boxolove Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 (edited) Tell me if you think this is a rebound relationship? I'm not going to say which party I am in this situation. Will try and give you the facts in as simplistic way as possible to make it easier to make a decision: - girl and guy are together for 3+ years. - girl breaks up with guy over an argument that get overblown. - girl starts seeing a new guy within a few days of the breakup. Girl only met new guy during an interim stage between the argument with ex and the actual full breakup (about 1 and a half weeks). - girl is still looking at ex's facebook profile every day. - so girl has sex with new guy fast (within 2 short dates of meeting up) and relationship has started by 2 weeks of breakup with ex. - girl rushes fast into whirlwind romance with new guy. seeing each other all the time, lots of sex, talk of soul mates, meeting each other's kids and moving in together. Rebound or no? Edited February 7, 2013 by boxolove
meeji Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 as soon as you said kids, I was tempted to say no. that isnt something to take lightly but.... there is no way to know. Not everyone that falls hard is only looking for a good time. Its rare but sometimes it does last. When you are with someone and it doesnt work out, you learn quickly what you want and what you dont want. Every breakup puts you that much closer to narrowing it down. I say 50/50 chance of either or.
Author boxolove Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 as soon as you said kids, I was tempted to say no. Haven't officially met kids at this point. Just talked about it.
Sav Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 lol..you'll never know for sure. there's no such thing as 100% when it comes to relationships, besides feelings can be nutured. What starts out as a rebound could easily last
Author boxolove Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 Just seems like it's progressing way too fast.
venusianx13 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 In the technical sense, yes. Simply by definition. However, it does not mean that the relationship won't work out. Rebounds are not always destined for failure. There is probably a good chance that she will have to process the feelings of loss or anything that may accompany that, but it may happen somewhere down the road. As for children, I hope for their sake that they are secure in their relationship before children become involved. I watched my son's father jump from woman to woman (seemingly a rebound upon rebound upon rebound type pattern) and I can't say it has been a positive experience for him.
Allumere Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 we have all read about rebound relationships, how most are destined to fail, how they can be both a positive and negative experience, sometimes they work blah,blah, blah. Reality is everything you read is true (minus percentages). Its all very dependent on the individuals involved so there can be many, many different outcomes. In my experience, every gent I have had a relationship with is now married, engaged to or living with the gal they dated after me or in my ex-husbands case the woman he was having an affair with..so yeah, those relationships can certainly work.
Author boxolove Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 Its all very dependent on the individuals involved so there can be many, many different outcomes. It's the speed of it combined with being a complete mismatch. No just the jumping into everything so fast, but the fact that she's saying things/doing things that are completely out of character and the guy is complete opposite of what she's ever gone for. Bit of a trainwreck, tbh.
Ladybugz Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 its sad i guess you are the ex or the new bf? if you are the girl you need to work on your self worth. cause when you have kids you cant spreed your legs everywhere. you are putting your kids in danger. once you have kids wild life and teen behavior should be over!
Author boxolove Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 My last rebound lasted 26 years...... That's not too reassuring.
Author boxolove Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 ......why? For my situation, I mean.
Allumere Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 It's the speed of it combined with being a complete mismatch. No just the jumping into everything so fast, but the fact that she's saying things/doing things that are completely out of character and the guy is complete opposite of what she's ever gone for. Bit of a trainwreck, tbh. In each case the rebounds were quick and the ladies and lifestyle were opposite of mine/things they told me they wanted. No secret formula..sometimes it burns out, sometimes it doesnt...just sayin.
Author boxolove Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Still very very confused by this situation, guys.
TaraMaiden Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 Why are you confused? I personally detest this label, "Rebound". You could say that very single relationship I have had, has been a rebound. the shortest one lasted 5 months - and that one broke up at the insistence of his dominating and over-bearing mother. having spoken to him since (although a long time ago) he maintained that the break-up has always been his biggest regret. had it not been for his mother, we might well have carried on dating for... ever! I'm 55. In all my adult/dating life I have only ever had 6 partners. That's really not a huge amount - but each "Follow-on" has been within a month of the last. Sometimes even just a couple of weeks. They weren't rebounds. They were "The right guys, in the right place, at the right time. The fact that I parted company with 5 of them, doesn't make them wrong rebounds. It merely measn that relationship had run its course. Rebounds can occur three years down the line, or three days. The description 'Rebound' is an anomaly, and I personally feel it shouldn't be used in dating as a terminology.
Author boxolove Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 Thanks, TaraMaiden. Just that if you look at 100 rebound threads here on loveshack, nearly all of them concern heartbreak of one kind or another. I'd say easily 90 out of 100 threads have a negative take on rebounds (be it from the rebounder, reboundee or the ex). It seems like rebound success stories are pretty rare.
TaraMaiden Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Rebound relationships only fail because 'you're' still too 'in your head' about the ex. If a relationship is begun when 'you' are still clearly, demonstrably and obviously not over the ex- then yeah, it won't work. It depends on the level of 'moved on'. If a relationship is used as a means of moving on - you won't 'move on'. If a relationship is used because you know you've moved on enough - happy days.......
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