Author flashx80 Posted February 7, 2013 Author Posted February 7, 2013 You're trying to find tiny, tiny clues that have huge meaning and twisting them to meet some glorious plan she has for ending up with you forever. If she sat across from you, you would ask if it meant she wanted to look into your eyes, if she sat next to you it was because she wanted to be closer, if she sat 4 chairs away it must be because she likes you so much she is nervous. If she didn't ask about past girlfriends you'd think it was because she was too nervous around you to ask, etc. The fact she didn't bring up the date is because while it might be the biggest thing on your mind, she probably hasn't thought about it since 1 second after you asked. From what you are posting it sure seems like you are thinking, "She's walking with me anxiously waiting for me to ask her out again and wondering how she compares to all my past girlfriends" while in reality I have a feeling she is thinking, "Oh, I almost tripped over that rock. I wonder what I will eat for dinner tonight. I don't care for Jay Leno". I think you are way over-analyzing and projecting your interactions with her. You might just be torturing yourself. When you are having a lunch with someone, it's normal for them to sit across. To me I think it's netural. If they sat next to you it could mean they want to get close to you. However, if they sat diagonal it could either mean she is hoping it's not a date or too nervous. Normally if a girl isn't interested, she wouldn't ask about your personal life and your past girlfriends. I may be over-analyzing it, but I never had a girlfriend before, so you can tell how confused I am
Author flashx80 Posted February 7, 2013 Author Posted February 7, 2013 I disagree with this. And you shouldn't chase something that keeps running away. At that point I'd be like, "**** it. I'm not killing myself to get someone's attention. Either he/she likes me or not." So you're telling me girls should also do the chasing? That means if she hasn't mention about the date, I should move on?
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 Yes. She helped me out to use up all of my points. Basically this what happened. The day after I asked her out on her birthday, I texted her if she's still up for her birthday dinner. She told me she had to study for the finals and suggested to do it following weekend. I couldn't do it because I had to go back home the following Friday. She told me she'll try to do it on Friday, if not "oh well." We ended up eating on Tuesday after she finished her finals. OP, does she have a dining plan of her own? I'm all for giving someone the benefit of the doubt, but she has a knack for finding you when she's hungry or needs something, but blows you off otherwise. If you want to call it "helping you use up all your dining points" or whatever, so be it. Just understand that her motivation is not driven by an interest in you, but rather her desire to satisfy her needs in the moment. IMO, she seems to be exploiting the fact that you like her for her own gains, when she is well aware that you are hoping for more and she has no real interest in a relationship with you. Decent women don't lead you on and use you like that. You can either heed the advice given or learn through experience. If you want to try again, do so once, and then drop it. Frankly in your shoes, I would move on to someone else. She's a user, not a nice person "helping" you.
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 So you're telling me girls should also do the chasing? That means if she hasn't mention about the date, I should move on? Guys doing the chasing is fine. Chasing someone who is clearly demonstrating that she has no interest in you, but will happily exploit you, is a bad idea. It's a losing proposition that goes nowhere, but can drag your self-esteem through the toilet once you realize you allowed yourself to be so blatantly used. Find someone different to chase. That's the advice. Forget her! 2
pteromom Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 I would ask one more time... "Have you thought any more about going out on Saturday?" If she still says she may have other plans that day, "Then how about either Friday or Sunday?" If she says no to that, you can assume she is not interested. If she's interested, she will work with you to find a day/time that works.
Author flashx80 Posted February 7, 2013 Author Posted February 7, 2013 After I thought about it and did some research, I don't think she's interested in me. Here are some list that I found on the internet that are related to me: 1) She only wants to be with you when it benefits her. Otherwise, she makes no effort to be part of your life. (The lunch and pizza dinner I had with her) 2) She doesn't engage in conversation. She's aloof to what is being discussed and doesn't offer much to the conversation. You begin to feel you are talking to a brick wall. (Sometimes she does this. On the other hand, she will continue the conversation that will relate to the subject) 3) Most of the time I always start the conversation There might be some other signs, but I don't pay much attention
ChatroomHero Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 If you ask her out on a date again you really have nothing to lose, but if she doesn't give you a clear yes and pick a firm date right then and there, if I were you I would 100% move on. Anything other than a firm day and time, you are wasting your time unless you are ok with being her friend and every now and then being lucky enough to cover her food expenses or if you ever went to the bar with her I bet she'd let you buy her drinks all night long too. You know already know what she is getting out of your relationship but at some point you have to ask yourself what exactly you are getting out of it?
Author flashx80 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 If you ask her out on a date again you really have nothing to lose, but if she doesn't give you a clear yes and pick a firm date right then and there, if I were you I would 100% move on. Anything other than a firm day and time, you are wasting your time unless you are ok with being her friend and every now and then being lucky enough to cover her food expenses or if you ever went to the bar with her I bet she'd let you buy her drinks all night long too. You know already know what she is getting out of your relationship but at some point you have to ask yourself what exactly you are getting out of it? Let's say I ask her out again. Would this be appropriate? "Since you were busy studying first week of school, are you free this Friday or the weekend?" If she comes up with an excuse again, what should I say? I didn't have any problem having conversation with her after she told me she had to study, but if she comes up with an excuse again it's going to be different. Geez I'm confused. I still can't tell if she's playing hard to get or not interested. But it seems it's leaning toward "not interested."
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Sorry, but why is she using your dining plan to feed herself? How exactly is that playing hard to get? If you must endure the full life lesson firsthand before you learn to walk away, here's what I'd ask: "I'd like to take you on a date. When are you free?" Anything else is going to be like nailing jelly to the wall unless she has a pressing need to mooch off your dining points...sorry, "help" you use up your dining points.
ChatroomHero Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Let's say I ask her out again. Would this be appropriate? "Since you were busy studying first week of school, are you free this Friday or the weekend?" If she comes up with an excuse again, what should I say? I didn't have any problem having conversation with her after she told me she had to study, but if she comes up with an excuse again it's going to be different. Geez I'm confused. I still can't tell if she's playing hard to get or not interested. But it seems it's leaning toward "not interested." I wouldn't ask her if she is "free" anytime on the weekend because you she might say "possibly" and then you're kind of screwed for a few more days, just say "let's go to "xxx" Saturday" or whatever works for you. If she declines and doesn't give you an alternative day, you'll both know where each other stands and leave it at, "ok" and make an exit. Don't do the whole, "maybe some other time" bit. If she is interested and she is free on the weekend she will tell you what day works for her. She might say yes so make sure you are prepared for that too.
Author flashx80 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 Sorry, but why is she using your dining plan to feed herself? How exactly is that playing hard to get? If you must endure the full life lesson firsthand before you learn to walk away, here's what I'd ask: "I'd like to take you on a date. When are you free?" Anything else is going to be like nailing jelly to the wall unless she has a pressing need to mooch off your dining points...sorry, "help" you use up your dining points. The way she asked me how many girlfriends I had, not once but twice, and the way she sat diagonally during lunch, is what I mean by playing hard to get. So I shouldn't say, "Since you are busy first week of school, are you free this Friday or weekend?" I already asked her out last week and she said she was busy studying, that is why I wanted to say "since you are busy first week of school......"
Author flashx80 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 I wouldn't ask her if she is "free" anytime on the weekend because you she might say "possibly" and then you're kind of screwed for a few more days, just say "let's go to "xxx" Saturday" or whatever works for you. If she declines and doesn't give you an alternative day, you'll both know where each other stands and leave it at, "ok" and make an exit. Don't do the whole, "maybe some other time" bit. If she is interested and she is free on the weekend she will tell you what day works for her. She might say yes so make sure you are prepared for that too. Possibly could mean she might be available. If I say "let's go to "xxx" Saturday," it seems I'm pushing her to go with me. If she rejects me I shouldn't continue to talk to her, but say "ok" and make an exit?
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 (edited) The way she asked me how many girlfriends I had, not once but twice, and the way she sat diagonally during lunch, is what I mean by playing hard to get. So I shouldn't say, "Since you are busy first week of school, are you free this Friday or weekend?" I already asked her out last week and she said she was busy studying, that is why I wanted to say "since you are busy first week of school......" *sigh* Flash, if some platonic buddy of yours periodically contacted you and asked you to feed him and do all sorts of favors for him, how long would you let the charade continue? How about if he did nothing for you? How about if he blew you off continually unless he needed something from you? How long before you put an end to his continual abuse of your goodwill? Now say it's a cute girl that you're crushing on and dying to date? Say you hope she likes you? How long will you tolerate this rubbish? Longer perhaps? Longer than if you knew you had absolutely zero chance of getting a date with her? Say you're hoping she might say yes to a date with you next week? Are you the type willing to enforce your boundaries and risk losing a date with her if she's treating you poorly? Or do you roll over and do her bidding because you really want the date that might come? What did it cost her to ask about your girlfriends? What were the benefits? What is the difference between mooching your dining points and going on an actual date which she keeps avoiding? ( I don't mean to be hurtful, but in the second scenario she might have to deal with you kissing her or trying something physical.) She's "busy all week" when you ask for a date. In other words, she doesn't like you that way. This isn't the first time you've asked for a date. She doesn't want one. But you're a useful friend to have. You do stuff for her whenever she asks. This is a one-sided friendship at best. Unfortunately, you're turning into a groupie on demand. It's nothing but frustration, confusion, uncertainty, discontent, and when you finally discover she's dating or involved with some other guy, self-flagellation. You tried. You asked for a date more than once. She made excuses. Unfortunately, it means she's not actually interested in dating you. You are surrounded by women in school. Please pick another and stop wasting your time and effort on her. Edited February 8, 2013 by Cutiepie1976
Author flashx80 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 I appreciate the thoughtful comments, but I think I'll just give another shot. I know I'm a stubborn person, but if I don't give another try, the worst thing that can happen is have regrets about not asking again. Cutiepie1976: When she asked me about my past relationships, it could mean she wanted to know if I have experience dating. If she isn't interested in me, why would she care about my personal life? Why would she care how many girlfriends I had? Why would she ask me that question after I asked her where her "so-called boyfriend" go to school, that turned up to be a joke in her foreign language introduction speech? Think of this way. If you're not interested in a guy, would you bother asking him about his past relationships? Would you even bother to ask him how many girls he had dated? I asked her out once as a date. I didn't ask her if she's available all week. I asked her to go out with me last Saturday. Had I given her time to adjust her schedule and to prepare for the first week of school, I think I would have gotten different answer. If I'm going to ask her out again next Tuesday, I'm going to give her an option to choose either next Friday or the weekend. If she still give me another excuse then I will know she's not interested.
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 The trick is to look at the bigger picture rather than focusing on a particular detail as proof that she likes you. BTW to answer your question, I have asked guys I'm not interested in whether they have a GF, that includes my brothers and some platonic friends. Initially you said you asked her twice. For example, from the OP: I'm interested in this girl that I've known for about 5 months. During last Fall... 4) I asked her out to eat dinner with me for her birthday. She told me she might do something with her family or friends and will tell me when she is available. ... During first week of school, which was last week, I asked her out to go out with me on Saturday. She told me she's busy studying. I don't remember if she told me to reschedule or not, but we didn't have an awkward silence after I asked her out... Is she playing hard to get or not interested? and a little later in describing request#1: ...The day I asked her out for her birthday, she asked me to check out a book for her at the library because she left her card at home. Afterward I asked her out to have the birthday dinner. She laughed and said, "Sure, but I might do something with my family or friends. I'll let you know. Thank you so much!"... Asking last semester counts too. The issue isn't just that she's saying no. It's also how she has been using you because she realizes you like her. When you asked a favor, help putting up flyers for your stolen bike, she blew you off. I suspect that with a little experience you'll learn when it's in your best interest to walk away rather than continue the pursuit. As I said earlier, there's no problem with pursuing someone. Chance favors the bold after all. The issue is pursuing someone who is demonstrating a clear lack of interest but a willingness to exploit you whenever it suits her needs. When a girl likes you, you'll discover how easy and simple it is to get to a date. It's clear you really like her. Good luck..
ChatroomHero Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 I Cutiepie1976: When she asked me about my past relationships, it could mean she wanted to know if I have experience dating. If she isn't interested in me, why would she care about my personal life? Why would she care how many girlfriends I had? Why would she ask me that question after I asked her where her "so-called boyfriend" go to school, that turned up to be a joke in her foreign language introduction speech? Think of this way. If you're not interested in a guy, would you bother asking him about his past relationships? Would you even bother to ask him how many girls he had dated? I asked her out once as a date. I didn't ask her if she's available all week. I asked her to go out with me last Saturday. Had I given her time to adjust her schedule and to prepare for the first week of school, I think I would have gotten different answer. If I'm going to ask her out again next Tuesday, I'm going to give her an option to choose either next Friday or the weekend. If she still give me another excuse then I will know she's not interested. First, I find it interesting that you are going to ask her out and are planning to go with the whole, "are you free in the next few days?" approach. I think you are just afraid to get a clear "no" and want to instead get a, "maybe, we'll see...it depends on my schedule..." bs answer so you can avoid rejection. You are worried about being too forceful you say but it boils down to you are worried about getting a clear-cut rejection you can't rationalize in your favor. Second, try any angle you want but people that occassionally ask you more than once about past relationships anf GFs include: Your Mom Your Grandma Your Dad Your Mom's friends Friends from school Friends from work A stranger at the DMV Your barber Some lady when you are waiting in line at a grocery store... But I would say that does not mean they want you, at least I hope to God it doesn't mean that. This list also works as people that sit diagonally from you at a table. The difference is the majority on here will come around even when you are out of points.
Author flashx80 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 You guys are probably right. I always thought those signs were playing hard to get. It's probably true that she is using me too. Last Friday, she offered me to play badminton with her. But when I offered her to play badminton with me she told me to ask someone else. After I finished playing badminton, I had to start a conversation with her and if there was silence I always had to start a new one. She asked me couple questions like what time I got to the gym and where did I bought my shoes. Maybe she was busy using her laptop, but she still can talk to me without having silence. Even this week I had to initiate the conversation right after class. Ok, maybe she had to go to her next class, but she could at least ask me about my stolen bike. Although she told me she would like to post my stolen bike flyers on Friday, I could tell she's not interested in helping me. She even asked me, "What about your roommates?" I had to do it ASAP because I couldn't wait until Friday to post it. I didn't end up having her to help me. Another thing is that, since I asked her out on a date, she hasn't mention about it. I don't know about you, Cutiepie1976, or anyone you know if you say you're busy after a guy asked you out, do you come back to him and tell him when you are available or do you wait for him to ask again?
ChatroomHero Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 You guys are probably right. I always thought those signs were playing hard to get. It's probably true that she is using me too. Last Friday, she offered me to play badminton with her. But when I offered her to play badminton with me she told me to ask someone else. After I finished playing badminton, I had to start a conversation with her and if there was silence I always had to start a new one. She asked me couple questions like what time I got to the gym and where did I bought my shoes. Maybe she was busy using her laptop, but she still can talk to me without having silence. Even this week I had to initiate the conversation right after class. Ok, maybe she had to go to her next class, but she could at least ask me about my stolen bike. Although she told me she would like to post my stolen bike flyers on Friday, I could tell she's not interested in helping me. She even asked me, "What about your roommates?" I had to do it ASAP because I couldn't wait until Friday to post it. I didn't end up having her to help me. Another thing is that, since I asked her out on a date, she hasn't mention about it. I don't know about you, Cutiepie1976, or anyone you know if you say you're busy after a guy asked you out, do you come back to him and tell him when you are available or do you wait for him to ask again? I'm not trying to be a jerk, but if she walked up to you and said she hated you and punched you square in the balls and walked away, I think you would think, "She must like me, she touched my balls". It's very clear she is keeping enough contact to get a free meal. Honestly if if were you i would walk and never talk or respond to her again. When she asks if you have points left for food I would ask if she was f*cked in the head or joking. Look, when someone is not interested in you they will usually do all the things you have described to show you how you they don't want to spend time with you unless they are getting something. It's not like they will just come out and tell you that you repulse them or that they find you boring or you annoy the hell out of them, they will just prove to you time and time again by NOT DOING ANYTHING WITH YOU. If you want to have future success learn to have pride in yourself and move on to something better rather than torturing yourself over someone who clearly is using you.
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 (edited) Another thing is that, since I asked her out on a date, she hasn't mention about it. I don't know about you, Cutiepie1976, or anyone you know if you say you're busy after a guy asked you out, do you come back to him and tell him when you are available or do you wait for him to ask again? You are right. I don't always think to suggest an alternative. I often forget in the moment...but I still usually give signs of my interest. I am at the passive end of the spectrum and will not directly ask a guy out, but I give fairly clear clues of my interest. Flash, there's absolutely nothing wrong with asking someone out multiple times when you are given an ambiguous answer. I actually recommend it! You want to make sure that the person isn't interested. Sometimes, she might be on the fence, and I will say that a guy who persisted when I was only mildly interested, has occasionally gotten me to reconsider. I can think of at least a couple of relationships that started that way for me. Give it two or three tries before you give up. Obviously if she's mean and nasty on the first rejection, just move on. If she clearly says some version of I don't want to date you, then stop. Most rejections are polite. Most women won't deliberately be harsh. A polite "no" is still a "no." What bothered me about this girl in particular was the fact that she was clearly using you even though she wasn't interested. Even if you dated her, it would have been a terrible experience because she would clearly just be dating you for what she could get from the arrangement. That's why I was so direct about stopping. She's not a good person. You clearly are. You deserve better. Here's my personal tip when you keep getting ambiguous responses rather than a definitive yes or no from a particular girl: "I'd like to take you on a date. When are you free?" You make your intention clear, and by being flexible about working with her calendar, you prevent her from wriggling out by claiming busyness or a scheduling conflict. Three possible responses: YES: "How about blah-blah-blah day?" Then lock down a specific time, or you will be right back to nailing Jello fruitlessly to the wall. MAYBE: "I don't know," "Let me check my calendar," "I'm so busy right now," or other non-answer fluff. Most likely she has no interest, but possibly she is on the fence. She hasn't slammed the door shut, so you shouldn't either if you hope to date her. Just leave the ball in her court. "When you figure it out, you know where to find me. We can plan a date then." Then drop it. If she changes her mind, you've told her to find you. She will...if she's interested. In the meanwhile, start looking for another friendly girl to approach. Don't pine away over someone who is undecided about you. NO: "Let's be friends." "I don't see you that way." Any direct or indirect version of no? Game over. Find someone new to pursue. You're in school. Find another friendly girl to approach. They are everywhere. Good luck! I'm sure you'll have a nice girlfriend very soon! Edited February 10, 2013 by Cutiepie1976
Author flashx80 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 You are right. I don't always think to suggest an alternative. I often forget in the moment...but I still usually give signs of my interest. I am at the passive end of the spectrum and will not directly ask a guy out, but I give fairly clear clues of my interest. Flash, there's absolutely nothing wrong with asking someone out multiple times when you are given an ambiguous answer. I actually recommend it! You want to make sure that the person isn't interested. Sometimes, she might be on the fence, and I will say that a guy who persisted when I was only mildly interested, has occasionally gotten me to reconsider. I can think of at least a couple of relationships that started that way for me. Give it two or three tries before you give up. Obviously if she's mean and nasty on the first rejection, just move on. If she clearly says some version of I don't want to date you, then stop. Most rejections are polite. Most women won't deliberately be harsh. A polite "no" is still a "no." What bothered me about this girl in particular was the fact that she was clearly using you even though she wasn't interested. Even if you dated her, it would have been a terrible experience because she would clearly just be dating you for what she could get from the arrangement. That's why I was so direct about stopping. She's not a good person. You clearly are. You deserve better. Here's my personal tip when you keep getting ambiguous responses rather than a definitive yes or no from a particular girl: "I'd like to take you on a date. When are you free?" You make your intention clear, and by being flexible about working with her calendar, you prevent her from wriggling out by claiming busyness or a scheduling conflict. Three possible responses: YES: "How about blah-blah-blah day?" Then lock down a specific time, or you will be right back to nailing Jello fruitlessly to the wall. MAYBE: "I don't know," "Let me check my calendar," "I'm so busy right now," or other non-answer fluff. Most likely she has no interest, but possibly she is on the fence. She hasn't slammed the door shut, so you shouldn't either if you hope to date her. Just leave the ball in her court. "When you figure it out, you know where to find me. We can plan a date then." Then drop it. If she changes her mind, you've told her to find you. She will...if she's interested. In the meanwhile, start looking for another friendly girl to approach. Don't pine away over someone who is undecided about you. NO: "Let's be friends." "I don't see you that way." Any direct or indirect version of no? Game over. Find someone new to pursue. You're in school. Find another friendly girl to approach. They are everywhere. Good luck! I'm sure you'll have a nice girlfriend very soon! Ok you give your signs of interest and let the guy know you're interested in him even though you don't suggest an alternative. But what if she is playing hard to get? That's the difference So what you're saying is, if I persist there might be a chance that she might reconsider and accept the date because I had the confidence to ask her out again? I don't think she's using me. In fact, she's a nice person. She was actually helping me out to use my meal points before the end of the semester. If I don't get to finish the meal points, it will be wasted because it doesn't roll over to next semester. It wasn't like she doesn't want to return me a favor. The day when we ate lunch together, I asked her if she could drive me to my next class. She told me that I should tell her earlier because she had to pick her sister up from school, but agreed to do it anyways. Thanks for the wonderful tips. You made me reconsider to ask her out again. Hopefully she won't give me vague answers. Since this will be the second time I asked her out, would this be okay? "Since you were busy the first week of school, are you free this Friday or the weekend?" If she comes up an excuse again, that fall into "Maybe" category? I will tell her, "If you ever figure it out, you know where to find me." Hopefully she doesn't think I'm too desperate. I hope she'll accept my request because I usually won't ask a girl out unless I hang out with them. Those who are your classmates are usually come and go, and it's hard to communicate with them if there is no group projects
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 (edited) You can't possibly be serious! She has said NO twice!! In addition, she has given so many signs of disinterest that it's clear she has ZERO...yes, ZERO..interest in actually dating you. She has also demonstrated that she will use you to the extent that she can! Rest assured that"no" means "no" even when delivered politely. You are the reason why some women start getting nasty, rude, and mean in their rejections. Seriously dude, it's the first week of the semester! She has zero time for a date with you then?? Come on. It's not like it's exam time! If she said sorry, but I have to clean my toilet, you'd read that as interest and persist. As the other poster said, if she kicked you in the balls as she said, "I'm busy," you would interpret that as interest because...well, she touched your balls. Please get a clue! At any rate, using the "since you were busy last week" statement just underlines how clueless you are and how desperately you want to become her doormat. It's saying, no matter how ludicrous your excuse becomes, I'll continue to beg you to date me. It's unappealing...begging is unappealing. Begging for a pity date, which you are now doing is even worse. Stop it!! Stop being her lackey pandering to her whims and jumping as soon as she needs something done. It's impossible to respect someone who does that and allows you to mistreat or exploit them...who welcomes it in fact. What you are doing ultimately breeds contempt, not attraction. Just stop it! When I said guys persisted successfully I didn't mean they begged. They asked. Got a not sure. Asked again. Still not a yes/no. Made it clear that they liked me and would not change their mind, but otherwise went about their business. They didn't turn into my dependable personal assistants, jumping to do my bidding every time I whimpered. They had self-respect and were crystal clear about their boundaries in spite of their feelings. Please learn when to walk away! Stop this charade of wishful thinking! Please! ETA: Persistence only works when there is already interest! When there is zero interest (as is clear with this girl), it's just repulsive and you are viewed as creepy, desperate, clingy, pathetic...whatever. When there is interest (I noticed you conveniently ignored the requirement that interest already clearly exist via some signs from her), it MIGHT work if done right. Begging and becoming someone's errand boy is not the way to get there. Period. Move on! Edited February 10, 2013 by Cutiepie1976 1
ChatroomHero Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Read CutiePie's post, she nailed it exactly. You said in one post something to the effect of the difference being if she is "playing hard to get". She is playing impossible to get. I guess at this point i'll give you what you are looking for: After reconsidering everything you wrote, yes, she is just playing hard to get. When women play hard to get they always refuse to have any contact with you but will agree to let you buy them meals or drinks to show their hidden interest. They will often not agree to a date because they like you too much. When you ask them to help you with something their boundless love will make them shy away and suggest you have someone else help you. They will pretend to be too busy to see you because they are so in love with you they cannot express it. They will agree to play sports with you and when they get there tell you to play with someone else and ignore you when you try to talk to them, (in your case she was likely planning your wedding when she was ignoring you). If she was not interested she would never hold a conversation with you. Women only converse with people they are in love with. I think the only question now is how much can you afford to spend on an engagement ring. I'm sure she will accept it, she might pawn it, but she'll accept it. There is the answer you have been waiting for. Now go forth and spend as much money on her as you can, she clearly is completely in love with you and is waiting for you to prove your love before she shows a shred of interest in you. I am sure one day out of the blue she is going to call you up and profess her love and do a 180. All the signs are there, she is clearly in love with you. Good luck. 2
Author flashx80 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 (edited) You guys are right. She's not interested in me. When I asked her out on her birthday, that night she went to play badminton with her friends. It was last day of the badminton club, so I guess she had to go there. The next day she had to study for the finals, which was the following week. If she's that busy I don't think she would of gone and play badminton Friday before finals week. There's always next semester. I understand that the first time when I asked her out it was bad timing. However, the second time when I asked her out during first week of school she didn't suggest to have the date on Friday. She was available on that day because she ended up playing badminton again. All this time I thought it was bad timing because I asked her out right before finals week and during first week of school. But she somehow have the time to play badminton the day before. What's worse is that the day after I asked her out, I texted her if she could post my stolen bike flyers around the campus with me. I even walked with her to her next class once or twice. What the hell am I doing? Edited February 11, 2013 by flashx80
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 11, 2013 Posted February 11, 2013 What the hell am I doing? Well, every time I get my hopes up, your next post sends me a doozy. I am hoping for progress this time... You are going to ask a different friendly girl in your life, who you find attractive, to go out on a date with you. Yes? We are going to leave this other girl alone? Right? Good luck, tiger!
Author flashx80 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 Well, every time I get my hopes up, your next post sends me a doozy. I am hoping for progress this time... You are going to ask a different friendly girl in your life, who you find attractive, to go out on a date with you. Yes? We are going to leave this other girl alone? Right? Good luck, tiger! I hope she doesn't view me as a desperate guy for the things I asked her to do with me and walk with her to her next class. Yes, I'm going to move on and ask a different girl. It's going to be alittle harder because I'd rather ask a girl out whom I hang out with. The girls that are your classmates usually come and go.
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