He called me his girlfriend after 4 dates. Too soon?

[greenee1]

I've been seeing this guy since December and we have only managed to meet up 4 times until now. Yesterday we went out for a movie and he said if I wanted to go meet his father this weekend. I asked Why and he said his dad told him to bring his girlfriend. I said I didn't mind but then he was like "Oh its only if you want to go".

 

It feels too soon for me, and it feels weird because I don't feel I know him very well. He is nice to me and he gets me gifts and he always pays whenever we go out. The weird thing is he does not text me as much as he used to. He used to text me every 2-3 days for hours now he does not text me for as long as a week. Even then the text conversation is only 20 minutes max. I thought it is because he dislikes texting but then I saw snippets of his iPhone and he texts other people (some are girls, too) more than me, which really confuses the hell out of me.

 

I am really confused. I feel like I should reject him because something does not feel right

[Toddbt12y1]

Follow your feelings. If you feel as if it is all too soon, then it is too soon. You feel as if he has drifted off and or giving more attention to others now then you, go with how you feel.

Sure, he can text and talk to whomever he wants too. For as long as he wishes. But if he displaces you this early on

..and it's only been four dates well, do as you feel. For some people four dates is enough to be official for others(sure majority) it takes more.

 

So once again, follow how you feel.

[mammasita]

If it doesnt feel right, then go with your gut. I do think its a bit early to be labeling you as his girlfriend.

 

Im a prime example of overlooking my gut feelings and going with my heart....ends up bad every time.

 

Good luck to you.

[NiceGuyDTW]

I've been seeing this guy since December and we have only managed to meet up 4 times until now. Yesterday we went out for a movie and he said if I wanted to go meet his father this weekend. I asked Why and he said his dad told him to bring his girlfriend. I said I didn't mind but then he was like "Oh its only if you want to go".

 

It feels too soon for me, and it feels weird because I don't feel I know him very well. He is nice to me and he gets me gifts and he always pays whenever we go out. The weird thing is he does not text me as much as he used to. He used to text me every 2-3 days for hours now he does not text me for as long as a week. Even then the text conversation is only 20 minutes max. I thought it is because he dislikes texting but then I saw snippets of his iPhone and he texts other people (some are girls, too) more than me, which really confuses the hell out of me.

 

I am really confused. I feel like I should reject him because something does not feel right

 

If he's not texting you for as long as a week, then something is wrong. You need to speak with him the gauge where he stands with you. If he's not 100% there, or gives you BS excuses....then time to move on. If someone really wants to be with you and is interested, they will keep in touch at least every other day...and that's minimum. It takes 10 sec to text someone and say "Hey how are you"...

[greenee1]

Thanks for all the input guys. My mind is a lot clearer now

[candie13]

maybe he's busy. maybe he feels you're his gf now, so he doesn't have to reassure you that he likes you every day... maybe he trusts you and is comfortable with you, his life and how things are... or maybe he is taking you for granted.

 

either way, you feel there's a disconnect between hid behavior and what he says.

 

most guys are easy and don't overthink things, I bet my money he never even thought much of this situation, if he wants you to meet his dad.

 

Talk to him, clear the air.

 

My ex, this summer, called me his gf after the first date - electricity was up in the air! I was calling him "my date for the night". turns out we were both wrong . relationship ask for a lot of work and open communication.

 

best of luck

[Treasa]

How often are you contacting him first?

[normal person]

I'd be a lot more concerned that he just decided you were his girlfriend rather than having a discussion with you about it.

[greenee1]

How often are you contacting him first?

 

At the beginning, I texted him, then he began texting me a lot. On Fridays, he'd text me and we'd text for more than 5 hours but that stopped after a month. If I text him, he doesnt reply or the next time he text me, its just asking if I want to go out. I have stopped initiating texts now.

[Treasa]

Yeah, I'd say cut him loose.

[greenee1]

maybe he's busy. maybe he feels you're his gf now, so he doesn't have to reassure you that he likes you every day... maybe he trusts you and is comfortable with you, his life and how things are... or maybe he is taking you for granted.

 

either way, you feel there's a disconnect between hid behavior and what he says.

 

most guys are easy and don't overthink things, I bet my money he never even thought much of this situation, if he wants you to meet his dad.

 

Talk to him, clear the air.

 

My ex, this summer, called me his gf after the first date - electricity was up in the air! I was calling him "my date for the night". turns out we were both wrong . relationship ask for a lot of work and open communication.

 

best of luck

 

Ok, thanks for the message. I should add more info, so...Yes he actually said he trusted me (on second date). He did tell me he was busy because he works 2 jobs so in case I didn't hear from him, that's why. But it's just when I saw his phone and he texted other people/contact others far more compared to me it got me a little confused.

 

I don't think I am insecure/needy because I do give him space. I think he does probably take me for granted. He used to have body esteem problems so I think he may/may not have had a girlfriend before. I was going to ask him that day but then he popped the 'my dad wants me to bring his girlfriend' thing so I was like 'ok this guy thinks I'm his gf'.

 

About his dad, here's another complicated thing...he does not live with him and he is not close to his dad. He is more close to his mother who he hasn't asked me to meet. I am confused because he possibly just wants to show his dad he has a girlfriend/can get a girlfriend, not show his dad that I am his gf (if you get what I mean cos if that's the case I feel used).

[greenee1]

This is why guys should wait on calling her a "girlfriend", telling her "I love you", or asking her to marry you until she pressures you into it otherwise she'll think it is some sort of trap.

 

I was thinking maybe I should be grateful this is happening to me? my love life is pretty much non existent to be honest.

[Art_Critic]

I think you are reading too much into it, HIS DAD said to bring his GF;

not the guy you are dating ?, did he call you his GF or was the reference coming from his Dad ?.

 

I'm a family guy, when I was single my dates either met my family before or very early on, I had no rules about the family introduction being a milestone.. with me it wasn't.

 

It seems you put more on the meeting of the family than he does, which is okay.. just tell him that meeting family isn't something you do till after you have been dating a while.

[greenee1]

I think you are reading too much into it, HIS DAD said to bring his GF;

not the guy you are dating ?, did he call you his GF or was the reference coming from his Dad ?.

 

I'm a family guy, when I was single my dates either met my family before or very early on, I had no rules about the family introduction being a milestone.. with me it wasn't.

 

It seems you put more on the meeting of the family than he does, which is okay.. just tell him that meeting family isn't something you do till after you have been dating a while.

 

Yes, maybe I am. I can't remember his exact words but it was a bit like 'Do you want to meet my dad?' 'Huh? Why?' 'I'm meeting my dad and he told me to bring his girlfriend with him' so guess the reference came from his dad in the first place. Thanks for the feedback, it's interesting to hear from guys' point of view

[candie13]

I was thinking maybe I should be grateful this is happening to me? my love life is pretty much non existent to be honest.

 

well... how about getting one, then? Start dating other people and cut this one loose, since he just doesn't treat you right...

 

I think texting for 5h,btw, is INSANE, I've never heard anyone do that, so maybe you should talk to him before dismissing him completely.

 

just pls don't be one of those girls who's hang on tight to their "bf" in order to have a life... you can have a great life, by yourself, you just need to set your mind to it!

[Yamcha]

You should honestly tell this guy how you feel.

[truth_seeker]

Go with your gut!

[greenee1]

Go with your gut!

 

Hmm...my gut is telling me that

 

a) he did not think about bringing a gf to meet his dad until his dad mentioned it to him

 

b) I am probably the only girl who is showing interest in him at the mo

 

therefore a + b =

 

c) I am the perfect person to show to his dad by calling me his 'gf' even though he clearly texts other people more than me.

 

or d) he really does want to show his dad I am his gf/he has a gf because he tells me he trusts me/give me gift/pay for dinner/give me hugs/is really shy around me... BUT his communication sucks which brings me to ...

 

e) which is I am over thinking and should just accept the way things are.

[greenee1]

Well it's Sunday now and I haven't heard from him at all. His messenging status indicates he's been online recently but he hasn't replied to a text I sent a few days ago. What should I do now?

[Casablanca]

Well it's Sunday now and I haven't heard from him at all. His messenging status indicates he's been online recently but he hasn't replied to a text I sent a few days ago. What should I do now?

If it is taking days to return a simple text message, he doesnt sound all that interested

[candie13]

I've had the "I want you to meet my parents" line a couple of times. Good way to get to a girl's panties - along with the more obvious "I miss you / I love you / you're so special" lines. Now you know, facts before words.

 

Keep busy and don't be available. Like never

[miss_jaclynrae]

Sounds like you aren't into him.

 

 

If you were, you would be psyched that he called you his girlfriend.

 

 

 

 

In a situation such as that, you need to make it clear that it is too soon. Communication people!

[todreaminblue]

I've been seeing this guy since December and we have only managed to meet up 4 times until now. Yesterday we went out for a movie and he said if I wanted to go meet his father this weekend. I asked Why and he said his dad told him to bring his girlfriend. I said I didn't mind but then he was like "Oh its only if you want to go".

 

It feels too soon for me, and it feels weird because I don't feel I know him very well. He is nice to me and he gets me gifts and he always pays whenever we go out. The weird thing is he does not text me as much as he used to. He used to text me every 2-3 days for hours now he does not text me for as long as a week. Even then the text conversation is only 20 minutes max. I thought it is because he dislikes texting but then I saw snippets of his iPhone and he texts other people (some are girls, too) more than me, which really confuses the hell out of me.

 

I am really confused. I feel like I should reject him because something does not feel right

 

 

 

i agree with the other posters you should follow how you feel....deb

[greenee1]

Sounds like you aren't into him.

 

 

If you were, you would be psyched that he called you his girlfriend.

 

 

 

 

In a situation such as that, you need to make it clear that it is too soon. Communication people!

 

I do like him, I just don't know why he has reduced texting with me but texts other people and leaving voice messages on another girl's mssnger but not on mine. I'm also afraid to make him angry. I was thinking of sending him a txt saying "y did u ask me if I wanted to meet ur dad wen u weren't even wanting me to meet me in first place".

[candie13]

Nope, bad idea. he doesn't owe you anything.

 

Look at facts: he said he'd introduce to his family... did he? Did he ask you out recently? Is he keeping in touch? Does he make any sort of plans with you? Does he say how much he appreciates the time you spend together?

 

These things are what I call "the evidence". Some guys are great at implying stuff, making you believe things, without actually saying them. Keep it real. He's not doing that, he is not showing interest.

 

And if he's not showing interest, it means he's with you because he can have it easy.

 

I don't mean to be rude, but you start to act clingy. LET the poor guy ALONE. If he's not coming back, he's doing you a favor!!! and if he does come back, make him work for your time and attention. Especially if you've got the hots for him.

 

Don't be too available, that is such a HUGE turn off...