TaraMaiden Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 I'm sorry, but I'm going to throw a punch here, but were you like this in your marriage, because you know, you're being very irritating. You can't see it from her PoV, so you think she's automatically flawed in her thinking. Just because you don't get it' doesn't mean you have a valid point.
TheGuard13 Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 (edited) I'm sorry, but I'm going to throw a punch here, but were you like this in your marriage, because you know, you're being very irritating. You can't see it from her PoV, so you think she's automatically flawed in her thinking. I don't really see what my marriage has to do with this, but... I expected my wife to act like an adult, and not to bait me, fish for compliments, and not to expect me to be honest with her, and then to get offended or hurt if I was. I've always been an honest person who speaks my mind, which is half the reason she liked me to begin with. I didn't change that with her, not about to change now. I can absolutely see it from her point of view. And I didn't say a word about her being flawed in her thinking. Her relationship may well have real problems, and he may well be a jerk, I just didn't feel there was enough information available to make that call (two sides to every story and all that), so I asked for some additional info. I also asked, of those of you who are instantly calling him a jerk, "What should he do in this situation, lie?" You told me that men and women feel things and communicate things differently, and implied that female insecurity is based on the media's portrayal of beauty, which is a generality, and does not apply to all of a gender or sex at once, AND didn't really answer my question. So I asked you to elaborate and explain further, because it seems like you're basically dancing around the question and throwing generalities at me as if that's supposed to explain how she feels, why, and how the man should be communicating with her. And apparently getting irritated for some reason. Just because you don't get it' doesn't mean you have a valid point. No, I "get it". Trust me. Was in a relationship with an overweight women for 10 years, was both attracted and not attracted to her at times. I understand both sides of this. The OP wants to feel beautiful, special, cared about, etc, and she's not happy with his response to her question and his reaction. It's not rocket science. Edited February 7, 2013 by TheGuard13
snowflakes88 Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 Everything doesn't need to be said. I've dated guys who were not my physical ideal, though I was still very physically attracted to them. However, I'd never SAY that aloud. Why would you? Now if you asked him (it's not clear to me from the OP whether you did or not), that's a bit of a different story. I'm not a proponent of asking questions you don't really want the answers to.
TheGuard13 Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 Agreed, hence me talking about needing more info.
FitChick Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 Women will lie to other women about their weight as well. A female coworker came back from a doctor visit saying her doctor told her she was obese and had referred her to a registered dietician. Another female coworker said "He's crazy! You're not fat!" Huh? I never solicit opinions from other women because I know they will lie.
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