Olds929 Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 (edited) Dear friends, I am currently experincing something which is basically ripping me a apart and there is nothing I can do to stop this feeling. I am 25 and my almost ex girlfriend is 20. We met last year, and what we felt for eachother was nothing we had experinced before. The first 6 months were just heaven for both, and we both said we are other's half etc. we were so happy we had met, it was unbelieveble. So we decided to move in together after the first 6 months period. It was all going great but of course problems started to appear, probably because we shouldn't have moved so early etc. The problem is that we are both studying abroad so we knew few people here so that's why we even moved in together. But we really loved eachother. However, now, it got worst, up to the point where i can feel 100% that she doesnt feel anything for me anymore, just affection and nothing else. She is used to have me anytime since we live together and she can't value me for real. She is pushing away and i am pulling in because of this. It is so hard. I have almost no friends here, yet she does have some since boys ways fly around her since she is hot. I cant even get out with a good friend to start meeting other girls because i have none. It is sooo painful to be around her in the house, knowing that probably after the 3 months left of the contract it's bye bye. I should just break up with her now. But she will probably be just a little affected and i would remain however devastated. I am trying to behave with attractive traits such as being a leader, having a purpose ambition etc, but i am also in a rough period since i graduated because i cant find a job. I can 't even break up with her and go with the no contact rule and let her contact me first, because we live together. I could move out to another place but it'S soooo complicated having the contract still on for the house ans other services. I want for things to get back to how it used to be. How do I do that in this situation? I am really at my wit's end because i am almost all alone in this country. I have no one. I know i should let her go but this will be just to die for. What advice do you have? What should I do? I dont want to suffer. I want for us to be back the way we used to. What should I do? Thanks you. Edited February 7, 2013 by Olds929
stevie_23 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Well…the first step would be to sit down and talk to her. Tell her how you’ve been feeling about how you think she feels for you. That you think her feelings have changed and she just has affection and friendship for you now, and nothing more, like you used to have. Depending on how this goes, you have to make a decision. Maybe there are other factors explaining her behaviour. Maybe she’s stressed, maybe she’s just become comfortable with you and doesn’t even realise how her actions are coming across to you. Maybe it will all work out and she will understand what she has to do in order to show you she really loves you. Or maybe you will learn that her feelings really have changed for you and she didn’t realise herself just yet, or she wasn’t sure what to do about them. If what happens is her feelings have changed and she wants to take steps to move out, and end the relationship, then you will have to deal with it, as hard as that will be. Above all, you cannot go backwards. I know all you want is to go back to how things were before, but you simply can’t sometimes. Just talk to her. Good luck.
Author Olds929 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 Thank you for the advice and for your time. I had a talk with her and what she told me is that she doesn't want anything with big commitment and she just wants to be bf and gf with me because she doesn't believe in extreme things like breaking up. She said she wants to only do what she feels and that's it. And if any of us in the future finds someone else and we will feel like doing anything we should do what we feel and let the other know. So i couldnt convince her to find another place and move there due to the implications it would have. What are your thoughts on it? Is she using me so that she will heal fast and get over me? Or she just has issues? She also mentioned that she doesn't know what she wants. She had a big depression 1 month ago for an entire month, due to some medications. I helped her get through it as well! Thank you !
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