Dangraystyle Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 I've seen my girlfriend 8 times. Every single one of them I have come to her area(which takes me an hour). This has been fine for 2 reasons: She lives in London which is far more interesting than my boring little town and she lives in her own flat, where as I live with my parents. However my parents are going out of the country for a few days and I want her to come back to mine. Things in this relationship are getting better and better, but what if she refuses? Is it a bad sign that she's not making the same amount of effort that I am? She hasn't said no yet. I will update the thread later with an answer.
Els Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 If she says no with no valid reason, I'd take it as a pretty bad sign.
TouchedByViolet Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 You sound worried. The best thing you can do is hope for the best and don't let the worst bother you. If she likes you I can't image her declining the invitation without good reason.
Author Dangraystyle Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 (edited) OP, why are you so negative towards this?? You haven't even asked yet FFS.... If the relationship is "getting better and better" why are you filling your head with stupid negative thoughts... what is your basis for those? where are they coming from? I feel overall ive put more effort into this relationship, so im very curious to how shes going to respond to this. As ive stated, ive always been making alot of the efforts on the dates. We had outgoing dates the first 4 times and I paid for all of them 3 of which ranged from £30-40. Im going to be paying for us to go out again soon for horse riding which is going to be VERY expensive for me. She hasn't done anything like that. Having said that, I am fine paying all this and doing these things because our attraction and compatibility to each other is very strong. Im just curious as to what effort the woman should be giving in the relationship? Is it sex? Is that her end of the bargain? We have amazing sex but shes told me how much she loves it to and how turned on by me she is. So its still an equal thing. So with all that said, when it comes to outside of the box effort, were not on the same level. She finishes work soon so i'll update on what her answer is in a bit. Also I already asked her on her lunch break. She hasnt said yes or no. But she may be avoiding doing it. But she has also said: "Im not trying to make excuses because I know you always come to me" Edited February 5, 2013 by Dangraystyle
clia Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Having said that, I am fine paying all this and doing these things because our attraction and compatibility to each other is very strong. Then what are you here complaining about? Im just curious as to what effort the woman should be giving in the relationship? In my opinion, past date 3 she should be offering to pay sometimes -- if not for the entire date, at least smaller parts of the date such as cab fare, coffee, dessert, tip, etc. So yeah, about now she should start picking up some of the financial obligations. As far as going out to your house, it depends. You admit there is more to do where she is. Should she go to your house occasionally? Probably, yes, but I don't find it horrible that she hasn't done so to this point. So with all that said, when it comes to outside of the box effort, were not on the same level. Dude, you've paid for four dates and gone to her location eight times. Let's not act like you have given up your firstborn child or something. You are still in the very beginning stages of the relationship. This kind of stuff usually works itself out.
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