progfan71 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 I think the title says it all without me going into too much detail. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me 3 months ago, and reconciled with her ex-husband 1 month ago. She and I are still in contact, and she says she cares for me and loves me, and wants me to get better (I am in treatment for depression). What are my chances? Has anyone been in a similar situation? Please don't comment "NC and move on". That isn't helpful! Thanks
TaraMaiden Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 I think the title says it all without me going into too much detail. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me 3 months ago, and reconciled with her ex-husband 1 month ago. She and I are still in contact, and she says she cares for me and loves me, and wants me to get better (I am in treatment for depression). What are my chances? Has anyone been in a similar situation? Please don't comment "NC and move on". That isn't helpful! Thanks NC and move on. It may not be helpful, but it's the best you'll get. She's foolish to still keep in touch with you, because it's not actually doing anything constructive to help your condition....Does her husband know she still talks to you? She sounds a bit of a cake-eater.... Questions: How long were they married, before? Why did they split up? How long after she divorced him, did you meet her? How long were you two together? (Trust me - she was in contact with him before you guys broke up....)
Author progfan71 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 Yes, she was in contact with him because they have children together. They were married for over 12 years. I met her when they had been divorced for 2 years. It was a nasty divorce. She and I were together for 1 year. I want her back, and I'm afraid that if i go NC, it will make it easier for her to forget me and be happy with her ex.
AlexfromBoston Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 I think the title says it all without me going into too much detail. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me 3 months ago, and reconciled with her ex-husband 1 month ago. She and I are still in contact, and she says she cares for me and loves me, and wants me to get better (I am in treatment for depression). What are my chances? Has anyone been in a similar situation? Please don't comment "NC and move on". That isn't helpful! Thanks You were pretty much a rebound, a person that she used to boost her mood(and perhaps her morale) during her darkest days. You were just another victim of her failed marriage. Now, maybe her attempt to reconcile with her ex-husband will prove fruitless, and you may stand another chance...but do you really want that? She just crushed your heart and chances are pretty good that she was sexually involved with her ex while maintaining a relationship with you. You don't need that heartache, the headaches, and the baggage. Enjoy life and if she comes back, play it by ear. Her marriage failed once for a reason...im sure it'll fall apart again.
fungusamungus Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 I want her back, and I'm afraid that if i go NC, it will make it easier for her to forget me and be happy with her ex.There is basically nothing you can do to prevent this.
Author progfan71 Posted February 6, 2013 Author Posted February 6, 2013 I would be very surprised if she was sexually involved with her ex while with me. She hated him throughout our relationship and would always argue with him. Dealing with all of this while being depressed is killing me. I want to be angry at her but i can't.
TaraMaiden Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 yeah. She was so angry with him and argued with him so much, that - she's back with him. Don't delude yourself, sweetheart. She's with him, and not with you. You became her soft place to fall, and now she's playing 'the caring ex-' only it's not making things better - is it?
lovnlost Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 This happened to me with my last relationship. She left me and went back to her ex. Got NC for almost two years until yesterday. She is with someone new. I said hello back and said happy trails. I am not totally rude after all and besides, they had kids together and we were a long distance thing blah blah. Its hard to be in the way of family and that many years of history. I feel for you...I really do. I got the same earful about her ex too. It was the hardest few months I went through in an while. Now I have new pain caused by my own stupid deeds! I understand your pain...I do....but now it really is best to try and heal and move forward. Think about it this way....your messing with another man's wife. And getting in the way of that will cause more drama and heartache than you want to go through. I assure you of this. Take care and hold your head high and be thankful you got to share it with a woman who knows how to be a wife. They are beautiful creatures and so patient because their years married has showed them how to be there for someone as a partner through thick and thin. I am hoping to get my ex back....then maybe I can have the wife I dream of. Almost ruins us to go back to dating singles who have never been married yet lol.
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