crownjewel1 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Been dating a guy for 5 months. Last night I mentioned my birthday last year... And he asked me when my birthday is... Problem is ... We've had this conversation several times. I know his... Just felt like he doesn't care. Is that weird or am I over thinking it?
candie13 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 when's your birthday? Men are lousy with dates. Not an excuse to ignore it or act like a jerk
CautionaryTale Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Don't take that stuff to heart. My ex after over 5 years still couldn't remember my middle name. Bah, I think it's funny. Make sure you remind him before the day as to avoid hurt feelings and a fight. It's not meant as a slight to you.
candie13 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 you can always change is computer password and replace it with your date of birth! Bet he's gonna remember it ! kiddin'! just make sure you remind him at the beginning of the week when your birthday is. he'll have to take it from there.
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Overthinking! Some people are terrible with these things. Stick it on his calendar and set the reminder for a few days earlier. Remind him the day before. While you're at it, hint at how you would like to celebrate the big day. He's not a mind reader, and will be thankful for the direction. At any rate, he'll be happier than if he has to deal with your silent disappointment and hurt.
ltjg45 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I can't remember my mother or 2 of my 3 brother's birthdays. So I wouldn't be too annoyed by this.
2sure Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I know mine for sure, and my daughters. That's it . And I care about people.
TheGuard13 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Yeah, birthdates aren't a big deal unless you remind him a week prior and he forgets it then. My ex wife's birthday and my girlfriend's birthday are a day apart. Talk about confusing...
todreaminblue Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 crown jewel , is this the guy you had an affair with, so did you leave your husband? and this guy you left your husband for you are seeing now has herpes too yes?
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Just read your other threads... I would worry less about whether he remembers your birthday, and more about getting him to wear a condom since he has herpes and refuses to wear one. His lack of interest in your health, his irritation about your concerns, and his outright refusal to use protection because it impacts his sensitivity are far bigger issues than his inability to remember a particular date. Perhaps you should prioritize your concerns a little differently? For many, his behavior and attitude would be completely unacceptable. Why is it, do you think, that you tolerate and reward it instead? 2
todreaminblue Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 the dates and times given dont make much sense crown jewel, can you explain hwo everything panned out from you wanting to end the affair to being with him for five months now considering your first post doesnt correlate an the herpes post well that throws me, have you asked your husband to get checked and were you active with him too? 1
Author crownjewel1 Posted February 6, 2013 Author Posted February 6, 2013 Yeah reading my posts... I am pretty screwed up. Somehow it takes objectivity to see that.... And I guess to make matters worse I was crazy enough to see if his divorce (3 years after being filed) would be made final this week as he hoped. I had these ridiculous thoughts that I would leave my husband and we could be together. However... I found out yesterday that his ex is still asking for more money and he plans to keep fighting. So what a mess. I'm still married. He is in a horrible legal fight w his ex. He has 3 kids (which I haven't met of course) He has herpes. And he's broke... Due to the divorce. So this isn't exactly what one would want. Why do I feel so hung up on such a loser?
TaraMaiden Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Because he can't remember your birthday...........?
FitChick Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Why do I feel so hung up on such a loser? Because you don't really believe you deserve anyone better.
todreaminblue Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Yeah reading my posts... I am pretty screwed up. Somehow it takes objectivity to see that.... And I guess to make matters worse I was crazy enough to see if his divorce (3 years after being filed) would be made final this week as he hoped. I had these ridiculous thoughts that I would leave my husband and we could be together. However... I found out yesterday that his ex is still asking for more money and he plans to keep fighting. So what a mess. I'm still married. He is in a horrible legal fight w his ex. He has 3 kids (which I haven't met of course) He has herpes. And he's broke... Due to the divorce. So this isn't exactly what one would want. Why do I feel so hung up on such a loser? I am extremely objective, you confused me and that doesnt take objectivity to admit, We all stuff up you have stuffed up by involving yourself with a pretty messed up guy......it isnt helping you have clarity or adding joy to your life in any way......I have a rule of thumb with guys, if they dont make you feel good about yourself if you are more confused with them than without, they arent right for you...love is simple, love is kind...love never leaves you in two minds.......i wish you the best ...i think you know what you have to do......best of luck ....deb 2
Author crownjewel1 Posted February 6, 2013 Author Posted February 6, 2013 The hard part is when I'm with him... I do laugh and turn into the person I used to know. But then there are all the weird parts. Very weird .. That I need to see head on. I have trouble saying goodbye... I have tried and lost my guts. Would it be horrible if I did it via email ? Text?
TaraMaiden Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 Then don't say anything. Someone help me understand why a goodbye HAS to be announced, given communicated or transmitted? What's the point? What do you expect to achieve? What do you actually WANT to achieve....? Really, in your situation, it's just prolonging the agony.... 1
Author crownjewel1 Posted February 6, 2013 Author Posted February 6, 2013 Well considering how close we are right now in daily communication/texts... If I just fell off the map I think he would think I was hurt or missing or something. I'm guessing he'd end up trying to track me down. But I suppose you are right in saying it is prolonging the agony.
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