Starnette83 Posted August 28, 2004 Posted August 28, 2004 Gosh im so sad now.i thought i was over my ex...thats until i drank some Vodka and began crying over hiM!! Its been 5 weeks and 5 days since ive talked to him and i miss him sooooo much, why hasnt he called??? im so sad..i cant believbe a guy i was with 3 years 1/2 just forgets about me like that, im so broken hearted right now, i really dont know if ill ever feel okay! I miss him, i wanna scream and wish he'd hear me! i was about to give up the no contact and just call him but then i thought about him and realized id regret it..but what am i to do??? I Love him wiht all my heart., i hate this!
UCFKevin Posted August 28, 2004 Posted August 28, 2004 Why would he call you? Why SHOULD he call you? What point would it serve? To beat a dead horse? "Hey, we're still broken up but I just wanted to say hey. Bye!" You think you'd feel better then? No one ever goes thru the rest of their life miserable because of losing their first love. You've heard all this before. I'll say no more.
shortbus74 Posted August 28, 2004 Posted August 28, 2004 I am still bitter towards my ex..... (would love to know why he cheated on me with is co-workers wife...and this is what he called me...................."his trophy wife") It is over between you two, move on and do not look back...........they are an ex for a reason.... Sorry to sound so harsh on this... but when my ex left me I was a complete wreck! I ended up in the hospital because of self mutliation (please do not ask, read the thread of self mutliation and why people do it) My neighbors watched me burn his cloths in the drive way... I called everyone we knew and told him that he cheated on me... (One of the worst sins you can commit in the Jewish religion is to cheat, so it gives me solace that he gets to spend the afterlife alone, by himself and not by the hand of GOD) I freaked out!! But life is better for me now... I bought a house, met man that would do anything in the world for me, and I am not his "trophy girlfriend" I am making it on my own now and I do not have my ex or his family passing judgement on me for the things I have done in the past..............
Author Starnette83 Posted August 28, 2004 Author Posted August 28, 2004 sorry guys but drinking vodka made me fall!!! AHHH i called my ex after 5 weeks and 5 days, tommorow was gonna be 6 weeks, i blocked my # called, and as he answered, i wasnt gonna say anything but did.. i sai d" Hey, u know how this is?" and he said "ya i havent forogt your voice" anyways we talked for 2-3 hours, we talked like we hadnt talked in ages, about what we were doing and just so on, then he told me he had been thinking about me to and how was planning to write to me and missed me. He then told me that he felt we needed that month and it made him see how he did act wrong towards me...anyways we finnally hung up cuz the phone cut up and i called him back and he said he was gonna go to sleep its 4:42am, anyways he said goodnight and i couldnt help it and gave him akiss goodbye and just said "ok goodnight", then he paused and said, call me tommorow, and i said Tommorow? and he said ya! ANyways im so happy right now yet a lil scared, i know this is what i wanted!! i do love him so much i guess im kinda scared cuz i know he did hurt me before and i feel so easy cuz i called him! ugh damn vodka!!! Anyways should i see him! i know thats what he wants, he sounded like he did, and if so...how should i act? so far i acted cool on the phone, or should i just not call him tommorow and then leave him wondering???? I love him sooooooooo much!
shortbus74 Posted August 28, 2004 Posted August 28, 2004 I am a firm believer that people who are drinking should not use have access to phones or the internet... They tend to do do stupid things under the influence......... When I drink my hubby to be hides my cell phone and bans me from using the home phone.......( smart move on his part because I tend to make an ass out of myself at times) I love him for looking out for me You should let him call you, do not call him.... stalking is a crime in all 50 states.......... Let him come to you, if you are meant to be then it will happen, why make yourself look like the desperate one chasing after him...........
Author Starnette83 Posted August 28, 2004 Author Posted August 28, 2004 well he told me to call him cuz he knows i dont have a cell phone and knows he cant call my house.... But i was still thinking of not calling him today and just say that i forgot or that i was busy but then i dont wanna seem like im playing games, he sounded really happy to hear from me and he even said "i missed you" and i know he usually never sais that, and well even tho i was drunk i couldnt say "I missed you 2" i just stayed silent and said somethng else like "aww then u should have called" and started like giggling..ahh i dunno i still think i have a way to make this go my way, i wanna be in controL!!! I love him alot tho so its really hard putting a role and making excuses to not see him to soon, even tho we havent seen eachother since the breakup so its been 6 weeks today... ANyways i dunno...im contemplating on what should be my next move, not call??? Oh by the way he told me that some rollerblades he had bought me while we were together for my bday but hadnt got shipped, that he still had them with him and was planning to give them to me, I thought he had returned them or sold them but he didnt...hmm Ahhh either way i need to put a role here, he sounds sorry and like he does miss me but.... I dont wanna give in...i had told myself i wasnt going to but its hard, but i just wanna make him work for me really hard, so i guess if i do call him up today ill just chat him for a while and if he wants to see me, which i think he does, imma make a excuse as hard as it will be!!! ahh matters of the heart are hard,, im happy tho, i love him!
UCFKevin Posted August 28, 2004 Posted August 28, 2004 Well, so much for my advice. That was a pretty stupid thing to do, calling him. Now your hopes are slightly up again. Why? You're still broken up. You're gonna feel like total crap in a day or so again. Trust me. What will probably happen, like what happened before, is that he'll want to have sex with you. And that's all that'll happen. ANd it WILL happen because you'll miss him so much you'll let it happen. And that'll be it. Just wait in see. Big mistake, kiddo.
Author Starnette83 Posted August 28, 2004 Author Posted August 28, 2004 i wont have sex with him, and if i do ..not anytime soon, if we do meet imma make sure its in public so we can just hang out and so i can make him spend some money on me, movies, food..trust me im not as stupid as before were i didnt want him spending money on me,and i know right now i can do that.... Ya i wanna have sex with him, i miss it so much, cuz with him it feels perfect but in the meantime i wont give in to my urges until i know he really does care and stuff... why are some people so negative on here? ahhh
UCFKevin Posted August 28, 2004 Posted August 28, 2004 Because we know what's going on and you clearly don't. You're in that crappy period of, basically, being insane. You're not in your right mind. You have no clue what's going on. The circumstances. THe outcome. It happens to us all. We've been there. We KNOW what's going to happen. I mean, just look at what you said. You want him to spend money on you. What's up with that? Will that make things better? Is that a way of getting back at him or something? You aren't together. What exactly do you hope to accomplish with meeting up with him? Or even just talking to him? We're being negative to try to get it into your mind that NOTHING will be good that comes from this. We've been down this road before, you and us. You asking for advice, us ALL giving you the same advice, and you not taking it, even though you know damn well we're right. So I'm done.
Author Starnette83 Posted August 28, 2004 Author Posted August 28, 2004 im not back with him but he wants me back with him... i dunno, i love him.. ahh this sux whatever, im out
dugs Posted August 29, 2004 Posted August 29, 2004 Starnette83, I say go for it, but just keep it light for now. Try and be friends with him again at first, and then see if it clicks on its own. I don't know your situation or why he broke up with you, but it doesn't sound like he cheated on you or anything. Anyways, if you really do love him and want him back in your life, I recommend that you hang out with him. UFCKevin might be right in that he might just want sex from you, but then again he could be wrong. He doesn't know the guy like you do. I say don't listen to all the pessimistic people on this board that have the attitude that once its done its done forever, because its not true. I have seen people brake up, be seperated for awhile, even date other people, and then get back together and be happier than before. Just because it didn't work out for some people doesn't mean that it is impossible. You are taking a risk of hurting yourself again, but I say that it is a risk worth taking if you feel that this guy is right for you. Think of it this way, if you do nothing now and just let it go and put no effort into getting back with him, then you might regret it a couple of years down the road. You might think "what could of happend if I just gave it one last chance". Especially since it sounds like he is willing to put up the effort to see what might happen. And if your efforts to work things out with him fail, then at least you will know that you tried you best. Here is a quote by John F. Kennedy to think about. "Those who dare to fail miserabley can achieve greatly"
shabrown124 Posted August 29, 2004 Posted August 29, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=red][/color] Holy Cow (no offense intended..) But goodness! Since you've asked for advice, allow me to throw my hat into the ring... You are too desperate for this relationship right now to make a clear decision... You are in the middle of the storm, and you are acting out in an attempt to get affection even though you KNOW what it is that you want, but are afraid and/or unwilling to accept the consequences of your actions. Bottom Line: No ONE person completes us; No ONE person defeats us WITHOUT OUR INVOLVEMENT AND CONSENT. With all that has gone on in your heart and your brain (neither of which is operating under a clear sky currently), I would think that you are emotionally fatigued! Would you attempt to swim across a river after lifting weights all day? Hopefully you would say no, since you'd probably drown. Can you not see that you are doing the same thing? How is it justifiable to know that you are 1) drinking, and 2) cycling through periods of resolve then doubt? How can you know this and feel as though you are operating from a position of rational, healthy thought? More than that, perhaps this example would help you: Would you want to see a child of yours behaving as you are, in the attempt to cling to a situation that is yielding unhealthy behaviors? I do not intend to imply that drinking in itself is unhealthy, or even that a bit of rationlizing isn't what people need to do every now and again to help themselves cope. But what you are doing no longer makes rationale sense And if none of these arguments affect you, here's one: You are giving the impression of a weak, desperate, clinging, dependent, frail individual... none of which characterizes a responsible person who ANYONE would want to be involved with. If he behaved as you have been, why in the world would you want him? And if he sees you at this low, why do you think he wants you? If you want him now, imagine what would happen if you both agreed to grow a bit before returning to this relationship? You, like all of us, are in the midst of a great opportunity to change your life and the nature of your relationship- so make it what you want it to be! But be a better grown-up! If the love the two of you profess to feel is true, then it will withstand this rocky period, and it will require you both to grow together, rather than maintaining this disconnected communication. I don't believe in giving up, but I do believe in not settling. DON"T AIM SO LOW... AND DON'T SETTLE FOR PEOPLE WHO DO! Best Wishes, Duscha
UCFKevin Posted August 29, 2004 Posted August 29, 2004 This guy, basically, has the TOTAL upperhand. He has you. Your his. His to make feel good or feel awful.
ziggue Posted August 29, 2004 Posted August 29, 2004 I would wait to see what has been going on with him first before even thinking about going back out with him. Why did you guys brake up? I agree with UCFKevin. Also what if he is out on the dating scence? He could be getting you and somebody else as well. You don't want to put yourself through that. It will hurt more then then it will now. Assuming if that is what he is doing. Don't know the situation. Just think before you act. Or you could get hurt even more.
SeaGenie5 Posted September 1, 2004 Posted September 1, 2004 UFCKevin seems to know what he's talking 'bout. I totally agree with him. I've gone thru this crap before and have to say returning to someone you broke up with never works. Once the thrill of getting back together ends (meaning you end up having sex) you're right back to where you where when you broke up. All the b.s. comes flooding back, you start talking about who's fault it was and why they didn't do this or that or why it was their fault, etc. You're right back in hell. Then you break up again only to have to start all over repairing your heart and mending a bruised ego. Why put yourself thru this? It's been almost 3 months since I broke up with my ex. Neither one of us have tried to contact the other but mind you we're both in our 40's (been there - done that and learned the hard way). So we've cut ties and gone on with our lives. It hasn't been easy but I learned from past experience - you contact an ex and suddenly the power given to them turns them into GOD. If you don't want to give your ex all that power - DON'T CALL! DON'T GO BACK!
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