AllieKat Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Just an update: my husband has been taking his antidepressants and has agreed to go to marriage counseling. We start Monday! I will offically be excitied when I can actually say we went but this a huge step. I dont see a change yet as far as the AD's but I think they take sometime to get in your system. Its weird yesterday out of nowhere he said I think I can try MC with you if you still want to. I almost fell on the floor. So I set up the appt today and he agreed. We have been getting along well and I have just been being nice not pushing or pressuring. One thing Ive noticed with Dh is the more I let him be the more he seems to want to be around me and etc. Please keep fingers and toes crossed for us. If he indeed goes this is a step in the right direction. I really hope he'll consider IC but one step at a time. 5
tojaz Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 Finally!!!!! Looking forward to hearing how it goes for the two of you Allie. TOJAZ
Author AllieKat Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 So nervous for tomorrow!! Hubby still is the same! Yesterday was his b-day. I wished him happy bday and dd gave him a cool screwdriver case she made in wood shop. He actually accepted it unlike the fathers day gift and he hugged her! Thats progress with her! So nice to see With me he has days were he tells me everything and is chatty and days when he seems very moody and down. He still lets me know if works ot but hes cut back on doing it so he comes home at normal time lately. He let me know if tomorrow makes him feel weird or uncomfortable he wont go back. Its almost like he doesnt want to recon but is going to say he went. I dunno
Author AllieKat Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 I wish I could say it went well but that would not be so. We met and went to MC this afternoon and my hubby looked liked he was being dragged to his death. He was very quiet at first! When asked why he was there ( she asked us both) he said because I wanted him to go and he wasnt there cause he wanted to be and he told the lady no offense but this just isnt something I want to do. She asked if he wants to fix and address our marriages issues and he said " I'm not sure what I want" grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! I feel like I did most of the talking. We pretty much only got into why we were there and what are goals are. My goal was to strengthen out marriage and rebuild trust. His was that he didnt know his goal because he didn't know what he wanted the outcome to be but he hoped if anything hell is goal was to figure out what he wanted. So Tojaz may I borrow the spackle?? I did feel ( maybe Im wrong) that the therapist seemed just fine with his response of not knowing. We set another appt but our insurance is only paying for 1/month so I'm not sure if that will make things harder or not. His mood is OK. quiet. I feel like weve made progress since this summer but I am skeptical that we will continue with progress and that it will get us to an end result.
tojaz Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 >>Tojaz sadly passes along a portion of his newly acquired 55 gallon drum of spackle<< The fact that he was willing to agree to another appointment is still good, even if he does continue to be cryptic. Not much happens in the first session Allie, it's just a chance for the counselor to get their bearings. She will gradually try to ease him in to participating more. If he can stick with it. Even though your insurance only covers a month, most counseling centers are able to offer discounts to those that have to pay out of pocket and are usually able to come to something reasonable that you can afford. Speak to your counselor and see if an arrangement can be made so hubby cannot use that as an excuse to just stonewall until the coverage runs out. TOJAZ 1
Author AllieKat Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 Sorry I meant the insurance only covers one a month.
tojaz Posted February 12, 2013 Posted February 12, 2013 Same advice, if you could get insurance to pick up one and then do one out of pocket. Monthly is an awful lot of gap between sessions
Author AllieKat Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 We could afford to hell if you arent investing in your marriage what else should you invest in.... Im really having anxiety issues again just cause hes working ot tonight and it upsets me. Not sure wth my issue is but no amount if meds/therapy seems to help me. I think my issues growing up just seeing my mom cheat and my dad constantly accusing her of it created this anxiety monster in me. I hate this cause i get the feeling i need to say somtething to him though i got zip info on him.
tojaz Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 We could afford to hell if you arent investing in your marriage what else should you invest in.... Im really having anxiety issues again just cause hes working ot tonight and it upsets me. Not sure wth my issue is but no amount if meds/therapy seems to help me. I think my issues growing up just seeing my mom cheat and my dad constantly accusing her of it created this anxiety monster in me. I hate this cause i get the feeling i need to say somtething to him though i got zip info on him. I think anyone would have anxiety issues in your situation Allie. I think conquering your anxiety is going to be important because right now you are polar opposites with hubby, he's dug his heels in and you want to run at 100 miles per hour. For the therapy to help, for counseling to help, and even just to be able to work together, your going to have to find the middle! TOJAZ
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