For Those who disagree with the No Contact rule

[meeji]

You guys are amusing me! For a second there, I forgot that I was drowning in sorry. Maybe I should post more controversial topics more often

 

Flame on!

[Hopeful714]

this is different case because the cheater was trying to be manipulative.

 

Thanks for the explain... I thought I was being gaslighted by the article! lol

[lovnlost]

Ok i saw that part now.

 

However if someone dumps you and dumpee go NC the dumper shouldn't have dumped them in the 1st place if they wanted communication.

 

So it is the dumper that is playing games. The dumpee is just taking the dumper seriously and moving on.

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/372053-so-i-goofed

 

This is my post...I think what you said here may be exactly what is happening with me....She took me seriously and was very hurt. Now I am left going.....duh...I goofed. And not much I can do about it. I made a stance for what I believed in for the two of us, did 2 remarkable things to show I cared and how, and now....here I sit. Wondering......

[Sugarkane]

This woman is the biggest QUACK ever! Out if curiosity I emailed this woman about the breakup that sent me here. And she refused to help me! WTF? I said please prove me wrong, if you're such an" expert". Why wouldn't she? Isn't she a so called expert?! This is just a money making thing for this woman. Please run away!

[TaraMaiden]

As someone currently on the receiving end of a forced NC, I agree it's incredibly childish. Adults don't ignore each other, they deal with issues and reconcile or they move on.

 

So, you dumped your ex....?

[Sugarkane]

For all those people against NC, contact has NEVER worked for me. Not once! So how is that? I think you need to reread The NC guide. All I got in The past was lies and verbal abuse. So much for contact! What are you supposed to do, get the dumper to get legal action? Lots of people have gotten legal action, just for contacting, let alone stalking. Begging and pleading just leads to being laughed at and called desperate by the dumper. Why should we get called that?

[Sugarkane]

I also completely disagree mainly because I wouldn't never met my current boyfriend, who isn't a jerk like my ex and far smarter. Why hang onto someone who doesn't want you?

[mutant]

This is by far the most ridiculous article on NC I've ever read. Jesus Christ! What was the author smoking? So if the dumpee goes NC the dumper should text him/her that he wont tolerate such behavior (NC) and that he/she is moving on? WTF?! Also we dumpees are responsible for our Exes moving on because it's us that went NC on them.WOW!

[dumPI]

Isnt the article is about a dumper regretting breaking up and wanting to establish contact while the dumpee is doing NC?

 

Well, we've read here a some dumpees here getting emails and text from dumpers and not knowing if/when/what to answer.

 

The thing is if the dumper comes too strong: "I want you back" after a long while it doesn't sound true. If the dumper comes too weak and the dumpee is not healed every communication is seen as breadcrumbs and hurting the dumpee to the point that many prefer not to answer.

 

When someone breaks a relationship, trust and communication, the most important things break too. It's not the dumpee's mission to regain those too. Even more if the dumpee has already moved on.

 

By the way I hate how easy it is for women to call everything "abuse". Breaking up with someone (just to find better) isn't abuse then?

[Amelie1980]

She has some interesting theories but she is the only one I've seen who has them.

 

You can only attract someone back who wants to come back...staying in contact won't make them want you back. they didn't want you when they had you full time.

[Njeanne]

I just read that article and one part stood out. 0.o

 

"A person using NC to break you is not because she loves you, but to feel the need to break you to be in control"

 

0.o Uh, ok? I am sorry, but I use NC (like many) for myself to heal and get over the pain the dumper caused me. I don't want to break him to be in control, I rather want him to come back out of his own free will.

 

Yes, he might miss me, there is nothing wrong with that at all. We all got someone we miss everyday.

 

I didn't even bother reading rest, I don't care. I want to heal, I do it for me whatever coinciquences it does for the dumper I don't know nor should I.

[TaraMaiden]

Do you all think I should send the Author the PROPER guide....?

 

[cavalier99]

Do you all think I should send the Author the PROPER guide....?

 

 

Id pay good money to see a pay for view matchup...like a fight night! Slug it out Taramaiden! She doesn't have a chance. I'm putting hard cash on you! Odds any one? Who's the bookie. Fitz?

[TaraMaiden]

(I've left a comment.... )

[Amelie1980]

This author is far more rational

 

10 Core Breakup Boundaries That Every Person Should Live By | Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue

[TaraMaiden]

They're much better!

 

How are they working for you, Amelie dearest?

[Amelie1980]

They're much better!

 

How are they working for you, Amelie dearest?

 

Well I hadn't read them before the break up so I didn't know. I took the bu badly and did all the stuff you're not meant to do. crying, etc

 

 

I know for next time. I'm now up to my eyes in sh it with a bullying boss...having full on panic attacks at work. so I'm not doing too good.....

[Sugarkane]

Anyone against NC maybe you should read Fredricks thread where his ex got a restraining order against him. But you'll probably just ignore me anyway.