NiceGuyDTW Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Ok...so I've been dating a woman since beginning of the year. We have gone out about 4 times, we are always texting each other. We had sex last weekend, and I think we are at a stage where we are probably going to go exclusive. As a background, she's 36 (3 kids) divorced. I'm 40, (2kids) divorced. We have known each other for about 2 yrs through kids' school events and activities. We have come close because our exes are identical (i.e. nutjobs). Beyond that we have a lot of things in common, and we get along very well. My point is that it seems as though all the planets seems to be aligning, and I'm beginning to feel like this will turn into something serious. I would like to get her something special for Valentines Day. With 3 kids it is very hard for her to pamper herself, and she has very little time for herself. She's mentioned to me how she really cant afford to buy new clothes or go have her nails, etc. done as she used to. So I thought I would get her a gift certificate for a spa, since I know better to get clothes for a woman. But anything decent is at least $100. Now it's no problem for me to spend that money, but I was thinking if I do get her that I might come off as being too "nice"...perhaps too eager to please. What do you all think? I prefer responses from the ladies.
Els Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 $100 is a bit excessive if you're just starting off. How are there no cheaper gift cards? Most stores where I live have them down to $10.
Els Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Well, don't do a spa. She mentioned nails or clothes. Plenty of nail boutiques or clothes stores that have cheaper options.
Author NiceGuyDTW Posted February 6, 2013 Author Posted February 6, 2013 $100 is a bit excessive if you're just starting off. How are there no cheaper gift cards? Most stores where I live have them down to $10. Well I've also taken her out to dinner and spent over $100 on the meal & drinks. Yes, I did think about getting a gift card of lesser value to a clothing store...but I really don't know where she shops and it seemed a bit impersonal to me??
Els Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Well I've also taken her out to dinner and spent over $100 on the meal & drinks. Yes, I did think about getting a gift card of lesser value to a clothing store...but I really don't know where she shops and it seemed a bit impersonal to me?? Ah, fair point. I suppose if you're okay with it and you've already gone past the $100 mark in your first 4 dates, it shouldn't be a problem.
intknight Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I think you can think via another angle i.e. pleased her kids is better than pleased herself. You can buy some toys or whatever you think her 3 kids will love to have. Another gift is a flower because it's Valentine's day. But if her kids love your gifts,it's the best gift for their mom either.
candie13 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Really good idea and very thoughtful - the spa, I mean... but NO, it is definitely too much, keep that for later . Why don't you get her something that she wished she'd get herself and still spoil her? I mean a nice silk scarf or even a perfume? Make sure you leave the gift exchange card, as these gifts can be very personal, and it's the thought that counts... I think a nice scarf and a box of chocolate / or flowers - would be fantastic! She can wear the scarf again, accessorize it differently, etc. And the perfume - every time she wears it, she'll think of you . you're a nice person, I hope your relationship works. Cheers 1
Author NiceGuyDTW Posted February 6, 2013 Author Posted February 6, 2013 Really good idea and very thoughtful - the spa, I mean... but NO, it is definitely too much, keep that for later . Why don't you get her something that she wished she'd get herself and still spoil her? I mean a nice silk scarf or even a perfume? Make sure you leave the gift exchange card, as these gifts can be very personal, and it's the thought that counts... I think a nice scarf and a box of chocolate / or flowers - would be fantastic! She can wear the scarf again, accessorize it differently, etc. And the perfume - every time she wears it, she'll think of you . you're a nice person, I hope your relationship works. Cheers The perfume is not a bad idea. It's just that the only thing she really mentioned was getting a mani/pedi...and so I thought if I get her that it would surprise her that I remembered since she only mentioned it once. I guess this is a good problem to have.
candie13 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 mani / pedi is something that's great, too, especially if you hadn't had it in a while... but it is not tangible, it doesn't stay with her. You want to make a long lasting impression, right ? perfume is sexy, it's about the scent, about the brand, about the bottle, about how the scent will adapt and change on her skin... of course, if you find this knock out spa and decide to offer the mani / pedi, that can be really cool too, I love the experience of a nice beauty institute... maybe they can offer even a small foot massage ?
Author NiceGuyDTW Posted February 6, 2013 Author Posted February 6, 2013 mani / pedi is something that's great, too, especially if you hadn't had it in a while... but it is not tangible, it doesn't stay with her. You want to make a long lasting impression, right ? perfume is sexy, it's about the scent, about the brand, about the bottle, about how the scent will adapt and change on her skin... of course, if you find this knock out spa and decide to offer the mani / pedi, that can be really cool too, I love the experience of a nice beauty institute... maybe they can offer even a small foot massage ? Exactly!...she hasn't had one in "years". There is a really nice place nearby that's rated very highly...my ex used to go there . They have a deal for $110...manicure spa, pedicure spa, & massage. BUT, I really liked your idea of perfume, and her thinking about me when she uses it. I just don't really know what she wants, and when I go to the dept store it's tough to pick out a scent since the air is filled with other scents. Her b-day is in May...so I might save the spa idea for then?
mitchell Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Don't do the perfume. Too much personal preference. I would vote for the mani/pedi. She will feel pampered and sexy. Plus with her busy lifestyle she would be able to find the time (as opposed to a full day at a spa). Or, since you just had sex, perhaps a new car!
candie13 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 more than appropriate, in my opinion ! gosh, you like her, if you're thinking birthday gift for May ! oh, looooove, ain't it great !!!! def talk to the sales girls at the department store, to explain her personality type, they will match that with different sort of perfumes - if she's more easy going, maybe something more fresh, if she's more sensual, maybe something a bit more exotic/oriental, if she's a sensitive type, something powdery... you should enjoy the process of picking it up, as well !
candie13 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Don't do the perfume. Too much personal preference. I would vote for the mani/pedi. She will feel pampered and sexy. Plus with her busy lifestyle she would be able to find the time (as opposed to a full day at a spa). exchange gift card ! oh, and the car would be for me, thank you very much - I'll PM the address !
Author NiceGuyDTW Posted February 6, 2013 Author Posted February 6, 2013 exchange gift card ! oh, and the car would be for me, thank you very much - I'll PM the address ! Funny thing is I work for a major automotive OEM. So getting a car isn't out of the realm of possibilities. I'm going to go for the perfume. I think they have boxed sets for Valentine's. 1
AMusing Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Might be too late, but I'd vote for a gift card to get a mani/pedi. The whole spa experience is a bit much, but a pedicure wouldn't be. The mani/pedi is really sweet, especially if, when she opens it, you mention remembering her saying she missed getting them. Knowing you listen to her will make the gift so special. And, the nails would be a visual reminder of you. Sure, the polish won't last months, but that's one of the nice things about it: it's a temporary decadence she wouldn't give herself. To me perfume is a pretty generic "I don't know what to get you" gift. Unless you know what kinds she likes, there's a good chance whatever you get her will be stashed in a drawer and not used. So much for a reminder of you....
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 The perfume is not a bad idea. It's just that the only thing she really mentioned was getting a mani/pedi...and so I thought if I get her that it would surprise her that I remembered since she only mentioned it once. I guess this is a good problem to have. Another vote for the mani/pedi idea or gift card for a mani/pedi! Get her what she mentioned. It shows that you listen, are thoughtful, and care about getting her what she likes. She's expressed what she likes. Don't ignore it. Most women love a little pampering. I suspect she'll love it! Something in the price range of your dates is perfectly reasonable, especially since you're sleeping with her and, although dating for a month or so, have known her for two years. Generic gift cards unfortunately can convey, "I'm too lazy to bother thinking about this, but I feel obligated. Go get yourself something." Perfume is incredibly personal. Most women have fairly strong preferences. Unless she wears perfume on a regular basis and you know her favorite scent, there's a good chance she'll never use it, after using it around you a couple of times.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I think a spa gift card is way better than perfume. What if she doesn't like the perfume you pick or it doesn't agree with her body chemistry? I don't think $100 is excessive, either. My last boyfriend spent twice that on a birthday present for me when we'd only been dating for 3 weeks. I thought it was very sweet and pampering, but not over the top.
strawberryshortstack Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 Ok...so I've been dating a woman since beginning of the year. We have gone out about 4 times, we are always texting each other. We had sex last weekend, and I think we are at a stage where we are probably going to go exclusive. As a background, she's 36 (3 kids) divorced. I'm 40, (2kids) divorced. We have known each other for about 2 yrs through kids' school events and activities. We have come close because our exes are identical (i.e. nutjobs). Beyond that we have a lot of things in common, and we get along very well. My point is that it seems as though all the planets seems to be aligning, and I'm beginning to feel like this will turn into something serious. I would like to get her something special for Valentines Day. With 3 kids it is very hard for her to pamper herself, and she has very little time for herself. She's mentioned to me how she really cant afford to buy new clothes or go have her nails, etc. done as she used to. So I thought I would get her a gift certificate for a spa, since I know better to get clothes for a woman. But anything decent is at least $100. Now it's no problem for me to spend that money, but I was thinking if I do get her that I might come off as being too "nice"...perhaps too eager to please. What do you all think? I prefer responses from the ladies. A gift certificate for a deluxe manicure/pedicure would be along the same lines, but a more appropriate price range.
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