Necris Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 In my previous thread:http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/371839-approach-anxiety-approach-story-2.html#post4585761 I approached a woman that I met (approach details inside approach anxiety thread). Strangely though I can't stop thinking about her, even though she seems kind of weird (something about the way she walks and holds herself up just seems odd) and not really attractive (very skinny with an unattractive looking face) so in terms of physical appearance she's a little below average. But for some reason just from talking to her I can't stop thinking about her. Even as I write this I'm still thinking about her. It's weird, I'm normally not like this. Makes me feel sort of creepy, especially with the hard-on I had just talking to her. I wonder why I'm feeling this way? Also ever had similar experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Im attracted to you OP. xD...zing! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frogwife Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 OH my GOD, a boner for a below-average-looking woman??? I hope you pull through...! (or at least find a support group to help you during these difficult times...) (Whew, finally made it to post #100) Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Everyone is attractive to someone. There is no such thing as someone being completely unattractive. That's the thing about attraction you see, it's not all about looks and you never know where it's going to crop up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Necris Posted February 6, 2013 Author Share Posted February 6, 2013 OH my GOD, a boner for a below-average-looking woman??? I hope you pull through...! (or at least find a support group to help you during these difficult times...) (Whew, finally made it to post #100) Come now, also that's not the issue, I'm just wondering why I feel such strong desire for her, and why I can't stop thinking about her even though I only had a small couple of minutes conversation with her, that's a wee bit abnormal for me, with most girls my mind isn't going overboard like this. Perhaps its something my subconscious mind is picking up that I'm not yet consciously aware of that's making her seem so attractive, "pheromones/attractive aura?". I'm definitely going to try to get to know her better to see what's up. Though I was curious to see the personal experiences of others. Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Maybe she had her period? I hear we're more attractive then? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sanctionne Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Who say's that she's unattractive? you, society? In my own opinion I'd much rather be w/someone long term that I feel a connection with and someone I can talk to. Everyone's looks start to fade eventually. I dated a guy that I was not initially attracted to. But I loved being around him. We could sit and talk for hrs. I loved what we had. And the more I got to know him, the more I became attracted to him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sanctionne Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I think your problem and the problem w/most ppl, myself included is that you care too much about what other ppl think. If she makes you happy then I say go for it. Be happy. Not a lot of ppl can find that in a partner even if they are they are 'attractive' by societies standards. I can honestly say that the 1 person that I ever really loved and that make me truly was happy was someone I never thought could. And as I mentioned in my previous comment. The more I got to know him the more attracted I was to him. Same goes w/someone that is attractive. They may have a pretty face, great body, but if they have a ****ty attitude etc the less attractive they become Link to post Share on other sites
Author Necris Posted February 6, 2013 Author Share Posted February 6, 2013 I think your problem and the problem w/most ppl, myself included is that you care too much about what other ppl think. If she makes you happy then I say go for it. Be happy. Not a lot of ppl can find that in a partner even if they are they are 'attractive' by societies standards. I can honestly say that the 1 person that I ever really loved and that make me truly was happy was someone I never thought could. And as I mentioned in my previous comment. The more I got to know him the more attracted I was to him. Same goes w/someone that is attractive. They may have a pretty face, great body, but if they have a ****ty attitude etc the less attractive they become I'm definitely going to talk to her, something happened when I talked to her that I can't quite understand, somehow she went from not good-looking to unusually attractive:love:, not sure what happened though. Link to post Share on other sites
Frogwife Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 (edited) Every one of us here is attractive and not attractive to someone else. I found my husband totally handsome, but before he met me, he went on a date through a dating agency (it was a little more old-fashioned here in France during that time). They met in a city center, she took one look at him, said "you're not attractive enough for me" and turned around and walked away. He's had this happen a couple of times and it makes me sad to even tell that story. But did I ever think "oh my god, I'm attracted to a man who might be considered ugly by someone else? My god, what's wrong with me??" It's not often I find a question here so absurd that I have to pop in like this, and bless your heart for "expressing your feelings' but this thread is just pure absurdity! How do people here function on a day-to-day basis?? Edited February 6, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 3 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I You find a woman attractive and the problem is...??? That she may not be considered attractive by someone else? I'm stumped, too! What's the problem??? It is normal to be attracted to some individuals who are not great beauties. I'm more shocked if this is the first time you've experienced unexpected attraction like this. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I wonder why I'm feeling this way? You could be sensing and responding involuntarily to her attraction to you. Happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 You're probably just flexible in what physical attributes you are able to find attractive, so other things about her are making you find her physical attributes to be attractive. It isn't uncommon. At least not for me. My physical type, if I had to name one, always just happened to be exactly what my current boyfriend looked like at the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Necris Posted February 6, 2013 Author Share Posted February 6, 2013 I'm stumped, too! What's the problem??? It is normal to be attracted to some individuals who are not great beauties. I'm more shocked if this is the first time you've experienced unexpected attraction like this. Everybody has it all wrong the attraction isn't the issue, its the "I can't stop thinking about her" attraction that's strange. In my day to day life I see many highly attractive girls and while momentarily I might think "wow, she's hot" or something I don't dwell on it. I've also talked to girls who seem friendly but I don't dwell on that either. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 Everybody has it all wrong the attraction isn't the issue, its the "I can't stop thinking about her" attraction that's strange. Sounds like a crush to me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheGuard13 Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 If you can't explain it, then its likely a crush or an infatuation. There's something new about her that you like, maybe something she is that you wish you could be yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 In my previous thread:http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/371839-approach-anxiety-approach-story-2.html#post4585761 I approached a woman that I met (approach details inside approach anxiety thread). Strangely though I can't stop thinking about her, even though she seems kind of weird (something about the way she walks and holds herself up just seems odd) and not really attractive (very skinny with an unattractive looking face) so in terms of physical appearance she's a little below average. But for some reason just from talking to her I can't stop thinking about her. Even as I write this I'm still thinking about her. It's weird, I'm normally not like this. Makes me feel sort of creepy, especially with the hard-on I had just talking to her. I wonder why I'm feeling this way? Also ever had similar experiences. I'm EXTREMELY attracted to average women all the time. Women that top men would could consider totally unattractive. They usually refer to these women as 'dumpy'. Don't think that means that those women have no options though. They usually have plenty and probably think of themselves as above you. And round and round the food chain we go. Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 I blame pheromones Some people have a perfect match for your pheromones... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Necris Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 I'm EXTREMELY attracted to average women all the time. Women that top men would could consider totally unattractive. They usually refer to these women as 'dumpy'. Don't think that means that those women have no options though. They usually have plenty and probably think of themselves as above you. And round and round the food chain we go. Average is attractive to me, below average though I don't know. As for options yeah women in general have more options then men, alot of guys just take whatever, women are expected to be alot more picky. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Maybe she had her period? I hear we're more attractive then? I heard its ovulation. Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 It is called chemistry. It is awesome. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 True story, my boyfriend is by no means a man that I would have normally seen myself with. But from the moment I met him there was SOMETHING. I couldn't explain it, I just was infatuated and intrigued by him. It was this chemistry that I couldn't shake that drew me to him. To this day he swears he felt the same exact way. It really is amazing. I don't think it happens often. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Everybody has it all wrong the attraction isn't the issue, its the "I can't stop thinking about her" attraction that's strange. In my day to day life I see many highly attractive girls and while momentarily I might think "wow, she's hot" or something I don't dwell on it. I've also talked to girls who seem friendly but I don't dwell on that either. She turns you on. It's really that simple. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 Well in my case there are two instances in which they can occur. One is very rare and a good one, the other is not so good. I've me a couple of women in my life where the attraction was so strong I could literally feel it. Mind you these were interactions with customers at work so I didn't know them, it was instant. From what I have read it's a pheromone attraction and nature is telling us we have a srong chance at producing healthy offspring!!! The other type is due to my "issues" and if you know my hist you know what it is... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Necris Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 It is called chemistry. It is awesome. so... this is the "chemistry" I've heard about, interesting. I feel foolish for not getting a number when I first met her, but I'll most likely see her again next Monday, now I just need to learn to "cool down" so to speak in the meantime, being this charged up for meeting someone isn't normal for me. Link to post Share on other sites
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