when woman say "all guys are the same"

[stealyourface]

for the woman on the forum, do you guys truly mean that?. A girl that i like always says this but I don't think she realizes she dated immature guys and she was younger.. it's a real bummer because i don't want her to already have ideas on how i am as a person without truly getting to know me, we've been texting and message frequently and ill be seeing her at a local jazz club that im in the houseband that she always goes to, talking about normal things just getting to know her, not being a flirt (never could flirt for my life haha, just made things awkward) just friendly conversation about ourselves..

 

Now with today with social networking being the biggest thing, she had me join tumblr, which i never heard of before (i know i must have been living under a rock) and if you dont know what tumblr is its kinda sorta like facebook, but more like a blog where you can post pictures, GIFs, videos, qoutes on your "dashboard" for people to see. but back to the story.. so asked me to make one so i did and followed hers, and since ive followed her I'm kinda sure she's trying to tell me something. A picture she put while we were actually in a long text conversation was "I turned out liking you more than i originally planned" but i dont like jumping the gun on things so i wont make any conclusions, could be about someone else haha.

 

If you're a woman that has said this before, you don't truly that do you?

[boaaaar]

for the woman on the forum, do you guys truly mean that?. A girl that i like always says this but I don't think she realizes she dated immature guys and she was younger.. it's a real bummer because i don't want her to already have ideas on how i am as a person without truly getting to know me

No she doesn't mean it. It's a simple way for having the white knights going through hoops to prove her wrong and make her feel better about herself. It's like kids throwing inconsequential tamper tantrums. If she really believed it, she wouldn't bother going around telling it, there would be no point.

[pbjbear]

I say and it I mean 90% of men are all the same. Most men I find, despite their temperament/personality/character are more selfish and shallow than the majority of women I meet. I think women tend to have more emotional depth and look inside a person. This is a statement I make on numbers...meaning the % of "good men" and "good women" There are good men but they are RARE, there are more good women out there (though there are certainly some nasty women too...)

 

I also truly believe men, in general not 100%, are emotionally weaker than women which makes it hard for me to find a guy I would want to marry. Men today seem to be so emotionally immature and I dont feel like dealing with it

 

People on this site dont believe me when I say average looking men can act the same as a super hot alpha man with options. Or that men without options treat women bad. Or that average men tend to just show their true colors later on in dating.

 

I think society reinforces the idea that women are supposed to be the caring nurturing selfless types and men get a free pass to be rude insensitive and mean. There are endless excuses for men acting this way...so many variations of "hes a guy" "boys will be boys" Women can def be selfish and rude too so not saying they arent, but all the phrases used to describe them are derogatory. There are no free passes for women to be mean...in conclusion I dont think its entirely a man's fault that they tend to be so selfish.

 

With gender quality becoming more and more true, eventually all will be the same however. Right now we are in a transition period.

 

I find it very difficult to read through the Sexual Issues and Cheating & Flirting Forums on this site with all the double standards so men can be selfish. Drives me bonkers

[pbjbear]

My statements are not out of personal bitterness but tons of observation.

 

There are some women out there that can look at the world around them and think critically. I dont care what people on the internet think, scientific studies back up the majroty of things I say on this site. I work in a research field and whenever I make observations and see a pattern I always look up scientific studies. Curiosity is a huge part of my personality and thats one of the reasons why I loooooooooove research

 

Studies have shown over and over men tend to be more emotionally immature and weaker than women, no matter what age. The difference lessens when men get older but its still there nonetheless

 

The double standards I talk about this site have also been proven over and over again in scientific studies

 

One of the reasons I love research is well conducted research that goes through scientific standards and has a huge sample size DOES NOT LIE. Individual exceptions exist everywhere, but general statements from these studies are accurate. The problem is people sometimes dont want to hear the answer because it doesnt fit into their fairytale view of the world

[crude]

 

I also truly believe men, in general not 100%, are emotionally weaker than women which makes it hard for me to find a guy I would want to marry. Men today seem to be so emotionally immature and I dont feel like dealing with it

 

 

Maybe women just want too much from a man in marriage. The man is somehow expected to give up his true nature and be monogamous, be an economic slave while the woman decides if she'll work, work part time, or never work again. He's also expected to be the brave protector if danger ever occurs. It's like an extension of dating where the man pays, picks up, protects, while the entitled woman does nothing but judge him.

[pbjbear]

And yet not a single study was linked.

 

They arent studies off of PsychologyToday or popular magazines...those research studies are low quality and crappy. If you would like me to give you the site where you have to pay $ to look at quality research, PM me because I have over 50 databases I use for work. (you would have to pay for many of them...)

 

I also use my old school email addresses to access those academic databases as well

Most universities, you need a school address to access them...

Edited February 5, 2013 by pbjbear

[Kingtut380]

While I don't disagree entirely with pbjbear these studies will never prove causation about any of this. There is simply no way to objectively come up with any conclusions about matters like these.

 

Men want one thing, woman want another, and every now and again we meet in the middle.

[Dusk1983]

So when she says "all men are scumbags" while you're standing right next to her and you're not a scumbag it's not that she doesn't mean what she's saying, it means she doesn't view you fully as a male.

 

A brilliantly and painfully accurate statement. Nobody can argue with it, nobody has even tried. Nobody has even quoted it. On LS that's proof.

[quietGuy13]

Actually not all guys are the same. I'm unemplyed without money or career and other guys have jobs.

 

SO there, i proved it

[stealyourface]

No she doesn't mean it. It's a simple way for having the white knights going through hoops to prove her wrong and make her feel better about herself. It's like kids throwing inconsequential tamper tantrums. If she really believed it, she wouldn't bother going around telling it, there would be no point.

 

makes sense to me. thanks for all the answers guys. one thing is I'm older then all the other guys she dated. not by much but it's at the age where a couple years is a big difference in maturiity.

 

Maybe someone can help me out with this question too, so she texts me at about 12:00 yesterday saying hey, we were chatting till about 7 then my phone was about to die and i told her i'd text her when i get back to my house. I texted her when i got home and she replied that she's in an awful broken mood and can't talk to anyone at the moment, i apologized and told her i hope she feels better. Now I'm not entirely sure what happened during those 4 hours i was gone but she told me she was going shopping and i think she ran into an ex that she was already sad about and possibly the ex said something to make her feel worse.

So weird because this is almost a repeat of my last relationship that lasted 3 years. this is just how it went in the begininng but i don't want to use that as a map for anything that might happen, because right now we're still getting to know eachother.

 

But do you think i should wait until she sends me a messages or should i send her one? Either way i'm going to be at the jazz club this thursday and she'll be there too.

[pbjbear]

While I don't disagree entirely with pbjbear these studies will never prove causation about any of this. There is simply no way to objectively come up with any conclusions about matters like these.

 

Men want one thing, woman want another, and every now and again we meet in the middle.

 

This is why I think the majority of dating is pointless for me. Tired of wasting my energy on a guy when I dont get much out of it

[scratch]

This is why I think the majority of dating is pointless for me. Tired of wasting my energy on a guy when I dont get much out of it

 

It would be interesting to hear you articulate what you want to "get" out of it. I don't think you're looking for someone to support you financially, which seems to be a key objection in this thread. What you don't seem to want is a companion with whom to have fun, unless there are other components involved. So, what is it you would like to get out of a relationship? I encourage you to attempt to describe tangible things, like going on vacation or meeting parents or whatever.

 

As far as the financial aspect goes, I wonder how often women who significantly out-earn their men push for marriage, living together, etc. Is wanting to move a relationship forward the purview of the female gender, or the purview of the person who would like the financial support?

[Keenly]

If you truly feel you get nothing out of a relationship then perhaps they aren't for you, but to spread that hate around and expect us all to hate relationships too..... sigh

[pbjbear]

It would be interesting to hear you articulate what you want to "get" out of it. I don't think you're looking for someone to support you financially, which seems to be a key objection in this thread. What you don't seem to want is a companion with whom to have fun, unless there are other components involved. So, what is it you would like to get out of a relationship? I encourage you to attempt to describe tangible things, like going on vacation or meeting parents or whatever.

 

As far as the financial aspect goes, I wonder how often women who significantly out-earn their men push for marriage, living together, etc. Is wanting to move a relationship forward the purview of the female gender, or the purview of the person who would like the financial support?

 

No Im not looking for someone to support me. Im looking for a relationship, Ive done plenty of casual dating, and I want something more meaningful. Im very wary about jumping into relationships though. I find it takes several months for someones true colors to come out...Ive had a few shorter exclusive but not bf/gf relationships and many of them the guys acted very different after the first 2 months. Im not desperate by any means.

 

Most men just want a **** buddy, friends with benefits or a girlfriend-without-commitment situation.

 

Hell yes I like to have fun...but "just fun" isnt good enough for me anymore. I dont need to date to get my fun, I have plenty of great friends for that

[Keenly]

 

Most men just want a **** buddy, friends with benefits or a girlfriend-without-commitment situation.

 

 

 

 

You really have no idea just how twisted and distorted your idea of the truth is.

[pbjbear]

You really have no idea just how twisted and distorted your idea of the truth is.

 

Can I ask where you live?

[ltjg45]

Can I ask where you live?

 

You may need to move to a smaller city.

 

I don't know what "big city" you live at but I couldn't help but to feel these "big cities" is where you can find a good portion of these players at.

[sweetkiwi]

I don't say that, or think it. There are generalizations I make when bitter or angry. But in my heart I know that humans are a wonderful spectrum of traits.

 

Even if all people were good or kind there would HAVE to he some who weren't. And also the opposite is true.

 

Don't worry guy. This forum isn't a good representation of the entire planet.

[CptObvious]

I don't think there's anything wrong with being a scumbag. It's just a part of your personality, it's just who you are. Be yourself, unless you suck, in that case be a scumbag.

[sweetkiwi]

Whoa didn't read the comments first.

 

PjBear I know plenty of guys who want real relationships. Even if they dont want it specifically with YOU.

 

Shoot I would love to have a relationship. But a good one. Haven't found it so now I am finally trying casual sex with a few select partners. So by your logic I am a man.

[Keenly]

Can I ask where you live?

 

I live right outside of the capitol city of the most populated state in the US.

 

AKA right outside of Sacramento.

 

Every dude I am friends, every single one, is not into the casual sex. We are all longing for a relationship / companion ship. There is a cycle we all go through, where no more than 1 of us is able to have a relationship at any one time. Statistical anomaly I guess. According to that rotation though I should be next

[clia]

I say and it I mean 90% of men are all the same. Most men I find, despite their temperament/personality/character are more selfish and shallow than the majority of women I meet. I think women tend to have more emotional depth and look inside a person. This is a statement I make on numbers...meaning the % of "good men" and "good women" There are good men but they are RARE, there are more good women out there (though there are certainly some nasty women too...)

 

I also truly believe men, in general not 100%, are emotionally weaker than women which makes it hard for me to find a guy I would want to marry. Men today seem to be so emotionally immature and I dont feel like dealing with it

 

I think you might have an easier time dating if you didn't expect men to be identical to women. Men aren't like women. They are totally, totally different! Once you are able to accept that and accept that men are how they are, it allows you to appreciate all of the good things about men. It also allows you to not get bitter about things that just aren't relevant. You focus so much on the bad and ignore the good. You seem to want a man who is more like a woman. Have you read any John Gray books? You might find them helpful.

 

With gender quality becoming more and more true, eventually all will be the same however. Right now we are in a transition period.

 

God, I hope not. I like it that men and women are different and I hope it stays that way.

[scratch]

No Im not looking for someone to support me. Im looking for a relationship, Ive done plenty of casual dating, and I want something more meaningful. Im very wary about jumping into relationships though. I find it takes several months for someones true colors to come out...Ive had a few shorter exclusive but not bf/gf relationships and many of them the guys acted very different after the first 2 months. Im not desperate by any means.

 

Most men just want a **** buddy, friends with benefits or a girlfriend-without-commitment situation.

 

Hell yes I like to have fun...but "just fun" isnt good enough for me anymore. I dont need to date to get my fun, I have plenty of great friends for that

 

You didn't really answer my question: what is it you would like to get out of a relationship? For me, I'd like a travel buddy, (occasional) workout buddy, (occasional) sports watching buddy, sex buddy, equal financial and household partner, and possible co-parent rolled into one. If I meet a girl and don't want that with her, it's because she either wouldn't want it, wouldn't be good at it, or doesn't stir a strong enough romantic feeling within me.

[truth_seeker]

I say and it I mean 90% of men are all the same. Most men I find, despite their temperament/personality/character are more selfish and shallow than the majority of women I meet. I think women tend to have more emotional depth and look inside a person. This is a statement I make on numbers...meaning the % of "good men" and "good women" There are good men but they are RARE, there are more good women out there (though there are certainly some nasty women too...)

 

I also truly believe men, in general not 100%, are emotionally weaker than women which makes it hard for me to find a guy I would want to marry. Men today seem to be so emotionally immature and I dont feel like dealing with it

 

People on this site dont believe me when I say average looking men can act the same as a super hot alpha man with options. Or that men without options treat women bad. Or that average men tend to just show their true colors later on in dating.

 

I think society reinforces the idea that women are supposed to be the caring nurturing selfless types and men get a free pass to be rude insensitive and mean. There are endless excuses for men acting this way...so many variations of "hes a guy" "boys will be boys" Women can def be selfish and rude too so not saying they arent, but all the phrases used to describe them are derogatory. There are no free passes for women to be mean...in conclusion I dont think its entirely a man's fault that they tend to be so selfish.

 

With gender quality becoming more and more true, eventually all will be the same however. Right now we are in a transition period.

 

I find it very difficult to read through the Sexual Issues and Cheating & Flirting Forums on this site with all the double standards so men can be selfish. Drives me bonkers

 

I think women who have limited options put up with or take chances on low quality men. Just like men will put up shallow, self-absorbed women as long as they're hot.

 

As we get older, and feel time is running out, we settle. It's sad but it's reality.

[Woggle]

PBJbear I hope one way you can past these views and stop viewing half the population as all being the same. I won't judge you for doing the same I did but it's not good to be that way.