happy in his wedding photo!?? He is a di.ckwad. No you're not stupid, you just let your emotions rule out better judgement. He led you on and he was good at lying and manipulating. NOW you know all this so don't EVER let him manipulate you again. He isn't worthy of your tears! really, the guy is an ape-hole! 1
FightClub Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 It's tempting isn't it? Like a quick hit to see what may possibly be going on with an ex-AP or girlfriend/boyfriend? Well, it's bad for'ya and there is no two ways around it. On the other hand, you can use that peek to remind yourself why you need to block all forms of communication, get your look and then shut the door, for good. For me, it was a wedding photo that appeared after NC, which exAP never posted in the year long EA/PA. It was enough for me to no longer burn myself. Keep that in mind, you have to feel the pain in order to stop yourself from repeating it. -FC 1
Author sunshine6 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 Thank you, everyone. Your comments have really helped. I blocked him from my email right after this. Saw him today and I could tell the picture definitely affected my ooey-gooey warm feelings. I was just fed up. I have decided to use this picture in my favor. Every time I catch myself thinking about him and forgetting his d.ickish ways, I will visit the internet for a reminder!
Pierre Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Why would he have anything to do with me if he is so happy with her? Because he is a cheater. Being a cheater has nothing to do with the state of his marriage. He will cheat whether he is happy or unhappy. I think there is an innocence gene in many OWs.
Darth Vader Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Thank you, everyone. Your comments have really helped. I blocked him from my email right after this. Saw him today and I could tell the picture definitely affected my ooey-gooey warm feelings. I was just fed up. I have decided to use this picture in my favor. Every time I catch myself thinking about him and forgetting his d.ickish ways, I will visit the internet for a reminder! UM, why not tell your husband what you've been doing behind his back and why? Do this before it somehow turns to sex with this OM!
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