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I don't know if I should take her back after all the pain she caused me.


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Posted

I have decided to leave my girlfriend of four years. I have realy strong suspicion that she is cheating.Her cellphone for the past few months is off and her whereabouts unknown to me for entire nights at a time at irregular intervals, specialy over weekends.

 

First I gave her the benefit of the doubt as it could happen to anyone, but this behavior just persisted. I spoke to her about it several times , and her excuses are just silly,unbelievable and unrealistic. I told her that it causes me restlesness, frustration and its hurtfull. I also told her my suspicion. She denies everything saying that she loves me and that I shouldn't leave her, she then promices that it wont hapen again.

 

It however does happen again and we argue. I have given her so many last chances I do not know what more. I am sure that I'm not paranoid because this behavior is abnormal though I haven't cought her in the act. It is however not possible that she doesnt cheat after all this unusual behavior and for her to be oblivious whiles it causes their loved one great stress. I have also seen peculiar text messages from other men on her cell, which she just downplayed.

 

After the last incident,I told her its over because when I went to see her at her cousins place where she was to sleep over, we spoke before that and I told her that I am on my way to see her there. I got there within eight minutes from our last communication and called her, but it went unaswered and so also 30 calls and 10 odd text messages. She only reverted to me the next day in the afternoon saying she was sleeping and that I shouldnt leave her for that.

 

I was so dumbfounded, how could she be so fast asleep not to hear all those alls and texts as she claims her cell was not on silent mode.I concluded that she was not where she said she was, she was with someone somewhere else.

 

I have trouble to cut contact with her as I am so angry and hurt, it literally pains when I think of it, and to make it worst she texts me everyday claiming that she has never been with anyone else since we met. She says she wants me back and that I should forgive her and that she loves me dearly, I told her to tell me the truth about everything for me to condider taking her back but she insist she has never slept with anyone but me. The funny thing however is that she has now adjusted the story she told me about what happened the last incident, she now says she was too drunk and was ashamed for me to see her that way.

 

I am confused and hurt, I don't trust her.What can I do?

Posted (edited)

Ive been thru a situation like this and they hurt like hell. She is cheating on you 100 percent. Cut her out of your life like a cancer. Time to man up. HARDCORE NC. Wish I has done that earlier in that situation.

 

Believe me not knowing anything is better than the doubt and pain that is being inflicted while your still grabbing onto hope and half believing her lies. All while you know deep down she is off banging some other guy.

Edited by cavalier99
  • Like 1
Posted

People only change if they want to.

You asking them to change, does not make them want to change, it just makes them want to appease you, but it leads to no long-term improvement.

 

It does not really matter if she is cheating or not, she is not respecting your feelings.

 

You are not being fair to yourself. You are letting this girl turn you into an unstable person "30 calls and 10 texts".

 

Make it clear to her that it is over.

Delete her number from your phone and stop responding to her calls and texts.

Find a nice girl that will care about how you feel.

  • Like 3
Posted

I am confused and hurt, I don't trust her.What can I do?

 

Not date a tramp next time? Taking more care when picking a relationship partner is very important. If you have trouble with this and you keep dating troubled, unreliable and untrustworthy women, you need to find out what it is in you that makes your people picker to be so far off.

Posted
People only change if they want to.

You asking them to change, does not make them want to change, it just makes them want to appease you, but it leads to no long-term improvement.

 

It does not really matter if she is cheating or not, she is not respecting your feelings.

 

You are not being fair to yourself. You are letting this girl turn you into an unstable person "30 calls and 10 texts".

 

Make it clear to her that it is over.

Delete her number from your phone and stop responding to her calls and texts.

Find a nice girl that will care about how you feel.

I need this advice right now! thanks

Posted

honestly this is exactly what was going on with me in an 18month relationship :(

 

we'd go on nights out and she'd disappear for an hour, not answering her phone and her friends were right next to me. calling her too.

 

she'd hold hands with guys in front of me.. it hurt i'd say something and ask her to stop because it was upsetting me..

 

In the end I may have looked insecure and jealous in her eyes... but I guess she looked like a sl#T in my eyes at the time.

 

I don't believe she cheated on me... but 5 days after we broke up she planned on hooking up with somebody else who didn't show up.

 

I think she's seeing him now. I don't want to know. I don't think you're in the wrong. she shouldn't make you worry! she needs to earn your trust! I need to listen to my mind over my heart because I still love and adore a girl who didn't care about my feelings.

 

Now i'm offered the friend zone and she doesn't want to lead me on but she wants to tell me all her emotional problems and go for dinner and cry on me but I said no. Walk away and hope some day she realizes you were a good person.. and I hope you find it in yourself to remember every day how much upset she caused you and why you ended it.. not the good times because they stopped existing.

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