Jim24 Posted August 27, 2004 Posted August 27, 2004 I am literally crying (i know guys arent supposed to cry but Im so upset and unsure of what to do so I dont care) as I write this. I have had a girlfriend for about a month now. It is a long distance relationship, as she goes to a boarding school. It went really well even after she has been at school for almost 2 weeks. However, out of no where, I got a call from her saying that she wanted to take a break for awhile and just be friends. I have no idea what a break means to her, but she said that it wasnt the end of us in the future and stuff and it got to the point where we were both crying and eventually hung up. I dunno what happened, she said it wasnt because she was involved w/another guy but because she just had so much going on already and she wanted to prevent me from feeling worse later on, though i am willing to wait out the time she is at school until she can come visit and cant imagine how i would wind up feeling worse. IS THIS THE END? I love her and she was the first yes answer ive ever got in asking a girl out but im beginning to think its too good to be true. Is it all over or can this somehow be saved? Please help....
kellydontwanttasleep Posted August 27, 2004 Posted August 27, 2004 it's all over she's on some guys C right now
Trager Posted August 28, 2004 Posted August 28, 2004 sounds like she found someone elce but still wants u, hey it happens.
Starnette83 Posted August 28, 2004 Posted August 28, 2004 NO maybe she just needs time, dont worry...ugh love sux but theres gotta be a way!! im sorry man i really am, i know how bad it hurts!!! just hang in there....maybe she will change her mind:(
Jim24 Posted August 28, 2004 Posted August 28, 2004 I dunno, it turns out that she met one other person at her school she wanted to hang out with and she told me that she was still young and all this crap about how she wants to experiment for awhile (I didnt tell her that i thought it was crap but i do think that it is). Its true that shes 16 and im 18, but the breakup was so random and unexpected: i didnt get a single signal. I dunno whether she wants to date around to see if im really the best one out there for here or whether our relationship was an ephemeral thing. Please tell me what you think I should do, though I think at this stage i might as well try to get over it and see what else is out there. Do you think she may eventually come back if she decides she likes me more than other guys or should i just completely forget about it. Is there any chance of getting back together later u think?
Doug (England) Posted August 28, 2004 Posted August 28, 2004 Hi Jim, It's always rough to feel rejected and the first one is the worst. You've not necessarily lost her but if you are to stand a chance of this girl sticking with you, you may have ot do the total OPPOSITE of what you feel inclined to do. Do NOT contact her - for at least a week. She needs space. NEEDS it - you've probably been too intense for her but even if not, she needs a chance to miss you. Do NOT contact her any more than once a week. If she contacts you two days in a row, make an excuse and end the conversation quickly. Don't plead with her and don't press her any more for "why". She almost certainly doesn't know. Make sure you get out and do something that is of interest - even if you don't feel like going out. When you do talk with her, talk about what you've been doing; don't mention that she wasn't with you - if she doesn't feel she's lost out, nothing you say will change that. Show some interest in what she's been doing but don't overdo it. If she asks if you are seeing any other girl (and if you do as I say she's likely to before the end of the third conversation) do NOT discuss this with her. Calm down on the "I love you." If she asks, if you love her, tease her about it ("You'd like me to love you?") Basically, calm down, let HER start missing you, start chasing you, start being a little insecure about you. At the same time, show her your interest by being willing to discuss all the fun things you're doing (letting her wish she was with you). Best wishes!
Jim24 Posted August 28, 2004 Posted August 28, 2004 I was dumb enough to plead awhile at first, but it was cool and she decided wed still be friends...shes still comming to homecomming w/me at least.
cassrat Posted August 29, 2004 Posted August 29, 2004 Hey that sucks, but i think that the only way that you will eventually get her back is to try and move on. Go on with your life, see what else is out there, and have fun while your doing it. If she calls you act like you are the happiest person in the world. Even if you were crying all day. Suck it up at least while your on the phone with her. Always act like your busy even if your not and you have to make up something that your doing. If she asks if your seeing someone else say that your kinda talking to someone or a few people. Always be the first person that gets off the phone. Don't call her!!!!!!! Start hanging out with friends and doing whatever you used to do before you guys got together. When she realizes that you are moving on and not wasting your time thinking about her, she will either want you back and the ball will be back in your court or she wont. If she doens't then she can go do whatever the hell she wants to do, but at least she will think that she didn't hurt you that bad. You don't need her anyway!
Jim24 Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 Im worried tho, because at first i was really hurt and I (though in retrospect i think i was stupid to do so) pleaded a little and tried to find out why. Do you think this made the situation irreparable or since i stopped doing it am i just fine?
cassrat Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 You will be fine. I did the same thing I called cring and all that good stuff, but then I decided to take back my pride. When I talked to him I acted like i am so happy. Which I am now. Thats when he said that he misses my family and our dog and wanted to come and see them and all this ****. Let her now that you will be a ok with out her. That you dont need all this drama. You will feel better
Jim24 Posted August 30, 2004 Posted August 30, 2004 Do you think theres still a chance we may get back together or should i just forget about it?
backspn Posted September 4, 2004 Posted September 4, 2004 Cheer up Jim. Everything will be ok. She is young and she will always remember you, always. Is there a chance for you two later on? Of course....now? Probably not. Keep communication open and be friends and I believe things will work out for the best. But on the flip side, while she's at school you'll meet someone new and things will progress, trust me I've been there. It doesnt seem like it now but it will happen. Who knows....maybe in 4 or 5 years you guys will decide that its worth giving it another shot. High school sweethearts always seem to find a way. Good luck.
kellydontwanttasleep Posted September 4, 2004 Posted September 4, 2004 Jim24 move on and let it go there's a new one waiting down the corner for you
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