JuneJulySeptember Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 So, to not derail another thread any longer, I have decided to make another one about the subject of first dates and women's expectations. Let me first start off by saying that I don't have a problem with this. I'm the kind of guy who likes to try new restaurants and things. I haven't taken a woman to dinner and a movie since I was like 24 or something. But that is because that is where I want to go. Even if the date sucks, I get to go to a cool restaurant and try it. But I have seen a lot of posts from women who would... "cancel the date if it were Olive Garden" Just because I won't take a woman to Olive Garden doesn't mean I don't want a woman who would be OK with Olive Garden as a first date. It's a big difference. I have also seen on other message boards other women who suggest you have to come up with something more interesting than dinner and a movie or you're nexted. So, what's your opinion on women's first date expectations and fulfilling them?
xpaperxcutx Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Some women don't really know what is it they want but they don't want guys to think they're perfectly okay with a coffee date either. Most women like to be treated nicely, even though they don't want to say it straightforwardly. Here's the general thing girls want: They want you to be proactive in deciding where to take them, usually a fancy restaurant is what they have in mind; the price of the places you take them is reflective of how well you are willing to treat a girl. If you can be creative, be so. Instead of dinner, take them for night time activities, like a local fair or ice skating in the park. Women like to be stimulated just as much as men, and they like the fact you put in the time and thought to make the first date memorable. Here's a good advice: You can treat a girl well without being a doormat for them. As long as the date was thoughtful, you needn't go overboard with your wallet. Creativity is the keyword here, sometimes an exciting activity like rock climbing is enough to make a girl want to find out what a second date with you is like.
candie13 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I find dinner way too strong for a first date. After work drinks at a local wine bar, or even drinks and some tapas, to have a bite, would be perfect for me. I want to enjoy a good glass of wine and sort of hope for some decent conversation. Second date: movies and drinks, if the movie was early. Third date: smth outside, laid back, to have more time to talk - a walk in a park, skating, skiing, visiting a castle or a nice exhibit outside I don't know, dinner is very forced, very "we're dating and I'm really interested in your pants" type of thing... I'd keep the arm munition for later, when it's need and necessary.
clia Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 My expectation is that the guy have a plan. That's really it. I will happily go wherever he invites me, without complaint, even if it is not my kind of place. After all, on a first date he doesn't even know me or what I like. I don't at all mind him asking me what I want to do or if there is a restaurant I like or what I am in the mood for. That's fine. But he should take that, run with it, and make a decision. For a first date, I prefer to meet for drinks after work on a week night, with the option of extending it to dinner if things are going well and we feel like continuing the date. Therefore, I would expect him to pick a place to meet for drinks. That place should either serve food, or he should have a different place or two close by (walking distance) in mind where we can go get food and wouldn't have to wait more than 10-15 minutes for a table. (I live in the city, so places get crowded for dinner, even on week nights. I wouldn't be impressed with a guy who suggested one of the most popular restaurants, dragged me over there, found out there was a two hour wait, so then we have to pick somewhere else, etc. That kind of logistical problem is annoying on a first date and I hate having to deal with it.) If we are only having dinner, I expect him to make a reservation. What I don't like is a guy calling me up an hour before we are supposed to meet saying "So, what do you want to do?" or "So, where do you want to meet?" Don't put the ball in my court to pick a place. You choose a place. If you want my opinion, that's fine, though. (i.e., "Hey, i was thinking we could meet at either X or Y. Any preference?"; or "Any preference on which neighborhood we meet in?" or "How do you feel about going ice skating?")
curlygirl40 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I'm not sure if some of this has to do with my age (40's) or my simple upbringing or what. But I am at a point in my life where my kids are almost grown and I can support myself. I'm not looking for someone to support me, or to save me, or to complete me, or to be a father to my kids. I am looking for someone who will be a good partner for me. So therefore a first date to me is all about meeting the guy (I do a lot of OLD) and getting to know him. I'm a simple girl who usually will just dress up a pair of jeans no matter where I go. So a small restaurant/pub and some good conversation will suit me fine. Lunch, coffee, some hot cocoa and a walk in the park. It's all good. A guy doesn't have to do anything to impress me. I just want to get to know him in a relaxed environment. I'm sure the replies will be all over the place. But that's me.
sillyanswer Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Here's the general thing girls want: Women like to be stimulated just as much as men, and they like the fact you put in the time and thought to make the first date memorable. Agreed, from my experience. Many women want the date to be non-generic... which is perhaps where the Not Olive Garden thing comes from. Small family-run restaurants tend to be more memorable than going to a large chain restaurant (and hopefully the food is good, too). Creativity is the keyword here, sometimes an exciting activity like rock climbing is enough to make a girl want to find out what a second date with you is like. I've done rock climbing as a first date... and I found that climbing with a new person for the first time is more nerve-wracking than sex with a new person for the first time.
Treasa Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I've been at my sexual peak for something like eight years now, with no signs of it slowing down. The faster you're naked, the happier I am. Don't give a crap about dinner. 2
candie13 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I've done rock climbing as a first date... and I found that climbing with a new person for the first time is more nerve-wracking than sex with a new person for the first time. well, at least that kept you entertained ! Did she break anything?
pbjbear Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I have no expectations on a first date other than to enjoy myself
candie13 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I personally don't care, I'll pick somewhere to go and you can either come or suggest something else and I'll consider it. I find it extremely satisfying when she suggests we go somewhere really expensive, the look on their face when they realize im not paying their way is hilarious. you're def having sex afterwards, don't you ?
sillyanswer Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 well, at least that kept you entertained ! Did she break anything? Thankfully we both escaped unharmed.
candie13 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Thankfully we both escaped unharmed. except for her ego... perhaps?
todreaminblue Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I go easy on a guy on a first date, I know what it feels like to be anxious and nervous because i will be the same way, and when someone is nervous my natural reaction is to want to make them feel at ease, i usually do this by saying goofy things.......i can mask nervousness pretty well, a fancy restaurant is not my ideal first date,neither is a coffee anymore, i don't expect a guy to flash his wallet, doesn't impress me,what would impress me is if the guy realized i was just as nervous and tried to relax me that would be a treat....i expect a guy to be himself, my first dates have never been short.......i went on a date a few years ago the guy took me to a look out, it was raining, enjoyed the view enjoyed the rain the smells the sounds the conversation even, politics were a bit heavy, when he started pawing me....lost interest, i dont mean holding hands or a casual touch but going for the grope on a first date....deal breaker..the ice cream was nice though, he wasnt a bad guy.....just a bit like an octopus..and he was a scout leader i expected a bit of restraint......tsk tsk.......deb 1
candie13 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 The only place im willing to pay for sex is a brothel, the only person a prostitute. well, it depends, if a meal for her costs you 50 dollars and you take her out twice, maybe three times... and get sex afterwards... and actually after the third date you go dutch and continue to have sex... like twice a weak for another month or so... yeah, I see your point, going to a brothel and paying for a prostitute is a LOT more expensive, on the long run ! never thought about it that way, what do you know, algebra ! 1
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