beautiful Posted August 28, 2004 Posted August 28, 2004 This is mostly for the guys to answer! You met a girl!had your first date, all went great. Chemistry is there etc etc. You talk on the phone each day and all is going great. You seem like a great guy! You live in different cities but the same state. On the first date you drove to see her. Now you want her to drive to see you. Do you; 1) Think she should stay in a hotel? 2) Want her to stay at your place? ( you say that you be respectful of her, she can have you bed , you sleep on the couch) What do you think? Girls, would you stay the night with him telling you that you have nothing to worry about?
neptoon Posted August 28, 2004 Posted August 28, 2004 I'll give you a girl answer here. I don't think there's any straight male on this planet who would like a girl coming in from out of town to stay at a hotel. For sure, the guy will want you to stay at his place ... trust me on this one.
Moondust Posted August 28, 2004 Posted August 28, 2004 Originally posted by neptoon I'll give you a girl answer here. I don't think there's any straight male on this planet who would like a girl coming in from out of town to stay at a hotel. For sure, the guy will want you to stay at his place ... trust me on this one. I'll give you MY answer here... to both of ya. First of, my last relationship started exactly that way... We talked alot, everything was goin' fine. I invited her to spend the week-end home. First thing she said was "I'll sleep on the couch". My answer was "Who said I'd make you sleep with me ?". On our first night, I asked her if she was sleepy and If it was ok that I'd prepare the couch for her. (Which I really was going to do... It never even hit my mind that she'd even want to sleep with me.) She told me not to do It and that she'd sleep with me... We didn't do anything but, being together like that, that was great... So, for ya girls, there are men who are SOBs... while there are some who, like me, even if they're still a lil Macho... they respect the ones they want to be with.
Author beautiful Posted August 28, 2004 Author Posted August 28, 2004 Moondust.....................that was beautiful. I agree with you 100%! thank you!
binturong Posted August 29, 2004 Posted August 29, 2004 When I first started dating my fiance, I spent the night at his place. We were long distance during that first summer (about 2 weeks after we started going out, I went back home 500 miles away) and I would fly to visit him. He offered me his bed and he was going to sleep on the couch. What we ended up doing was sleep in the same bed, but not do anything.
chicasha Posted August 29, 2004 Posted August 29, 2004 Moondust....Blinturung.....that's so cute. I respect guys who respect me like that. I mean.....my last boyfriend...same deal. He was def a macho man..hehe..but he didn't try anything on me that I didn't want to do. I think he was being cautious....and went along with whatever made me comfortable. We were long distance too....and the first time I came up to see him (we were still friends....the relationship hadn't been 'defined' at that time).....I offered to stay in a hotel. He wouldn't hear of it! he said to stay with him...but if it make me comfortable, I could take his bed, and he'd sleep out on the couch, or vice versa, whichever I wanted. I said...ok so..i went to see him...we went to dinner...had a few drinks..walked around the city. When we got back to his place...we were watching TV, sitting on the couch, holding hands....and then we both felt really sleepy. He said...ok, well lemme go make the couch, I can sleep on the couch if u want...and u can take the bed, its more comfortable (aww!). But..then....i was like...well, u don't have to sleep on the couch..u can sleep on the bed w/ me if u want... And he said...are u sure?? I said...well...i don't want u to sleep on the uncomfortable couch! thats not fair for you! And he said....well...ok..whatever u want then! We slept on the bed......we spooned, and he kissed the back of my head while falling asleep...but we didn't do anything, no sex :-) It was just really sweet..thats all. so....yes..there are definitely guys out there who are respectful and sweet. They'll wait for you to call the shots on the sleepign situation, b/c they know when it comes to stuff like that, girls are more vulnerable. If they are decent guys...then they won't try anything unless you want them to....they'll just go with the flow. I'm not sure of ur situation....but if u feel completley safe and comfortable with him...then go for it. Trust ur instincts...and just see where it goes. BUT...word of caution....always always have a back-up plan. No matter who you meet.....u always have to take caution, JUST IN CASE they turn out not to be the person you thought. Make sure you have enough money, transportation, etc.....in case u do wanna check into the hotel at the last minute. Do not allow yourself to be 'stranded' in a strange city by urself, totally dependent on him. (just some common sense advice.....i'm hoping ur guy is not anyone who would make u feel unsafe in anyway!) Good luck!!
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