Author zanesfan Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 I gave him the boot. It wasn't hard but it needed to be done. He took it well. And we will remain friends. He said he appreciates me and I will always be special to him. So that was nice.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 I know plenty of very smart, cool people who can barely support themselves - and this guy can't even do that! I'd never date someone who can't even take care of himself.
kaylan Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 That was quick. So much for that original post saying how hes everything you wanted. I knew youd be able to get rid of him without fuss or muss. You didnt seem that emotionally into him, and his job and home situation just compounded that. Best of luck
Ruby Slippers Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 So much for that original post saying how hes everything you wanted. That was my first thought - if he's a deadbeat, he's not everything you want. I've been guilty of this, too. He's everything I want! EXCEPT...
ltjg45 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Hmm... Let me tell you all the ways that yes, it makes me better. It makes me better because I recognize that life comes with a price tag and the only person responsible for mine is ME. It makes me better because eventually I want to be able to provide a financially secure and stable life for me, my spouse and our children, which doesn't include scraping by or going without. It makes me better because I'll be able to send my kids to college some day. It makes me better because I have a sense of pride and would rather wait tables than sleep in my parents' basement or on a friend's couch. It makes me better because while I take care of my own basic needs, I still have money to do FUN THINGS. Life is short and I can travel if I want, buy clothes when I want, you name it. (Hey - imagine that!) Want me to keep going??? Get off your ass and go make a difference, slacker! That is the only thing I disagree with. I, as a parent, should NOT be responsible for making sure any offspring of mine make it through college off of my hard-earned money. As a parent, you are responsible for raising your child so he can be a respectable adult. Anything else is merely a bonus and entirely up to you.
Green Light Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 (edited) I bought a house 3 years ago and I want to buy a bigger home in 5 years. I have a car, and I work. Im in my last year for my bachelors. My home is fully furnished and I have done everything for myself by myself. ..with the bank's help in the form of a mortgage and financing for the car and the degree, I'm guessing... Edited February 5, 2013 by Green Light
StanMusial Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 I've only known a couple of guys who could ever get away with this. They were both described as "extremely goodlooking" by girls I know. One of them married this fat little girl and lives off her and her families money. The other one was arrested for B&E a couple of years ago. I think he's in the pen.
Green Light Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 So what? The clear majority of people do things this way..and your point would be...??? My point is that there are so many people who say "I DO IT ALL BY MYSELF"! No they don't. They get up and go to work and make their payments, sure. But the bank owns it all! So, think with me here for a moment. The guy living with his parents may be the absolute lowest form of garbage ever(which most here think he is) but he may have no debt whereas the "self sufficient" person may have their "own" place and be swimming in debt. I find debt to be unattractive. So I would much rather date a woman living with her parents and no debt vs. the latter. Plus, I don't care how the majority are doing it. Making it totally on your own means making it TOTALLY on your own otherwise you are reliant on someone out there for your lifestyle. End of rant and now everyone can get back on their high horse!
Author zanesfan Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 That was quick. So much for that original post saying how hes everything you wanted. I knew youd be able to get rid of him without fuss or muss. You didnt seem that emotionally into him, and his job and home situation just compounded that. Best of luck Well he was ALMOST everything I wanted. He had potential if it wasn't for the financial part.
Drseussgrrl Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 My point is that there are so many people who say "I DO IT ALL BY MYSELF"! No they don't. They get up and go to work and make their payments, sure. But the bank owns it all! So, think with me here for a moment. The guy living with his parents may be the absolute lowest form of garbage ever(which most here think he is) but he may have no debt whereas the "self sufficient" person may have their "own" place and be swimming in debt. I find debt to be unattractive. So I would much rather date a woman living with her parents and no debt vs. the latter. Plus, I don't care how the majority are doing it. Making it totally on your own means making it TOTALLY on your own otherwise you are reliant on someone out there for your lifestyle. End of rant and now everyone can get back on their high horse! Yeah? And who's paying the mortgage on the house she lives in? NOT HER.
Drseussgrrl Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 That is the only thing I disagree with. I, as a parent, should NOT be responsible for making sure any offspring of mine make it through college off of my hard-earned money. As a parent, you are responsible for raising your child so he can be a respectable adult. Anything else is merely a bonus and entirely up to you. Fair enough. My parents didn't put me through college. I served in the military and used my GI bill. But it's one luxury I'd like to be able to afford my own kids.
Green Light Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Yeah? And who's paying the mortgage on the house she lives in? NOT HER. So what? If her and her family are all happy with the arrangement what does it matter? Debt=slavery. I would rather not date a slave.
Author zanesfan Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 My point is that there are so many people who say "I DO IT ALL BY MYSELF"! No they don't. They get up and go to work and make their payments, sure. But the bank owns it all! So, think with me here for a moment. The guy living with his parents may be the absolute lowest form of garbage ever(which most here think he is) but he may have no debt whereas the "self sufficient" person may have their "own" place and be swimming in debt. I find debt to be unattractive. So I would much rather date a woman living with her parents and no debt vs. the latter. Plus, I don't care how the majority are doing it. Making it totally on your own means making it TOTALLY on your own otherwise you are reliant on someone out there for your lifestyle. End of rant and now everyone can get back on their high horse! It's funny that I have never in my 30 years come across someone who had their car, house, and student loans paid off. Please show me that person. That average American. 2
FitChick Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 A man who states in his dating profile that he is "a dreamer" is always like this guy. A red flag. I don't buy the argument that someone who is creative gets a free pass. A friend of mine is an artist and he worked two jobs during the day so he could pay for his studio and paint during the evenings to get a body of work to show an agent. He got the agent, sold many paintings, was written up in major publications. He was and still is very ambitious and hardworking. There are a few rare women who would rather be tough corporate executives and have a househusband at home doing the domestic chores. Maybe this guy can find a woman like that.
TigerCub Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 ROFL...you like living the "simple life" - that your parents (or someone ELSE) has to work in order to provide for you. Good thing OTHERS have ambition or who would you mooch off of? I guess having no ambition and looking to others to support you will certainly afford you all the TIME in the world to seek matters of the 'heart.' And lastly, when you're out at the local watering hole for $1 a draft night, what's the pickup line you use with the ladies? "Hey - want to come back to my mom's crib and watch a video in the basement with me?" How's that been working for ya? Jesus. "actually no, mom cancelled cable to punish me for not making my bed - but we can always sit and write poetry...Awesome heart felt poems about living the simple life" 1
FitChick Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Well he was ALMOST everything I wanted. He had potential. Dangerous words when you are dating! 2
Drseussgrrl Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 So what? If her and her family are all happy with the arrangement what does it matter? Debt=slavery. I would rather not date a slave. And I'd rather not date a mooch. Ever plan on buying a house, by the way? Haha, I can just see it now. You're having dinner at your girlfriend's parents' beautiful home, that she's living in rent-free, and referring to her folks as "slaves". I'm sure that'll go over real well. You do realize that by renting, you'll never have anything to show for your money, right?
ltjg45 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Fair enough. My parents didn't put me through college. I served in the military and used my GI bill. But it's one luxury I'd like to be able to afford my own kids. That's fine. I just want to stop the thought process that kids think they can get a free pass to the top of the corporate world. After all, this is why we got so many pitiful men and women in this world right now. So many living off of welfare (including me and I HATE it), getting food stamps, creating kids, doing completely nothing.....all because the successful adults think they are responsible for making sure their children are well-kept despite they don't deserve it. If they want to go to college, they have to earn it. Nothing in this world is free, not even welfare. You still got to fill out the application, you still have to go to your scheduled appointments, and you still have to abide by the state's rules to keep whatever welfare money you get. No more freebies. I may have little but I fought for it. You want it? Go get it.
Green Light Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 It's funny that I have never in my 30 years come across someone who had their car, house, and student loans paid off. Please show me that person. That average American. They are out there. They are rare, but they are out there. My point is, if you are counting on some other entity(the bank) to finance your lifestyle and "independence" then you aren't really doing anything all that different than the guy living at home.
StanMusial Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 It's funny that I have never in my 30 years come across someone who had their car, house, and student loans paid off. Please show me that person. That average American. I have all that. I actually ditched a girl a few of years ago that told me on our FIRST date that she was $60,000 in debt, for school loans and she never even finished her degree. 1
Green Light Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 And I'd rather not date a mooch. Ever plan on buying a house, by the way? Haha, I can just see it now. You're having dinner at your girlfriend's parents' beautiful home, that she's living in rent-free, and referring to her folks as "slaves". I'm sure that'll go over real well. You do realize that by renting, you'll never have anything to show for your money, right? There is no guarantee in these volatile times that you'll have anything to show for your money by buying a house! Many people are currently upside down. You are living at the whim of the market.
Drseussgrrl Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 That's fine. I just want to stop the thought process that kids think they can get a free pass to the top of the corporate world. After all, this is why we got so many pitiful men and women in this world right now. So many living off of welfare (including me and I HATE it), getting food stamps, creating kids, doing completely nothing.....all because the successful adults think they are responsible for making sure their children are well-kept despite they don't deserve it. If they want to go to college, they have to earn it. Nothing in this world is free, not even welfare. You still got to fill out the application, you still have to go to your scheduled appointments, and you still have to abide by the state's rules to keep whatever welfare money you get. No more freebies. I may have little but I fought for it. You want it? Go get it. Eh - I disagree. I think with the way things are now, college is pretty much a given to "make it", and if I can do that for my kids I'd be more than happy to. After all they still have to earn the degree themselves. Sorry you've fallen on tough times, though. I've been broke before too and it's stressful.
ltjg45 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Eh - I disagree. I think with the way things are now, college is pretty much a given to "make it", and if I can do that for my kids I'd be more than happy to. After all they still have to earn the degree themselves. Sorry you've fallen on tough times, though. I've been broke before too and it's stressful. Was born in the ghetto so I take life lessons earlier and much harsher. I also was used by my parents for their own advantages so I was quick to hate and not so easy to forget about it. I don't forgive easily. I also learned, the hard way, that anyone is replaceable and can easily be forgotten, including my parents and including me. Despite all of this, it did turn me into a "no-nonsense" kind of male. I simply have no tolerance for arrogance and stupidity anymore. I seen almost everything now.
Drseussgrrl Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Was born in the ghetto so I take life lessons earlier and much harsher. I also was used by my parents for their own advantages so I was quick to hate and not so easy to forget about it. I don't forgive easily. I also learned, the hard way, that anyone is replaceable and can easily be forgotten, including my parents and including me. Despite all of this, it did turn me into a "no-nonsense" kind of male. I simply have no tolerance for arrogance and stupidity anymore. I seen almost everything now. I'm not really sure what this has to do with what you quoted. I'm self-made also and wasn't given squat. No car, no college, no nothing. But I don't think we're trying to figure out who's had it "tougher" here are we? It's what you do with what you got. And luckily I was born with a brain and the know-how to use it.
ltjg45 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 I'm not really sure what this has to do with what you quoted. I'm self-made also and wasn't given squat. No car, no college, no nothing. But I don't think we're trying to figure out who's had it "tougher" here are we? It's what you do with what you got. And luckily I was born with a brain and the know-how to use it. Yeah, don't mind me. I can get crazy at times. I just look at it as a price for keeping my sanity after all I went through. I apologize.
Recommended Posts