BehindBlueEyes Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Something has been worked out in the case of my meeting that girl. I went to the old store tonight and talked to her Co-worker and conversation ended up to the point that her Co-worker admitted she will miss the girl a lot too. She was about in tears when we were talking and that in turn almost put me in tears:( I then said tah hell with it and asked her to sign the card I bought and told her I will run down to the new store, give the girl a card and a movie pass(no painting supplies or anything) tell her we all miss her and we all are excited for her....A quick hug and it's done. I can now see that many are holding back their emotions over this, it is not easy to lose such a nice girl and her happy, giddy personality and it will never be the same without her there. I could see it in her Co-workers eyes tonight....She'll be missed by a lot of people. So when it comes down to it I am taking a card to that girl on behalf of her ex co-worker and myself. We both are going to miss this girl badly. It sucks.
whichwayisup Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Just a thought. You obviously don't have feelings for her co worker, yet you can easily go talk to her, not 'think' of her in the way you do with the one you like. If you want friendship, a pal to just Be a pal nothing more, co worker could be a good start and give you confidence that you CAN be just friends with a woman and not have feelings happen.
Author BehindBlueEyes Posted February 6, 2013 Author Posted February 6, 2013 Just a thought. You obviously don't have feelings for her co worker, yet you can easily go talk to her, not 'think' of her in the way you do with the one you like. If you want friendship, a pal to just Be a pal nothing more, co worker could be a good start and give you confidence that you CAN be just friends with a woman and not have feelings happen. Thanks, WWIU. It happened. I just got back from seeing her and it turned out way better than I had ever expected in my wildest dreams. I was actually calm walking in there with my going away present in tow, and there she was. I didn't have any intimate feelings I didn't cry or any of that BS, just said hey and handed her the gift thing and told her not to open it till I left(I hid a rubber snake in it) I totally calmed down and conversation went pretty easy. We talked about her having some nerve problems due to her pregnancy and she is in pain from it. Also something about how birthing made her hips shift or something:confused: Then we talked about her leaving, the new job, and yes I went ahead and told her I will really miss her badly. I couldn't help it and said it with a slight stutter. Well she quickly told me that we can keep in touch, she gave me her number and asked what I am doing this weekend. She needs to get people to help them move their stuff and do some chores ect ect before they move. She was going to ask me this regardless if I showed up or not apparently. She's so cute.... She asked me if I can come and help:) On further discussion she said anytime she is in town(her parents still live here) for visits, she would try and get ahold of me and her Best friends from the old store, to go do something together. She told me she didn't plan on ditching all her friends here in NY. Also.... Me, her, her husband, and her Ex-co worker(who happens to be a friend of mine too) are going bowling this Saturday night:) right now I feel just overwhelmed with relief...... I made an actual good friend today that I will never lose and I am happy with that. Thanks, everyone who helped me in all these years and in this particular thread. I thank LS for being the best website on the planet and you have a supporting member for life. Thanks for putting up with me. I love all of you right now. :love: 2
Author BehindBlueEyes Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 The thing that sucks about words on a screen and combined with my history, no one believes the last post.... I get it, but still.....kinda sucks. And for all the skeptics, no I am not feeling closer to getting into her panties even though she gave me her cell number, invited me to go bowling and help her move stuff for the move. I in fact feel great relief and lost all intimate fantasy feelings and now regard her as a great friend and one I'll help and stay in touch with for a long time.
Author BehindBlueEyes Posted February 8, 2013 Author Posted February 8, 2013 Also not phishing for attention, likes or stupid affirmation either....have I left anything out? This was all real, LS helped and the outcome is great. I couldn't be happier with how it turned out. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 8, 2013 Posted February 8, 2013 Heh, glad to hear it went well. I think having more social interaction with people in "real life" will do you good 1
Author BehindBlueEyes Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 I called it off. My last day seeing her was last Wednesday. Perhaps if they were a bit older I'd do it, but she's 20, fiancé is 22, co-worker is 24. I'm 38. I started feeling weird about it and awkward. I'd be the old man and all that so screw it. I'm satisfied with the results and over the crush, threw her phone number away, already forgot what it was. It was actually a turn off for me for her to give me her number... Just recently she knew what my last name is and we were just customer/employee friends of sorts. and I'm 38 even though she doesn't believe me. I'd be pissed off if my fiancé gave some old dude from her work, her number and invite him to go bowling. Nah....it was turn off to get her number....seemed cool at the time, but after thinking about it....nah. It's over I'm over it and time to move on.
Author BehindBlueEyes Posted February 9, 2013 Author Posted February 9, 2013 (edited) I have to confess and barf at my own thread..... Excuse me.......:sick: Edited February 9, 2013 by BehindBlueEyes
melodymatters Posted February 9, 2013 Posted February 9, 2013 What the.... ???? It was a group get together. It was a nice thing on many levels: helping move, bowling. You were happy. Everyone here thinks you need to expand your social circle, etc What kind of crazy self sabotage is this ?!? And, ahem Eric: My husband is in his twenties and so is one of my best friends, so I guess I'm a freak because I enjoy spending time with nice people without worrying about the numbers on their birth certificates ?!?...And this was only BOWLING for chrissakes !
Author BehindBlueEyes Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Well....I have to be totally honest about this, Mel....Yes I was happy, still am, but the thoughts of trying to be one of the "youngyins" acting like them, having people think I am their chaperone ect ect....really bothered me. If they were at least 30 then I most likely would of done it. I'm happy I am in the girls "circle" but I practically chewed my way into it and I felt by going out with them like that I was pushing things. I'm just grateful she thinks of me enough to do all this fo rme....I'm ok now an dit did boost my confidence....my confidence to go out and find a GF.friends that are more around my age. With that girl and her friends I am the older guy by far and have no doubt I'd hear some old man cracks and jokes, meant as jokes, but I am not keen on that. I either want to be one of them or not. I got this far and proved myself, but....I'm letting this slide for the above reasons. Sorry if it offends your situation, but I can't lie about it. I'm just not comfortable about it and no, you're not a freak.
melodymatters Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Ok, that's cool. And I KNOW I'm not a freak: I'm just friggen adorable and a bit immature:p ! Well, it sound like at least you are being level headed about it, and I'm glad if this truly gave you the confidence to go out and meet someone you feel is more appropriate. I was just glad to see you thinking sensibly, being social and making friends. If 50 yr olds ask you to go bowling are you going to say no because then you'll hear a lot of " young kid" crap, lol ?!? Hope not. Life is TOO SHORT. I still think you should have gone, but I respect that we all have to follow our gut, but I really and truly DO hope you use this as a first step to getting out there and mingling and making real life friends with people of all ages, races, and genders, just like......a real life LS !
Author BehindBlueEyes Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Another reason is that I feel in her "circle" sort of VIP to her if you will, but it's probably not the case. I'd spend some time with her before she leaves, yes, but I'd become closer(as friends) and feel I can email her and call her even when she moves 13 states away. She may respond to my emails and calls, yes, but she may not and I'd just fade away from her mind once she is in her new life down there and no emails calls would be responded to after some time. In other words.... I feel I'll invest to much in my emotions to be friends with her if I go out with them tonight, only to have that friendship fade away once she leaves and I become nothing to her anymore. It's a chance I can't take. It's either friends for life or no and once she moves away I feel it will be no.
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