meeji Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 She texted me after a few days of no contact saying how she is sorry for ignoring me and didn't mean to hurt me. Yet she still kept the door open by saying she is just confused right now and hopes she can figure it out and she knows that I'm a great guy. So do I wait for her to clear her head or just move on even though I don't want to? No. Do what you want. If you don't want to wait for her to make up her mind, don't. You have to think about yourself and how much damage this person can do to you. No one is going to look after you like you. Don't put your happiness in someone's hands who isn't looking out for your best interest.
Author confused836 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 You're right. I think I'm looking to her to fulfill me or make my life more balanced which is the wrong way of going about things. Being in school feels like a 24/7 job and I really don't have any balance in my life. Having her even though for just a short amount really made life more enjoyable. But I can't depend on someone like that especially with the biggest test of my life coming up in a few months. I'm just not good at letting go or breaking up. I only had to break up with someone once and that dragged on for months because I couldn't cleanly cut her off.
meeji Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Its hard. No one is judging you. We all kinda drag along for a while until we finally get ourselves together. You should all ties with your ex if you really want to move on.
Author confused836 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 Ok you're right. I'm only 23, I'm in med school, and I have a (hopefully) great future ahead of me. I'll try to cut her off completely and stay as positive as I can. Even though I thought this girl was everything I was looking for..
meeji Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 I know. Everything happens for a reason and if the relationship ended, there probably is a good reason for that we can't see now. Once we've moved on all the pieces will fall into place. You can count on that. Its just a matter of time.
Author confused836 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 Does anyone else think I should wait for this girl?
Simon Phoenix Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Absolutely not. This girl is bad, bad news dude. She's flaked on you twice. How many times do you need to be kicked in the balls by her before you have enough? Basically, she fooled you once. Shame on her. She fooled you again. Shame on you. At this point, you are just a glutton for punishment.
Author confused836 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 I agree with you except for one thing: Have you ever felt that you met someone who you thought was the perfect fit for you? I honestly felt/feel this way about this girl. I mean everything I'm looking for (except the flaking) well she checks off every single box. And I can't get over everything she told me and what we did. You don't introduce me to your friends, to your family, talk about long term, talk about how we will handle seeing each other in a few years once we graduate, talk about how she met the perfect guy in me, etc. How could she say all those things and be confused. I'm trying to wrap my mind around it and its pissing me off. And its driving me crazy. I can't let a girl control my thoughts and feelings like this. But I swear I honestly thought this could go somewhere. She initiated everything. Then left. How the hell can she get my hopes up like that and just bail. Its not fair.
fancy feast Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 Yeah, you already gave it a second chance. Personally, that's the cutoff for me.
Simon Phoenix Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 I agree with you except for one thing: Have you ever felt that you met someone who you thought was the perfect fit for you? I honestly felt/feel this way about this girl. I mean everything I'm looking for (except the flaking) well she checks off every single box. And I can't get over everything she told me and what we did. You don't introduce me to your friends, to your family, talk about long term, talk about how we will handle seeing each other in a few years once we graduate, talk about how she met the perfect guy in me, etc. How could she say all those things and be confused. I'm trying to wrap my mind around it and its pissing me off. And its driving me crazy. I can't let a girl control my thoughts and feelings like this. But I swear I honestly thought this could go somewhere. She initiated everything. Then left. How the hell can she get my hopes up like that and just bail. Its not fair. Guess what? The flaking is part of who she is. You can't just ignore that. That's part of the package. So no, she's not "perfect". And I discovered this site in an aftermath of a short relationship, so I sympathize with you. But this girl is stringing you along. And everything that she told you becomes null and void once there's a break. It doesn't matter. My ex told me all sort of things before we broke. But once we broke, those things became irrelevant. I'm sorry man, this is a losing hand. If you keep playing your cards with this girl, she's going to keep stomping on your heart.
SendHope Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 I agree with you except for one thing: Have you ever felt that you met someone who you thought was the perfect fit for you? I honestly felt/feel this way about this girl. I mean everything I'm looking for (except the flaking) well she checks off every single box. And I can't get over everything she told me and what we did. You don't introduce me to your friends, to your family, talk about long term, talk about how we will handle seeing each other in a few years once we graduate, talk about how she met the perfect guy in me, etc. How could she say all those things and be confused. I'm trying to wrap my mind around it and its pissing me off. And its driving me crazy. I can't let a girl control my thoughts and feelings like this. But I swear I honestly thought this could go somewhere. She initiated everything. Then left. How the hell can she get my hopes up like that and just bail. Its not fair. You are not the first one to feel this way. I thought (some times I still do) that my ex was everything I could want in a girl. I've met her family, talked to her dad who was in a different state, met with her friends. She said she would do everything for me and she could never imagine herself with another guy. We talked about the future (kids, places to live, etc.). But 9 months later, she breaks it off for me. She even says she's still in-love with me but she just want to be on her own. Thankfully there is no other guy(at least I hope so. I wasn't keeping tabs on her). Here I am, heart broken at all. We haven't spoken to each other in half a month except for a moment of weakness on my part and I texted her. It was ignored and it looks like she has a new phone number. I keep trying to not take it the wrong way for she could have just blocked my number. Her phone is always crappy and she prolly forgot to refill her no-contract phone. I am desperately trying to get over but I'm still hung up on her. I know in my heart that if she truly did love me we would still be together. Actions are what counts and not just words.
Author confused836 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 You're right actions do speak louder than words. Although she initiated almost everything she was the one to leave. I don't know what she's expecting or if she's being unrealistic. I know I'm not a male model or anything but I have never had a girl break up with me because she isn't physically attracted to me as she claims. It just sucks that with the biggest test of med school coming up (essentially determines what kind of doctor you can be) in a few months, all I can do is think about this girl instead of focusing on school. Its funny how the shortest relationship I've been in seems like the hardest to get over. I really just need to study but I can't bring myself to sit down and open a book.
Author confused836 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Posted February 11, 2013 I'm sorry for being so whiny especially over something so short but I was out of town this past week and coming back and literally being 2 minutes away from her is setting me back. Do I avoid the places she goes to? There's a Starbucks that both of us study at. Does this mean I should stop going there? I don't want her to think I am stalking her. I also wish I could get my money back. She apparently knew how she felt but still initiated dates. I don't know why I even paid for her given her feelings.
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