Rjt Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I met my boyfriend when we were both with other people (ashamed) We eventually split with our partners after a year of sneaking about & him on 2 seperate occasions, to-ing & fro-ing. In April last year after 4 months apart & us both being on our own, we tried again. We both put our heart & soul into it & in July i was rushed to hospital with suspected appendicitis. It was an etopic pregnancy & resulted in a full hysterectomy. Im only 28. I told no-one, stating it was a ruptured cyst. As the months have went by, the pressure has increased & i feel like im in a nightmare:( We have become snappy & after Christmas he confronted me&stated things were getting out of hand & the bickering had to stop. The last few weeks have been horrible-he was getting lots of pressure from his ex/childs mother about us being together & he then, out the blue stated we were over. The day he announced this was the day our baby would have been due & i just exploded& blurted it out to him. He then stormed out & ignored my calls, txts & emails for a week. Then last Sunday he texted very drunk to say how i had ruined his life, he couldnt believe i had hid it from him etc & he was going to do his best to get his family back together once & for all. Hes now changed his number& cut all contact. Not only am i still grieving for my loss, i feel like he has destroyed me. Ive had relationships before but have never loved anyone as much as him or felt this heartbroken. I only kept it from him as i didnt want him to wrongly think id tried to trap him with a baby & it went wrong (i hadnt!) & as the months went on it was just so hard. I feel like hes let the pressure of hos ex get to him & is now punishing me & blaming my secret on our split. The fact he has also turned his back completely on me & cut all ties hurts so badly:( I havent eaten in days, i need alcohol to sleep & all i do is cry or fantasise about him coming back, which i know when i think clearly, he's not Please help me get through as i dont think im strong enough Xx
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