kaylan Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 (edited) So for some reason I thought to check my exes fb. Although we havent spoke in a couple years, I still let out a sigh and got a feeling in my chest just seeing a picture of her. Ive been on OKC for the last hour, and seeing her picture on fb made me think "man if she was just some profile online, I would have simply glossed over her". Why do I say this? Because like Ive always said, I admit she wasnt the cutest girl, and theres a chance I may not even shot her much of a second look if she was originally just some girl I saw walking around. But because of the way we clicked mentally while getting to know each other, my entire perception of her beauty is forever changed personally. Despite everything Im saying here, for me, shes still got that "it" factor...where I cant tell myself she isnt beautiful. And even the prettiest girls Ive met or slept with dont seem more cute or attractive than her in my mind. Sure I can say that for most people shes not the best looking girl. Sure I can finally agree with my friends that I could have (and I have) gotten "better looking" women...but with the way I feel...there wasnt any better. Fvk man. Thats how you know something was love. When you dont give a damn about the rest of the pretty girls in the world...and that one girl has your true top spot as most awesome of all. And all because she knew just how to get into your heart before you knew what happened. Goddamn I miss that feeling. I really do. And though Im over what happened with my ex...I truly miss what we had. That was the one real time I was in love in my life. Sometimes I wish we met now...when we were more mature. Not a dumb 22 and 19 year old. I know my posts may make it seem like Im very concerned with looks in a mate. But emotional and mental connection matter most to me. With my ex, I didnt ever truly evaluate her physically until after I had already fallen for her. Her looks had nothing to do with it...I fell because she challenged me and was different from all the other gals. Edited February 5, 2013 by kaylan 3
tbf Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 If she's still single, what's to stop you from messaging her on facebook?
ls32ssibm Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 So you admit she's nothing special at face value, but your feelings are there because you two spent time together. Well, that's how it would be for all those other faces on OKC or wherever. Chances are, you'd click with at least 1/5 of them or some reasonable number like that if you dated them. I haven't had a FB for a year, and I probably won't for awhile (if I move from my hometown I may reconsider to keep in contact with friends). My ex is on there with her new guy and they seem as happy as can be, but I know my ex and I know it's 90% showmanship. I know some of her quirks (extremely low libido, selfishness) must be driving that new guy crazy.
ls32ssibm Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 If she's still single, what's to stop you from messaging her on facebook? They broke up, and making contact is a horrible way to get over it? He shouldn't have even looked at her FB. He said he got a crappy feeling from it.
SmileFace Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 I agree - which is probably why I am stuck on the last guy I really dated. Granted I still wonder if we did continue if the physical part will have started to bother me since he isn't someone I will normally find attractive, granted he is attactive - just not my type - if that makes sense. I too wish we waited to date - trying a ldr with him was the biggest mistake since I don't think I can forget the crap from it and give him a next chance Sigh Shrugs.
tbf Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Although we havent spoke in a couple years, And though Im over what happened with my ex... They broke up, and making contact is a horrible way to get over it? He shouldn't have even looked at her FB. He said he got a crappy feeling from it. They're done.
Author kaylan Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 If she's still single, what's to stop you from messaging her on facebook? I dunno if shes still single or not. And even if she was. That relationship is a done deal. Though Im sure we have grown up some and have matured...time cant really erase what we went through. Even if we are both different people, getting back in touch would open old wounds, and I know Id definitely feel on guard most of the time. I take what I had with her as a learning and growing experience. I finally realized what it felt like to truly love someone, and I learned what to do and not to do in a relationship. 1
Author kaylan Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 I agree - which is probably why I am stuck on the last guy I really dated. Granted I still wonder if we did continue if the physical part will have started to bother me since he isn't someone I will normally find attractive, granted he is attactive - just not my type - if that makes sense. I too wish we waited to date - trying a ldr with him was the biggest mistake since I don't think I can forget the crap from it and give him a next chance Sigh Shrugs. Thats where we differ. Though the looks part didnt really make for a reason of why I fell for my ex, she was still my type physically. Or at least one of the few types I generally go for. So I never worried about not being attracted to her. I cant even explain why I didnt evaluate her too much physically when we met, because normally I evaluate every girl I meet. Hell, the last girl I dated wasnt really my ideal type physically, but as my feelings grew for her, it was something I never thought about. As long as a girl falls in my ballpark of what I find attractive, then if our personalities click, attraction will only grow greater. If I recognize the girl as someone unattractive to me from the jump, than a mental click wont change that.
SmileFace Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Thats where we differ. Though the looks part didnt really make for a reason of why I fell for my ex, she was still my type physically. Or at least one of the few types I generally go for. So I never worried about not being attracted to her. I cant even explain why I didnt evaluate her too much physically when we met, because normally I evaluate every girl I meet. Hell, the last girl I dated wasnt really my ideal type physically, but as my feelings grew for her, it was something I never thought about. As long as a girl falls in my ballpark of what I find attractive, then if our personalities click, attraction will only grow greater. If I recognize the girl as someone unattractive to me from the jump, than a mental click wont change that. Yeah - different story...same ending. I get what you are saying tho and can connect to it in a way.
Talak7 Posted February 5, 2013 Posted February 5, 2013 Here's a mental click for you You would've glossed over your exes picture online... And you were surprised at the connection formed. With this random girl. Out of billions. And you think "well she was the one". Note also everyone feels this with someone at some point... Hah that's not how math works... There's tons of girls. You're just comparing them to your ex instead of getting over her and opening your mind to new people. In truth we make the connections, they don't just happen. Accept that we are not all lucky- just surprisingly compatible
Author kaylan Posted February 5, 2013 Author Posted February 5, 2013 Here's a mental click for you You would've glossed over your exes picture online... And you were surprised at the connection formed. With this random girl. Out of billions. And you think "well she was the one". Note also everyone feels this with someone at some point... Hah that's not how math works... There's tons of girls. You're just comparing them to your ex instead of getting over her and opening your mind to new people. In truth we make the connections, they don't just happen. Accept that we are not all lucky- just surprisingly compatible Never said I was lucky. I dont compare new women to my ex. I compare the feelings I had for my ex with feelings I have for new women. Why? Because I know what genuine care, love, and affection feel like know. In other words, Ive learned to become sure of what it is Im looking for. My missing the feeling I had when I was with her, isnt the same as not being over her. I think everyone misses that kind of love.
Mary7720 Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 Everyone has a first love and it's good to be aware of what that experience is like, but the next time you truly love someone it WILL be different...don't hang on to that particular feeling/relationship too much, keep your eyes and heart open for someone else who cares deeply for you.
Leigh 87 Posted February 7, 2013 Posted February 7, 2013 Lovely story:) I hope I find a guy that feels like that about me one day. 1
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