Can you guys reassure me,

[jags2bowl27]

Okay I'm gonna go on a bit of a rant.... I'm not going to lie, I'm frustrated with myself right now. Not only am I not over my breakup that happened 5 months ago after she left me (did not cheat) for some other guy, I now have gotten my hopes up with two other women, one I was with for two months and broke it off and another just recently that I probably screwed up due to being too pushy. It still bothers me that my ex is with the same guy she left me for.... It kills me actually. I'm usually so confident and I know, I shouldn't need someone else to make me happy or make me complete. I love going to the gym but for some reason with work and school when ever a girl is introduced into my life I stop going which also pisses me off.

 

The second girl is throwing me breadcrumbs and I feel like an option to her but its only been 3 weeks of talking. I feel like I'm a mess, my head is stretched in so many direction and I just need a break from all of it. But then, I get jealous because the love of my life is content with another guy.

 

Can someone PLeASe set my mind straight... I'm an attractive guy I think, athletic and make a lot of money for my age (24)... Already have my own house too. My self worth is so much more and I keep trying to remind myself of that but i forget it within an hr.

 

Please help

[KatZee]

You need to be single. For real.

 

Love, and relationships are not competitions. Who cares if your ex is still with the guy she left you for? You are going to wind up sitting around wasting your own life while your busy focusing on hers.

 

The best revenge is to be successful in YOUR life. You're not being successful right now, you're broken down and she probably sees that. It only strengthens her current relationship because right now you have no value. You have no interests, you've stopped doing things that you enjoy, it's no wonder girls are passing on you left and right. You're not relationship material right now.

 

You need to heal and move on from the past relationship before you get into a new one. A new girl isn't going to magically heal your heart, you're going to wind up using someone as a rebound and then wake up one day with no real interest in her.

 

Focus on you. Block your ex wherever you can see her. Stop looking up her life and whether or not she's still with this guy. It's completely irrelevant.

Go out with your friends, get back into working out. Take up new hobbies. Start doing things you've never done before.

 

When you focus on yourself, the focus is removed from your ex. And soon a day turns into a week, and then into a month, and before you know it you're going to be this whole new person, happy and excited about life and ready to have someone else be a part of it. You're not at that point right now. Don't drag other people into your mess.

 

It will get better when you start putting the effort into it.

[jags2bowl27]

You need to be single. For real.

 

Love, and relationships are not competitions. Who cares if your ex is still with the guy she left you for? You are going to wind up sitting around wasting your own life while your busy focusing on hers.

 

The best revenge is to be successful in YOUR life. You're not being successful right now, you're broken down and she probably sees that. It only strengthens her current relationship because right now you have no value. You have no interests, you've stopped doing things that you enjoy, it's no wonder girls are passing on you left and right. You're not relationship material right now.

 

You need to heal and move on from the past relationship before you get into a new one. A new girl isn't going to magically heal your heart, you're going to wind up using someone as a rebound and then wake up one day with no real interest in her.

 

Focus on you. Block your ex wherever you can see her. Stop looking up her life and whether or not she's still with this guy. It's completely irrelevant.

Go out with your friends, get back into working out. Take up new hobbies. Start doing things you've never done before.

 

When you focus on yourself, the focus is removed from your ex. And soon a day turns into a week, and then into a month, and before you know it you're going to be this whole new person, happy and excited about life and ready to have someone else be a part of it. You're not at that point right now. Don't drag other people into your mess.

 

It will get better when you start putting the effort into it.

 

See and the frustrating part about this all, I KNOW ALL OF THIS, and your 100% right. I shouldn't care, I should want to make myself happy and live my life and I dont want to bring other people into my mess. But when I sit at home at night, and I am alone, that is what gets me. I have friends, they just do nothing during the week. I know working out is what is best for me and in the summer I will be taking up surfing, it just is too cold right now.

 

I really really really just WANT to move on already, and be happy. Honestly, I dont want her back and dont think after all of this that there is any grounds to even progress a relationship. I know deep down its not about ME and HER, its my competitive side coming out and wanting to "win." I dont know how to change this, Ive been brought up to win, and when I want something I fight for it... its how I have been raised.

 

So my question is, I want to move on, so now I need to FIGHT for that. Any suggestion on how to forgive someone that did me so much hurt? I keep hearing you cant move on unless you forgive but I dont know how. Im holding a grudge.

[KatZee]

If your friends don't do anything why don't you take it upon yourself to make new friends? You can't rely on other people to keep you entertained and happy and busy doing things.

 

When my ex dumped me I lost EVERYTHING. That was the only circle of friends I was hanging out with b/c I had recently moved from out of state. He had a large family, I have a super small one. When he was gone I had nothing. No family, no friends to hang out with. I was miserable, and scared b/c I was on my own.

 

After a month or so I really started taking things into my own hands. I started reconnecting with people I hadn't talked to in years. I moved into my own new apartment and met up with my old friends. I also joined Meetup.com and met a whole new crowd of girls who I now see on a regular basis. There is now always someone around to do something.

 

I also started saying yes to everything. If I get an invite I don't turn it down. If it's something I've never done before, even better.

 

I'm 8/9 months post break up and I'm the happiest I've been in years. I'm finally at peace with myself, my life, my friends, my job, EVERYTHING.

 

And who cares if you're holding a grudge. I'm a Libra and that's what we do best. Hold grudges. I will forever hold a grudge against my ex. I hate him. However as time goes on you'll notice that the emotion behind those words starts to fade. I say those things, but really... there's nothing behind it. I couldn't care any less about my ex than I do now. You'll get there too when you start evolving as a person. When you start growing and pushing forward.

[jags2bowl27]

If your friends don't do anything why don't you take it upon yourself to make new friends? You can't rely on other people to keep you entertained and happy and busy doing things.

 

When my ex dumped me I lost EVERYTHING. That was the only circle of friends I was hanging out with b/c I had recently moved from out of state. He had a large family, I have a super small one. When he was gone I had nothing. No family, no friends to hang out with. I was miserable, and scared b/c I was on my own.

 

After a month or so I really started taking things into my own hands. I started reconnecting with people I hadn't talked to in years. I moved into my own new apartment and met up with my old friends. I also joined Meetup.com and met a whole new crowd of girls who I now see on a regular basis. There is now always someone around to do something.

 

I also started saying yes to everything. If I get an invite I don't turn it down. If it's something I've never done before, even better.

 

I'm 8/9 months post break up and I'm the happiest I've been in years. I'm finally at peace with myself, my life, my friends, my job, EVERYTHING.

 

And who cares if you're holding a grudge. I'm a Libra and that's what we do best. Hold grudges. I will forever hold a grudge against my ex. I hate him. However as time goes on you'll notice that the emotion behind those words starts to fade. I say those things, but really... there's nothing behind it. I couldn't care any less about my ex than I do now. You'll get there too when you start evolving as a person. When you start growing and pushing forward.

 

Thanks so much Kat, you really made me feel better today. I have to do this, I know I do and I know I can. It just comes down to wanting it for myself. I just want it to stop

[Ladybugz]

be single

 

get over your ex

 

find out who you are what you want what you need to work on as a person

[jags2bowl27]

be single

 

get over your ex

 

find out who you are what you want what you need to work on as a person

 

I know what I want, someone mature and ready to settle down lol