OSCAR_BUSTOS21 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 (edited) I broke up with her on boxing day and three days before, attempted to reconcile 5 days later but she stated a break was needed. It's been just over a month with constant contact and several dates. She misses me, loves me and gets really jealous when I stated I would go and see a former ex (just as friends). The sex has been out of this world and her reaction when with me is staring and constant affection. Recent contact from her (everyday texts 1472 texts sent between us in the month, 98% intiated by her) shows. sh has also drunk dialled several times. Here is her words from text: I love u, I miss u,I want to marry u,settle for me,i'll b alone forever, I can't lose u, ur the most amazing person, will only be happy with u. Think u get the picture. We have been together 3 and a half years, moved in after 8 months together and met in thailand (not thai though). She moved from a little town 45 minutes away and moved even though her job was near where she used to live. After initially meeting her I still had an ex lingering around. Anyway I dropped my ex and decided to date this young lady. Eveything went very well, holidays in the sun, travelling for long periods in the summer everything was amazing. We moved in and never looked back, constant talk of marriage and moving back to her home town. Before christmas my father told me he would give me three houses and I jumped at the chance. She wasn't to happy as she said they would keep us from moving and I then told her to go and find someone else, but nothing happend and we swept it under the carpet. 3 weeks later get a permanent contract at a college and take the job (near me). I phone her to tell her the good news and she seems happy but cries at the end of the phonecall. Anyway the month leading up to christmas is a nightmare, I get negative and start to consider the future and she seems distant. I buy a ring and then tell her about it,after an arguement and she says keep it but I tell her I sent it back. I am controlling, she says I have trust issues (as I didnt like her going drinking), hates the house where we used to live only because she pays my bro 250 per month and pays 250 on petrol, doesn't like my dads influence etc. I believe this girl to be honest. I tried going nc but she pestered the life out of me about it. Whats up, will she come back? I am really worried that I've pushed her away and see this as my 'one'. I'm working on my trust issues and feel I'm doing good. Thing is I've played a good game really, played hard to get last week and since she has upped our dates to twice a week. I have also the opportunity to go to australia to live in the summer (a dream she shared with me) however I have told her I'm going with my mate, she reacted badly and wanted an invite, not sure if she would take it anyway. She's requested I see her thursday and sat and has invited me to valentines day I'm considering playing his card to play her bluff: Look I think we are doing really well atm and we'r both testing the waters, I'm enjoying the ride with u and will continue to till I go away. U don't have to worry about giving me false hope as I just enjoy spnding time with u. How can I play hard to get, what should I do??? I really love this girl and need to show her that I've changed Any advice would be great. Edited February 5, 2013 by OSCAR_BUSTOS21 spelling
gonefishin Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Ok I'm gonna give my honest opinion and speak from my own experience See all these games you play and all these little tests you put out are great for boosting your ego and showing you just how much she will go /do for you.. I done this too and I look back and now and feel horrible to have treated someone i love like that.. It's not fair man she doesn't deserve it. You want her try make it work If you don't let her go .. Let the games stop .. Cause if u do love her and feel you maybe can't live without her .. She's the one holding the trump card and not u ! The one saying I liked that came to mind is "don't gamble what you can't afford to lose".. Maybe go no contact for a week or two and both see what you both want ... I wish you well just be Careful. Ask anyone here .. Broken hearts suck ;(
Author OSCAR_BUSTOS21 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 Gaming playing has got me in this mess tbh, but playing a lil hard to get has worked quite well. Suppose she feels hurt after being dumped and no1 in he right mind would want to go straight back. That said I bet it sparks her interest but she does hold the trump card. Is she warming to me do u think?
Sav Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 I've been playing games for both of my serious exes. 1 for 4 years. Another for 2.5 years. And there's a reason why they are my exes. We had strong connections and seemed to be the couple that will last forever in everybody's eyes. But game playing screwed it all up. I learnt my lesson and really all those head-games may be great in the moment but they fk every single thing up in time to come. Trust me.
Author OSCAR_BUSTOS21 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 Do I be honest, I won't be admitting all my feelings and I won't be walked on. Maybe I should just be me for a bloody change. She just text saying she loves seeing me and wants to do something exciting. Man I hate being in love with her its crippling not to have her by my side .
flitzanu Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 no. game playing and manipulation is not going to get you anywhere with this girl, or any girl for that matter. if you keep up what you're doing with her, you're going to be stringing YOURSELF along.
Author OSCAR_BUSTOS21 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 I'm clueless tbh, I need a game plan big style. She's coming over thurs, I fully intend on giving her the night of her life. What's gonna get this lady back???
flitzanu Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 I'm clueless tbh, I need a game plan big style. She's coming over thurs, I fully intend on giving her the night of her life. What's gonna get this lady back??? you can't force her to love you, and you can't force her to change her mind. "what's gonna get this lady back" is going to be her making that decision on her own.
Author OSCAR_BUSTOS21 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 But is it normal for a girl to text all the time, asking me out and asking questions.? What I wanna know is how do I act, we've had great dates of late?
williamshakespeare Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Just be yourself on Thurs - be fun, crack jokes, put her at ease - go back to the old Oscar that she fell in love with. Don't be all clingy and deep - don't talk about the relationship and what went wrong etc., Don't tell her you've changed and all that cr#p. I wouldn't send her that text that you're suggesting. You're playing with fire there! You don't need to force the issue like that. If you want to do anything to get your 'power' back - just don't be readily available to her ie at the drop of a hat.....but I think you've started doing that anyway. Enjoy the Ride. Good luck!
Author OSCAR_BUSTOS21 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 You've been dishing out some decent info of late. I'm trying to be positive about this whole thing really, we simply couldn't have continued the relationship we had. Look to the future I guess, I think she may be constantly texting till she finds a guy tbh. She hasn't filled that void yet. Whats your situation anyway??
williamshakespeare Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 She may come back to you yet - you're in a better position than a lot of guys. Not sure what my situation is - We're both scared I guess cos we're crazy bout each other and afraid of getting hurt- I tried to let her go on Sunday but I failed miserably . I'll keep you posted pal.
Recommended Posts