Pucktie215 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Hi all, I broke up with my girlfriend, but would love your honest thoughts. My ex had multiple "guy friends" and that was made know when we met. Although I find 90% of guys want more in my experience, I honestly didn't worry. I've never been jealous and always trusted my previous gfs! I just asked if there was any history with her guy friends that I should be aware of? I was told no, other than a guy in Boston that she hasn't been with since college. So all was cool. At about 6 months, I realized her one married guy texted later at night than would seem normal for a married man. He also didn't look me in the eye when I was around him. I asked again and was told nothing happened ever. One night, he texted at about 2 in the morning and my gf was asleep. I looked in her phone and got my answer. There was sexting right until she met me and he was flirty still. Remember, he is married and so was my gf at one time. Also, this guy is still friends with this gurl's ex-husband. I confronted my gf and told her what I did. She said they had sex in high school and the flirting was wrong and she was embarrassed. I understood and just reiterated that I just needed honesty and that I could handle most things. We worked it out and I moved on. About 5 months later, her friend slips up when I was talking to her. She knew I didn't like this guy and she said, " Don't worry, it was just a physical relationship!" WHAT???? I confronted my now ex and she denied it until I told her what I learned. She admitted that they had an affair right up until I met her. Save any reprimands about snooping. If I was female, it would have been a woman's intuition. I knew that I'd find something and I had never, ever snooped before in my life. My problems were three! First, she had an Affair and was social with this guy's wife STILL! Second, she lied to me even when I expressed my ability to move on with any truth, almost! Third, I was mad because this truth could come out at any time and how unfair to keep me in me dark. I deserved to know what I am getting into. I had been out with this scumbag and his wife. Ugh. Also, her married former FWB from Boston wanted to meet up with her. He hasn't been a faithful husband she admits. I said I had a problem with her getting dinner with a guy who only invited her and didn't even mention her bf. If you've made it through my ramblings, how would you react in my shoes? What are your rules for opposite sex friends and exes with regards to hanging out or with your partner spending time with their exes or opposite sex friends? I loved this woman and know I had to end it. I am monogamous and believe in boundaries. Honesty is also important to me. I'd love your thoughts.
veggirl Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Wow. Yes you were right to dump her. Personally I don't date guys who are BFF with girls. Acquaintences are fine, and it's possible there would be a situation where I'd be cool with him having a really close girl friend but for the most part I just avoid it and it's worked fine for me.
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