should i not talk to him anymore? will he miss me?

[meganright99]

Okay we'll it started about a year ago senior year and I started talking to this boy in one of my classes and we could tell we made a connection right away. We started talking and hanging and seeing each other but I never fell in love with him or had the feelings he had for me. I told him I wanted to be friends but we still saw each other during that time and had feeling for each other. I was in senior year "party mode" durning the summer and Hooked up with 2 of his friends which really hurt him but I didn't want a relationship with him and told him that. We continued to talk until I left for college which was hard for both of us because we became really close almost like best friends but always had more feelings for each other. We were always off and on while I was away and every time I came home to visit I avoided seeing him because I felt bad I couldn't love him like he loved me and avoided the physical part of the relationship. Meanwhile he suffers from major depression and always told me I was the only thing that made him happy and kept him going. Which was alot of pressure for me. It's almost like he started to bring me down with him and I feared falling into depression myself. I saw him change and keep getting worse and told him he Should seek help because it was too much for me. So we finally cut everything off and he started seeing someone else which broke my heart. I didn't realize how much he truly meant to me and how much I loved him until he was gone. I told him that and agreed to come home from college to be with him because that's all I wanted I didn't care about anything else and that's what he wanted to even though he explained he had a hard time trusting I would be committed to him and not change my mind about wanting to be together like I always did in the past. I was home for 2 days when came back from college for him and hung out with him 1 time and he sat me down and told me he no longer loved me or felt the way he used to. He said he was a different person when he fell in love with me and now he thinks his depression is keeping him from Being able to feel love and happiness like he used to. He was really sad and said too me to never forget how amazing I was for him and how much I did for him. It's hard for me to lose a best friend and going from talking every second of the day to not at all. I just wonder if he's missing me and if I keep not talking to him if hell come around. I know I hurt him a lot In the past but loosing all feelings for me in a 24 hour period just doesn't seem logical? I don't know whether to hold on or let go. I haven talked to him since out talk its been a couple days it's just been really hard. It seems dumb to loose someone so close just because we didn't work out romantically. He said to tell him if I ever feel okay enough to be friends and tell him I'm okay every once in a while because he cares about me. But I've just been trying not to talk to him in hopes hell miss me and come back.