Can players be considerate about a girl's feelings?

[stevie_23]

Sure they can. But what it comes down to is as long as it’s not TOO much of a stretch for them and their own needs and fun and enjoyment, they can be lovely and considerate to a girl. But once it becomes unpleasant, they will do something to either hurt you (not intentionally, but just carelessly and selfishly) or they’ll leave you.

 

The above paragraph pertains to players who are with a primary partner and who are serial cheats or who are serial temporary monogamists who move on quickly when the enjoyment level dips.

 

On another side though are players who want to remain single and inform girls of this. They do not want a relationship and try not to lead anyone on or give the impression that they do, because it will not end happily. These guys I have no issue with because they’re just being honest. They can be considerate of a girl’s feelings as long as they’re honest from the start. If a girl falls in love and wants more, well…there’s not much he can do about it.

[GingerVixen]

Hey, it is NOT because you were not good enough!!!!!!!!!!

 

You ARE attractive and interesting enough - for the right guy!

 

 

Thank you dear. He's a reporter, he works in a very famous tv channel, he's on tv, he has contact with many actresses and tv presenters... so I just felt like a stupid little ant trying to draw his attention. I've cried for months because of him . Now I'm healed but I'm still intrigued about his attitude. Thank you for your words!

[candie13]

Do you know why I don't want to delete him? Because I've done it once. Then I talked to him and apologized and we started talking again . This story is full of ups and downs. I don't wanna delete him again because when I did it he made it clear he didn't give a damn about it, and he would think "ha ha she got really pissed".

 

I never said DELETE, I said BLOCK .

 

No more talking to him. No more apologies. NO CONTACT. Familiar with the concept?

 

I think you may be a bit too strong on him now and you can't. Ok... take your time and think about it.

 

But you cannot play and win this game. The only thing you can win, now, is TIME. the sooner you start NC, the sooner the healing begins.

 

But you have to be strong. Decided. Like a rock. I can't do it for you. Leigh can't do it for you. No one can do it at your place. You need to do this yourself!

 

Take your time to think about it. Like really think. Get ready. And when you feel you are ready, GO FOR IT. Everything. FB, Instagram, chat, skype, telephone number, email, EVERYTHING. DOWN THE DRAIN.

 

Fight! So what if you got weaker in the past? Learn to love and accept yourself. And to moooove on !

[Woggle]

Most players are like the guy at the electronics store that gets you to buy an expensive piece of crap but by spouting a bunch of high tech mumbo jumbo. Sure it sounds good when they are saying it but at the end of the day you still bought a piece of crap. Players can spout out a bunch of wonderful sounding lines but at the end you still get played.

[candie13]

well, at least if you had a decent amount of fun, it won't look so bad when it's over .

No need to get dramatic or judgmental, it's life, it sucks, it's beautiful, it's terrible... and will end up killing you, one day!

[candie13]

hey, GingerV, can I ask a few questions about your flame? I would like to send you a PM, but I see you don't have that privilege yet.

 

What type of a family did he come from - broken family or solid together? Brothers or sisters? Was the the youngest or oldest? It's important for me, to see if there's a pattern between your flame and mine - not just at the level of the behavior, but also at the level of upbringing - family and education.

 

I hope you do not find these questions too personal or invasive.

 

Thank you!

 

Candie

[H3Drvr]

Oh please!

 

It is stupid to play games with a man who does not want you! Nothing will make the OP the right girl for him.

 

 

.. I think players would stop and be with a girl if the girl made him feel strong enough about them...

 

 

Why bother with this guy, he is clearly the wrong guy for her!

 

 

Maybe play games she really does find a guy who is into her, and who cares about her a lot...

 

 

He does not care much about this girl; playing games will not make his feelings change....

 

In the "game", its all about projecting an image of desirability...and in many cases, its all just an illusion.

 

But you actually missed my point. What I was attempting to convey is that games are stupid and doesnt benefit anyone looking for a real RS.

 

OP: as I said earlier, it takes a certain type of mentality to play in this game. You sound like a sweet young woman so I would say skip over this guy.

[Simon Phoenix]

You wanna play the player?

 

Give him reason to want you. Play into his psyche...by giving into his sexual desires but not all the way...give the boy some blue balls. Sexting is a good start, maybe some risqué pics (careful on this one). When he comes biting on your line, pull back a little. Give in just enough to picque his interest. Keep repeating this game.

 

Also, make yourself appear desirable to other men by surrounding yourself with a handful of potential suitors. Make sure he sees/knows this.

 

But be careful and always keep your goal in sight.

 

Winning the game takes skill and a heart of stone, so if you can't handle the game, cut bait and move on to men...not boys. Hard truth, your friend is not looking for more friends, he's looking for more conquests...despite his seemingly noble gestures.

 

This has disaster written all over it. She needs to get away from this guy, not try to beat him at his own game. She'll lose and she'll lose badly. She's become the classic cliche' -- the girl who falls for the player thinking that she can change him into what she wants. Guys that are players feed off of that and the general insecurities of women who want to try to do that.

[BarbecueMan666]

Ok, your lost post definitely hit something in me "It would show him I care" (the removing him from friends etc.

Quite honestly, you need to do what's best for you. You can't think about what you do from his perspective, I honestly think removing this character from your life for now, given what's happened is probably for the best.

 

Obviously lending online advice to strangers with only fractions of the story is tough, and receiving advice is even tougher, and hell, accepting it is one of the hardest things to go through.

 

I'm a man, my ex of 5 weeks currently still follows me, is friended to me and such, and if she chose to remove me, it wouldn't send off some signals like "oh she still cares!" For me it would just be, "that's how she needs to deal with it, and so she's doing it" - and I think the same vice versa would apply.

 

What you do from this point on has to be about what's best for you, not some mind game where you think about him, or how what you do affects him.

That's my personal take on it at least.

[Sugarkane]

Players aren't considerate of women's feelings, that's why theyre called players in the first place.

[Sugarkane]

Why would you want a player back anyway? They are users with no conscience. I hope all players get someone pregnant and then taken for a ride for child support.

[GingerVixen]

hey, GingerV, can I ask a few questions about your flame? I would like to send you a PM, but I see you don't have that privilege yet.

 

What type of a family did he come from - broken family or solid together? Brothers or sisters? Was the the youngest or oldest? It's important for me, to see if there's a pattern between your flame and mine - not just at the level of the behavior, but also at the level of upbringing - family and education.

 

I hope you do not find these questions too personal or invasive.

 

Thank you!

 

Candie

 

I think he's come from a broken family. His parents are married but they don't live with him, and they don't seem to be very close to him. He tries to show he has a very close relationship with his mother but it's weird, he doesn't live with her and he barely visits her. She has cancer and from time to time he would talk to me about her and I would comfort him, he would say I was pure bliss to his life, this kind of thing. He always told me he was very much like her, that he doesn't get along with his father like he does with his mother.

He has a sister, she's younger than him. His sister lives far away from him. He used to tell me that when he visited her , she wouldn't make any efforts to make him or his mother feel comfortable. I don't believe this very much. He loves, adores his niece. Almost obsessed with the baby, takes many pictures cuddling and kissing the little girl.

[GingerVixen]

Ok, your lost post definitely hit something in me "It would show him I care" (the removing him from friends etc.

Quite honestly, you need to do what's best for you. You can't think about what you do from his perspective, I honestly think removing this character from your life for now, given what's happened is probably for the best.

 

Obviously lending online advice to strangers with only fractions of the story is tough, and receiving advice is even tougher, and hell, accepting it is one of the hardest things to go through.

 

I'm a man, my ex of 5 weeks currently still follows me, is friended to me and such, and if she chose to remove me, it wouldn't send off some signals like "oh she still cares!" For me it would just be, "that's how she needs to deal with it, and so she's doing it" - and I think the same vice versa would apply.

 

What you do from this point on has to be about what's best for you, not some mind game where you think about him, or how what you do affects him.

That's my personal take on it at least.

 

You know, yesterday I thought over what you all said and what my friends said.. I can't stand thinking about this anymore.

I came to the conclusion that he just stopped talking to me because I'm not like the other girls who lick his feet. When he would ask me "when will we sleep together?" after only one week talking to each other, I would say "I'm not this kind of girl". And now it's clear to him that I just see him as a friend - and trust me, I ONLY SEE HIM AS A FRIEND! Why am I still insisting to talk to him ? Because I have this philosophy to cherish everything and everybody in my life... Maybe I have to learn how to let some people go... Especially the ones who hurt me.

 

But anyway, I guess he realized that I will not sleep with him + I know he's a player + I wanna be friends and he's already told me that he DOES NOT want to be friends with me. I think he's seen himself in a friend zone and thus he doesn't want to talk to me if I have put in the friend zone.

 

I didn't want to friend-zone him, I'm dealing with him this way because although I really appreciate him as a person I can't trust him as a partner. But if he doesn't want to talk to me, that means he despises me, if he despises me,

why like all my pictures ? That's what I would like to understand. Is he trying to draw my attention? Is he just being a contradictory douche?

 

Buy now I've officially given up, I'm not going to beg for his friendship anymore, we grow up when we learn how to let go.

[pteromom]

one of them told me that maybe he's the kind of guy who knows he's a player and he knows I'm nice and that I was really having true feelings for him, therefore he doesn't want to play me or hurt my feelings so he decided to be distant. She told me that he now feels a lot of respect for me so maybe that's why he decided to stop talking to me - he doesn't want to play with my heart and doesn't want me to have expectations about him.

 

My question is: can players be this "considerate" about a girl's feelings? Can they think and operate this way? I'm really intrigued. Thanks for the help.

 

Oh boy.

 

Firstly, OF COURSE they can be "considerate". They would be failures as players if they couldn't be. They say whatever they need to say to get what they want.

 

But I really doubt that he isn't talking to you because he respects you too much. He isn't interested, or he would be talking to you. Period. He is motivated by what he wants. He likes your posts on FB because they are funny or cute or whatever, not to send you a message that he's interested.

 

He may respect you, but that has little to do with why he doesn't contact you. If he tells you he will initiate contact then doesn't, it's because he doesn't feel motivation to initiate contact. And he's a liar.

[pteromom]

I don't even think he's the type who would fall for a super hot girl. The way I see him, he would never fall in love with anybody, he's in love with himself. What hurts me is that I feel stupid now and I just wanted to find a way not to feel stupid.

 

And I must tell you the truth, I feel a little bad to know that I wasn't attractive or interesting enough to make him fall for me like I did for him. I'm honest, that hurt me a little and I don't know what to think to make me feel better about it.

 

Why would you feel badly? You said yourself you don't think he is capable of falling for someone because he is in love with himself. So why would you turn that around to meaning something is wrong with YOU because he is emotionally deficient?

 

Do not settle for a "fixer upper" guy, thinking you can help him realize his potential. Do not think that if YOU are good enough, you can somehow make someone else good enough for you.

 

Find someone who cares about you as much as you care about him. Someone who is open to you and wants the same things you want. Someone who is capable of a real relationship. Then, you will find you aren't sitting around confused, because you'll be too busy being happy.

[GingerVixen]

Why would you feel badly? You said yourself you don't think he is capable of falling for someone because he is in love with himself. So why would you turn that around to meaning something is wrong with YOU because he is emotionally deficient?

 

Do not settle for a "fixer upper" guy, thinking you can help him realize his potential. Do not think that if YOU are good enough, you can somehow make someone else good enough for you.

 

Find someone who cares about you as much as you care about him. Someone who is open to you and wants the same things you want. Someone who is capable of a real relationship. Then, you will find you aren't sitting around confused, because you'll be too busy being happy.

 

Yes you're right.

I still think that the main reason he's not talking to me is : he knows I'll never have sex with a guy if I'm not involved in a serious relationship.

I've given up, **** IT, I don't care anymore. Seriously, I've cried for MONTHS for him, I'm literally tired.

[pteromom]

Yes you're right.

I still think that the main reason he's not talking to me is : he knows I'll never have sex with a guy if I'm not involved in a serious relationship.

I've given up, **** IT, I don't care anymore. Seriously, I've cried for MONTHS for him, I'm literally tired.

 

Oh I am certain if he thought you would have sex with him, he'd be tripping over himself initiating contact with you.

 

But that wouldn't be about wanting YOU. It would be about wanting SEX. And you deserve more than that.

[FredRutherford]

I don't even think he's the type who would fall for a super hot girl. The way I see him, he would never fall in love with anybody, he's in love with himself. What hurts me is that I feel stupid now and I just wanted to find a way not to feel stupid.

 

And I must tell you the truth, I feel a little bad to know that I wasn't attractive or interesting enough to make him fall for me like I did for him. I'm honest, that hurt me a little and I don't know what to think to make me feel better about it.

 

And about Facebook... he's the one who added me again...He follows my instagram account as well... likes all my pictures. Why does he do that? I have no idea. It's really f*cked up.

Just be glad you weren't another victim of such players that only want one thing.. then bolt after they get it, littering the highway with their many broken hearts.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/313588-my-awesome-breakthrough-experience-tonight-read-blessed-3.html#post3918938

Originally Posted by

PlumPrincess

you have never been able to attract the women you want. Nice women don't like jerks, no matter how hot they are. What's

so

difficult to understand about it? Quote: Originally Posted by

 

AIDsFan1488

Actually some of them were "nice girls". One girl who I deflowered was really sweet and innocent and the only girl around my age I know who went to church every sunday. Not brilliant, but she wasn't dumb either. [FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]

She threw her virginity away on me instead of all her male church-going Christian friends who were all in love with her,

[/sIZE][/FONT] I never called her back once I got what I wanted. .

That guy was a first-class jerk, taking away a Christian woman's virginity like it was all a game.

That terrible decision was all on that woman, and she knew right from wrong to have a one-night-stand with such a guy, but bet she had BIG regrets giving herself to a player like that, who now is whining about all his regrets.....

 

Wonder how her "church-going" Good Guy friends look in her eyes now ????

 

 

Yes you're right.

I still think that the main reason he's not talking to me is : he knows I'll never have sex with a guy if I'm not involved in a serious relationship.

I've given up, **** IT, I don't care anymore. Seriously, I've cried for MONTHS for him, I'm literally tired.

 

Hey, I feel your pain.

I wasn't a player in any way, shape or form.

I wouldn't take advantage of women and bring them to tears.

A real man stays after he gets what he wants and doesn't only use women for their sexual desires.

I too wanted to date the "Good Girls."

Too bad most of those "good girls" never knew I existed...

Edited March 6, 2013 by FredRutherford