Jump to content

Does living together take the shine off things?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

Dating is fun and even better as you get to know each other more and become more comfortable around each other. You can do your hair and makeup (girls), put a nice little outfit on, remove hair :cool: and generally make yourself look and feel sexy before getting together with your new bf/gf.

 

Sitting here all snuggly in my flat (I live alone) with no make up on, fringe scraped back, and a shiny moisturised face....I wonder how ANYONE would find me sexy looking like this :laugh::D

 

So when you finally move in together, how much does it take the shine off things?? I know it's obviously lovely to be that comfortable with someone, and there are lots of positives. But I gather this must obviously play a part in each other's sex appeal lessening over time...as you get used to each other's bad habits and see each other in 'true' form.

 

There's an element of this when you stay over at each other's houses of course, but I think you can still maintain some privacy/mystery. But not when you live together I imagine.

 

It really scares me! And so I'm interested to hear what the reality is really like.

  • Like 1
Posted

It is never the same for any couple. Some don't make it, others do. The longer you're together the more you'll get to see if you're suited for the long haul. Ya can never tell. My female cousin's marriage lasted 6 months. My ex fiance's first marriage lasted a year--suffice it to say I found out why the first marriage couldn't work. I did however live with a woman for five years. I think I could have lived with her forever and I know she still cared about me for a long time but complications about her child by another guy plus some other cultural things caused stresses that led to us parting, many years ago. One thing that blew my mind though was that we were so passionate before we moved in together--stealing love every where and any time we could. As soon as she moved in with me, she said "good night" and went to bed at like 9 o'clock and closed the bedroom door. I was gob-smacked. I wondered if I had been "had" and she just wanted someone to share the bills with. Everything changed. But turns out she was a good "home-maker" and did a lot of things keep the apartment nice. She'd move the furniture around when I was out fishing or stuff like that and it was sweet and thoughtful just to tend to that kind of stuff. It inspired me to put a lot of money into out place. It didn't bother me that she had cellulite and saggy boobs. She was more than that to me. So, if your guy loves YOU and not the personae you create with make up and clothes, you'll probably do OK. Best of luck.

  • Like 1
Posted
It really scares me! And so I'm interested to hear what the reality is really like.

 

I lived alone for nearly 20 years before getting married and cohabiting and, regardless of the marital issues we endured, I still look back positively about 'living together'. The act itself always felt comfortable and desirable, even when her shoes were being lobbed at the trash can. :D

 

You'll work it out.

Posted

It's a huge change. That's why moving in is a big deal. The curtains are down. Prior to that, you only saw the sausage. When you move in, you see how the sausage is made.

Posted

I'll be honest: If you feel your sex life will be on a decline after both lovers move in together, I would consider looking around for others.

 

Sex is the strongest medicine to keep a relationship or marriage alive. Unless both agreed beforehand that sex isn't needed as much by both male and female, you need to find someone that can keep going long after you move together.

 

No matter how attractive a woman may be, as a man, I intend to have sex until I can't have it any more. I'm looking for a woman that wants the same.

Posted
It's a huge change. That's why moving in is a big deal. The curtains are down. Prior to that, you only saw the sausage. When you move in, you see how the sausage is made.

 

 

cough........nice image.....you crack me up....well half a smile anyway....half smile inserted here...theres no icon for that....deb

  • Like 2
Posted

You need some simple rules. The woman should get up an hour earlier than the man so she has time to shave and shower, put on the makeup, and pick out a nice gown to wear each day. No taking a dump while you're home, and if she gets sick, she should go stay with her parents. Ya, I live alone, happily. :)

Posted
Dating is fun and even better as you get to know each other more and become more comfortable around each other. You can do your hair and makeup (girls), put a nice little outfit on, remove hair :cool: and generally make yourself look and feel sexy before getting together with your new bf/gf.

 

Sitting here all snuggly in my flat (I live alone) with no make up on, fringe scraped back, and a shiny moisturised face....I wonder how ANYONE would find me sexy looking like this :laugh::D

 

So when you finally move in together, how much does it take the shine off things?? I know it's obviously lovely to be that comfortable with someone, and there are lots of positives. But I gather this must obviously play a part in each other's sex appeal lessening over time...as you get used to each other's bad habits and see each other in 'true' form.

 

There's an element of this when you stay over at each other's houses of course, but I think you can still maintain some privacy/mystery. But not when you live together I imagine.

 

It really scares me! And so I'm interested to hear what the reality is really like.

 

 

Moving in together.....drink all the milk straight from the bottle without having to buy the cow.....Living together is an adjustment if you see people for people with their flaws and all and love them regardless it will work if you expect a partner to be perfect ...it wont work...you can still have mystery, some things need to be left a mystery.............deb

Posted

I have lived with one guy when I was 21, for one and a half years. Luckily for me, I got a scholarship to Paris and I was out of there. Way too young. I'd done what I do with all my projects, put all my heart into it. And yeah, the guy was enjoying the ride. Still cannot understand how come I didn't get sucked into it, because the guy was dead set on marriage.

 

It was wrong on a lot of levels. What do I think today, what advice I'd give to my best friend, my sister, even my daughter? DON'T. DO NOT. It's too much of a hassle. All relationships people start in their 20's are bound to end. And when they do, one of them - or both - need to find another place to live, buy new furniture, organize the move out / move in, when you may not be able to as much as keep a spoon between your fingers. It is just a BAAAAAAAD idea!

 

Unless you intend to marry the guy - as in you have the marriage in 6 months, and it's imminent, I say forget about it. You won't be spending money for the rent, you'll actually be investing them in your own independence.

 

I am not saying that living with a man is such a bad experience. Quite the contrary. But it's a big change. Your me time? You don't even realize how much of that you've got, today. Your gfs time? Maybe. Your watching soap operas and flick chicks? Thing again. You gotta compromise. And one always compromises more the other. It's usually the girl. Your shining face and unshaved legs will suddenly be last thing to worry, because your kitchen is sh*t, the living looks like 100 vikings rode through it, the laundry isn't done and... yeah no one took the garbage out. How good are you at giving orders and at making sure they get implemented? Unless you want to be doing all the work, you'd better get very good and convincing at that. Funny how guys suddenly turn deaf...

 

Just forget about it. With all my best intentions. It doesn't mean there's no love, or less intensity when it comes to feelings. It's just not worth it, unless you have a strong future project together, that you are both very committed to: that of starting a family.

 

If you're single, you should act and live like a single lady.

 

my 2 cents, anyway!

×
×
  • Create New...