jimmy828ri Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 ok so my wife had an emotional/physical affair , lasted 3 months , she said she was going to break it off and has told me 3 times she broke it off , once at his house for a few hours , shes been continuing to text with him daily , she has now decided its time to break it off with him for good and decided that they would go for dinner to talk and break it off , now can any of you tell me if this is all normal or ok , i feel its absolute bull****
Author jimmy828ri Posted February 7, 2013 Author Posted February 7, 2013 Common law g/f we have 3 kids
Balzac Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 Of course it's BS the larger question is what are you willing to do about it?
Try Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 ok so my wife had an emotional/physical affair , lasted 3 months , she said she was going to break it off and has told me 3 times she broke it off , once at his house for a few hours , shes been continuing to text with him daily , she has now decided its time to break it off with him for good and decided that they would go for dinner to talk and break it off , now can any of you tell me if this is all normal or ok , i feel its absolute bull**** She has been in a full blow affair with her affair partner (AP) for 3 months, has falsely told you that she broke it off while continuing it, and now you are going to let her go to dinner with this guy that has been f*cking your wife to again break it off? Are you nuts? By even suggesting this she is showing that she has more respect for the feelings of her AP than she has for you and your marraige. No way she goes to that dinner. Tell her that she needs to stop placing the feeling of her AP over the feelings of you her husband. Tell her that you will be there today when she writes and sends a full no contact (the affair is over) letter and that if she has any further contact whatsoever (much less dinner) with her AP, that you will file for divorce immediately. If you allow anything less, than you would deserve the inevitable cheating that will continue. 2
Ninja'sHusband Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 Yup, I worry they will just make new plans to take it even further underground. I would want to monitor what is going on.
eleanorrigby Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 she has now decided its time to break it off with him for good and decided that they would go for dinner to talk and break it off , ugh I can imagine how even more disrespected this break up dinner must make you feel. You probably can't stop her, but if it were me I'd let her know exactly how I feel about this dinner bullish*t and not hold back at all!! grr I'm all fired up just thinking of it!
drifter777 Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 ugh I can imagine how even more disrespected this break up dinner must make you feel. You probably can't stop her, but if it were me I'd let her know exactly how I feel about this dinner bullish*t and not hold back at all!! grr I'm all fired up just thinking of it! jimmy828ri: What eleanor says is probably true unless you are willing to physically restrain her. But what you can do is make it clear that if she does this she is no longer welcome in your home. If you are not willing/able to demand that the affair end and she goes total no-contact with this other guy then nothing is going to change. You don't mention reconciliation at all and that's good because you shouldn't be thinking about that until she ends the affair, shows true remorse, and is willing to do anything to repair the damage she has done.
NotCamelot Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Tell her you are going with her and see what reaction you get...... 1
Turtles Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Tell her you are going with her and see what reaction you get...... That's the only thing that makes sense... showing up there together, telling the other guy it's over, and leaving. "Break up dinner" is absurd... she just wants one more date when she should be going cold turkey... next thing will be having sex "one last time"... This doesn't work just like there isn't "one last cigarette" or "one last drink". To me it shows she might be ashamed but not truly remorseful yet, she might be in time, but need to stop any contact with him in the meantime if she cares at all about you. I think you should tell her that and not take it for granted that she realizes the hurt she puts you through.
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