Holly Heart Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I am recently in my 40s and also recently divorced. I want to get out on the dating field again, but I'm feeling quite rusty. Also, I don't know how to date when I now have kids! Are any other women having the same problems? If you do, how have you handled it? Help please!
Emilia Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Are any other women having the same problems? If you do, how have you handled it? Expanding social circle and talking to as many men as possible.
Author Holly Heart Posted February 6, 2013 Author Posted February 6, 2013 I've been out of the game for a while now, but I've been trying to meet more men. Do you have any tips on how I should behave towards them? I mean, how can I really attract them?
Emilia Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Do you have any tips on how I should behave towards them? I mean, how can I really attract them? No. You have to work out your own way and your own style. The best thing to do is interacting with as many as possible by creating as many opportunities as possible.
ChessPieceFace Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Many guys will pass you over since you have kids and/or since you are divorced. I don't blame them. Any guy is facing a mountain of animosity from your kids who will blame him just for the fact that he's not their father. That's part of the reality of divorce. I know a divorced woman who tries and fails endlessly to make anything work, and her kids are grown and not much of an issue. The problem is with her. I don't believe she will ever find happiness until she looks inside herself and fixes what's wrong - the same problems which contributed to her divorce in the first place.
NiceGuyDTW Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I am recently in my 40s and also recently divorced. I want to get out on the dating field again, but I'm feeling quite rusty. Also, I don't know how to date when I now have kids! Are any other women having the same problems? If you do, how have you handled it? Help please! I'm 40 male. I have 2 kids. At one point I dated a 41 y.o.. She had 4 kids, one of which was 19, all others were from 8-15. I think the biggest problem is finding time to go out to meet people. If that's not an issue, the first thing you gotta do is make sure you are ready to date. And what I mean by that is are you dating because you WANT to be with someone or NEED to be with someone. You really got to be honest with yourself, and make sure this is what you want. You need to have a positive attitude, be outgoing, work out, get in shape. Make yourself the best you can be. Join a club or get on coed sports teams. Or take classes, like dance, where you know men will be at. Basically, you put yourself out there and soon enough you'll start making friends...even if they're with married women. They will likely know of single men. I believe this is the best way to meet someone. Of course the other option is OLD, but if you look through the posts here you'll see that it's hit or miss at best. Good luck to you, and hope you'll find success.
FitChick Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 If you value your children, don't bring men to your house until you are ready to get engaged.
curlygirl40 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I'm in my 40's and relatively recently divorced as well. I have been on line dating now for 2.5 years. I haven't had a problem. (well, I'm still single, but I digress). I have met soooo many great guys in the same position that I am in. 40's and newly dating again. I'm assuming your kids' father will have them sometimes, weekends or whatever. Use that time to date. I agree, do not introduce anyone to your kids until you know that he will be in your life for some time. The last thing you want to do is have your kids see a revolving door of guys in the house. For now, keep your love life and your time with your kids separate. YES, that creates challenges as far as time that you have to date. But it's the smartest thing to do, IMO. But don't worry, there are many guys out there that will be willing to date you even if you have kids. Because they have kids also. My kids are a little older (teens) but I still keep everything separate. I can leave them home alone since they are older (one in college), but I will tell them I'm going out with friends, etc. Eventually (just recently) I did tell them that I was going to start dating and they were o.k with it. They still haven't met any of these men and they won't until I'm in a serious relationship. Good luck!!
Recommended Posts