Guys would you be turned off if a woman revealed this fact about herself?

[PhillyDude]

That's pretty judgemental... FWB doesn't necessarily mean that.

 

Having said that, no, absolutely not. People have relationships of varying degrees throughout their life.

 

I mean, what if I dated a girl for a month, and we had sex a lot. Then one of us decided we didn't want to continue into a relationship before having "the talk".

What is that? Is that to be looked down on? Was it a FWB thing? Was it a relationship? What was it?

 

WHO CARES! If you feel that way about a girl, let her go, IMMEDIATELY! She deserved better than someone who'll look down on them for something that has NOTHING to do with you.

 

 

Should I tell her about my past fetish lifestyle?

[SmileFace]

She had a couple of FWB in the past????? I don't think I'm supposed to know that. It's hard for me to take someone seriously who admits to "f*cking a guy every time she was horny.

 

 

Anyone agree?

What was she suppose to **** when she was horny?

[SmileFace]

Because since I am a classy dude who takes sex very seriously I want to meet a woman who is the same.

Dafuq...don't you usually take part in fetishes with random women or are you usually lying?

[monicaelise]

OP are you familiar with the Urban Dictionary: madonna-whore complex ?

 

You've got some serious issues you need to deal with on a personal level before you start worrying about what women should/shouldn't be disclosing.

[ltjg45]

Should I tell her about my past fetish lifestyle?

 

If you are willing to scare her away, by all means go ahead.

 

From the looks of it, you would be doing her a HUGE favor.

 

Sounds like you don't have much of a backbone.

[ltjg45]

My point is I didn't think it would be wise to share that information with someone I;m trying to date.

 

And I'm sure that will make you look like a sissy to most women.

 

Of all the things you can take offense from, it has to be THAT one.

[Woggle]

There is nothing with having these standards as long as a man lives up to them himself. You can preach it as long you practice it.

[Woggle]

I think the issue is that the OP has in the past admitted to being a player yet he judges a woman who has had FWBs. There is nothing wrong with having standards and dealbreakers but don't be a hypocrite about it. If you want something be prepared to deliver it yourself.

[ChessPieceFace]

I think the issue is that the OP has in the past admitted to being a player yet he judges a woman who has had FWBs. There is nothing wrong with having standards and dealbreakers but don't be a hypocrite about it. If you want something be prepared to deliver it yourself.

 

If that is the issue, it's a valid point... however, I would say this. It's MORE in the male nature to separate sex from emotional bonding. I don't like it but that's part of the genome. Do I think it's ultimately any healthier for men to do this than women? No, not really. However, if a woman is separating sex from emotional bonding, it is more indicative that something has gone wrong in her sexual behavior and more indicative that she is going to be trouble. Like, I have really nothing positive to say about men who are players, nor would I ever advise any woman to be with them, BUT at least they have the excuse of following their basic drives. A woman's drive GENERALLY tends much more towards emotional connections and relationships, so GENERALLY it's a much worse sign if she is having cheap sex. I don't like that the biology leads to a double-standard of perceptions, but it simply does. Those are the facts of the gender differences in the biological drives. I don't see that as affecting my own personal standards since again, I am an atypical man who does NOT believe in cheap sex, and wouldn't recommend anyone be involved in it or date anyone who was involved in it, regardless of gender.

[Woggle]

Men who view sex in that way are just as likely to be crappy spouses as women who do. You can't create standards for other people you can't live up to yourself.

[Lani]

Sex means something to someone who means a lot to you.

Until that person comes along, what are you supposed to do? Abstain from something you enjoy? I don't think so.

I've had some FWB situations, and I've also had serious long term relationships.

Either way, I was only sleeping with one person at each time. I think you'll find this is the case with most FWB situations. We do it because there is nobody else there.

I would hope that someone wouldn't refuse a relationship with me because I've slept with guys I wasn't in a relationship with. At least it was someone I knew, and not just a series of one night stands.

It seems us women are supposed to not have sex unless we're in LTR's, which seem pretty difficult to find these days. Forgive us for having a sex drive that needs some satisfying.

[animalover]

Sex means something to someone who means a lot to you.

Until that person comes along, what are you supposed to do? Abstain from something you enjoy? I don't think so.

I've had some FWB situations, and I've also had serious long term relationships.

Either way, I was only sleeping with one person at each time. I think you'll find this is the case with most FWB situations. We do it because there is nobody else there.

I would hope that someone wouldn't refuse a relationship with me because I've slept with guys I wasn't in a relationship with. At least it was someone I knew, and not just a series of one night stands.

It seems us women are supposed to not have sex unless we're in LTR's, which seem pretty difficult to find these days. Forgive us for having a sex drive that needs some satisfying.

 

We all have a sex drive (some more high than others)... some of us just can control it and others just don't... I as a man, look someone who have some self control and can wait to enjoy sex with the person she loves... I respect you if you want to do it differently, I just wouldn't date someone who approach sex as a game!

[Emilia]

Anyone agree?

 

You seem to find major faults in every woman you meet. Maybe you should admit to yourself that you don't want a relationship and quit wasting other people's time.

[carhill]

'A couple of FWB' doesn't necessarily equal 'fµcking a guy every time she was horny'. In fact, that's highly unlikely for most healthy people. I'd be more interested in her relationship, marital and family history. Her past sexual escapades can remain stored in her deep ocean of secrets. Those 'couple of FWB' escapades, on their own, would be neither a turn-off nor turn-on for myself. Neutral.

[twosadthings]

it would bother me only if we were in a committed relationship and she expected to stay in contact with any of those men.

[Leigh 87]

Your saying that you do not think people who have sex outside of relationships are "classy"

 

Why the hell is someone not "classy" just because they do not want to wait until they find the right person to have sex with???!!!!!!!!!

 

JUST because someone chooses to have a fwb, it DOES NOT mean they just sleep around with any dude who wants them!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

You view is SO skewed.

 

 

 

 

I am a classy female - I dress classy, I have integrity and dignity in the things I do in life....

 

I had ONE fwd before my boyfriend...

 

....How is me having ONE fwd in 4 years, before meeting my b4 make me LESS classy?

[Leigh 87]

Because since I am a classy dude who takes sex very seriously I want to meet a woman who is the same.

 

 

NOT EVERYONE IS LIKE YOU!

 

Not everyone takes sex so seriously!! But it does but mean they sleep around either, geez!

 

...I take sex as seriously as you, when it is with the right person....

With the right person in a loving relationship, I feel THE SAME WAY about sex as you do.

 

The thing is, I think sex is healthy and natural and raises my mood and boosts my concentration when I have it regularly!

 

......... Now, it takes a while to find a guy I feel is worthy of a long term relationship, it could take a year or more to get into a relationship.

 

 

...I do not want to go a year (or longer!) without sex!

 

I enjoy taking sex seriously, but I can also appreciate the benifits of having meaningless sex, too. It is better with a loving partner, but having casual sex with a FWB is still more enjoyable than having NO sex, inbetween relatinships!

 

That does not mean I am going to jump into bed with just ANY guy either!

 

FWB is, in fact, a SAFE and respectful way to have sex, if it is with a friend who thinks highly of you and respects you!

[Killer Queen]

I'm a 22 year old woman and it would be a major deal breaker if I found out that a guy I was dating had done casual sex or FWB. I would never do (and have never done) casual sex or FWB. To me, this would just be a matter of moral incompatibility. No double standards here. Anyway that's just me and I understand I'm probably in the minority...

[Scarlett5]

She had a couple of FWB in the past????? I don't think I'm supposed to know that. It's hard for me to take someone seriously who admits to "f*cking a guy every time she was horny.

 

 

Anyone agree?

 

Ummm no, this is part of growing up and getting to know yourself.

 

People who haven't experienced this could be more likely to become restless as they get older, and develop a case of grass is greener syndrome, as they haven't experienced the freedom and feel like they're missing out. So take this as a positive, if anything.

[veggirl]

That's a really...uncouth thing to talk about with someone you are just getting to know. Why is it necessary to divulge that info a near stranger? I'd be majorly turned off if someone I was just starting to date was telling me about his past FWB exploits. It's just not something you need to talk about early on, imo.

[Drseussgrrl]

Why does this same damn debate crop up on LS every other week.

 

If you have such a problem with casual sex, find someone who feels the same and stop making others feel guilty just because you have hangups about it.

 

Jesus already!

[pbjbear]

She had a couple of FWB in the past????? I don't think I'm supposed to know that. It's hard for me to take someone seriously who admits to "f*cking a guy every time she was horny.

 

 

Anyone agree?

 

Double standards....its not a big deal if a guy does this but it is if a girl does it

 

Id be more worried she told you so quickly...I dont bring up my past FWB's with any of the guys I date...ever.

[pbjbear]

Most men don't care about men who have had fwb's since they aren't dating them and therefore there is no double standard. If you have an issue with women not holding men to the same standard as men hold women then take it up with women.

 

?? Us women are told its no big deal if a guy she is dating has had a past filled with ONS or FWB situations. Yet men make a big deal if a woman he is dating does have this past. I wasnt talking about men and men. ???

[ChessPieceFace]

I'm a 22 year old woman and it would be a major deal breaker if I found out that a guy I was dating had done casual sex or FWB. I would never do (and have never done) casual sex or FWB. To me, this would just be a matter of moral incompatibility. No double standards here. Anyway that's just me and I understand I'm probably in the minority...

 

You're in the minority on this forum. At least among the people yelling the loudest. Doesn't mean anything. Very few people I know IRL would do FWB. You're right for having reservations about it.

[pbjbear]

If women decided to turn away any man with a past like this, thered be very very few left to date. MOST men see sex as "just sex" and like casual sex and if they havent had alot of it its because they dont have the options. Have you not read the replies of men responding to this thread? Most men do casual sex nowadays...